In The Middle
by Malboro-Pearls
Summary: Five years ago, Edward hit rock bottom, losing his love and his family in one night. Five years on he's rebuilt his life without them, moving on with his life until one day they appear back in his life, threatening what he's built up for himself. Can he deal with their reappearance? And what about the little boy Edward loves more than anything in the world? Can he cope with it all?
1. Chapter 1

**_Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of Twilight unfortunately. They belong to Stephenie Meyer. I just like to manipulate them into doing what I want them to do._**

**I know that you're probably all waiting for an update to my other stories and they're coming, I promise. I have an update for Cold Comfort, Back to Life and Change of Heart waiting in the wings for a little tune up but this little story - well, not so little - has been flitting round my head for a long time now and I've finally decided to get it written down and posted.**

**It's different to my other stories and is a plot done many times but mine has a bit of a twist to it. Some of you might not like it and I'm not going to urge you to read it if you don't but I'm going to ask you to give it a try. If you don't like it, you don't have to read it.**

**Anyways, like I said, there are updates to the three mentioned earlier coming in the next couple of days. I have a few chapters of this story already written.**

**I hope you enjoy.**

"Killian, Come on!" I yell up the stairs for the fourth time in less than fifteen minutes. "Uncle Jake's going to be here in a minute and if you're not downstairs by the time he gets here, I'll tell him you're not allowed any ice cream!"

"I'm coming!" I smirk to myself, knowing that that would have the desired effect and sure enough, moments later, I hear the clomping of my four year old's feet coming down the stairs as quickly as he could, while holding onto the railing like I'd always told him to do.

Threaten the ice cream.

Works every time.

"I ready!" He calls triumphantly and I smile down at him, picking him up and setting him on one of the stools by the kitchen island.

I quickly did up his shoe laces, putting him back on the ground so that he could put on his jacket. The right way round this time. Hopefully.

I walked through into the hallway quickly as I heard the doorbell rang and Killian practically ran to the door, waiting for me to open it as he bounced on his toes. Even though he was so excited he looked as though he could wet himself, he knew not to open the door without me there.

As I opened the door, Killian beat me to the large man on the other side with one of his ear splitting screams as he launched himself to him. I swear, he was going to burst an eardrum one of these days. Thankfully, Jake was used to this and was waiting for the thirty pound bundle with open arms.

Sometimes, I wondered who was older mentally.

Thinking about it, it was Killian. Definitely Killian.

"Hey, man." He grinned, flipping my son upside down, his giggles making him grin even more. I turned my head as Killian hung there and I couldn't help but laugh. When he started to go red I signalled for Jake to turn him up the right way round, which he did, placing him back on the ground.

"Hey, Jake." I looked down at Killian, who was looking between the two of us expectantly. "You ready to go?" I asked and he nodded, running to get his backpack.

"How're you doing, man?" He asked, stepping inside the door, watching me closely.

I took a deep breath, biting my lip. "I'll be okay." I sighed, watching for Killian. Thankfully, being the age he was, stealth wasn't one of his strong suits. "It's something I need to do."

"Anya's going with you, right?" He asked and I nodded, knowing that I wouldn't be able to do this on my own. "Alright. Well, call if you need anything, got it?" He pointed a finger at me, which I guessed was supposed to be intimidating but because it was Jake, despite his size, it really wasn't.

"Got it." I chuckled as Killian ran back in with his backpack, dropping it unceremoniously on my foot.

But hey, he's four. When does he ever do anything with any kind of grace?

"Ready to go, champ?" Jake asked and he looked up at me, holding his arms out, wanting a hug. Apparently, now that it actually came down to it, I wasn't the only one not wanting to be apart.

I quickly bent down, crouching on my knees, wrapping my arms around him, clutching his tiny body to my own as he wrapped his arms around my neck.

"Love you, Daddy." He said softly as he buried his head in my neck and I felt my heart breaking a little, hating to leave him, even if it was for only one night.

"Love you, Peanut." I whispered, squeezing him tightly until he giggled. "Now," I blinked quickly, trying to get rid of the tears that were building, not wanting him to see that him leaving upset me so much. "Be good for Jake and Leah, okay?"

He nodded, looking up at Jake, who grinned down at him. He picked up Killian's backpack and held out his hand for him.

"And you, limit the sugar. Don't think I haven't forgotten when I left him with you for the afternoon the sitter was sick." I warned and Jake laughed, throwing his head back. I didn't find it finny, especially at the time. When I'd picked him up from Jake's that afternoon after work, the little boy that I'd picked up was jittery and shaky, not sitting still and it took me forever to get him to settle down. He was two hours late for bedtime that night and incredibly cranky at daycare the next day.

I still hadn't forgiven Jake for that little stunt.

Thank God for Leah. She would control the sugar intake tonight.

I watched as the two of them walked to Jake's car and smiled to myself as Killian scrambled to climb into the backseat, clearly not happy that he wasn't allowed up front. Even though Jake usually gave in to whatever my son wanted, safety in the car was one thing he wouldn't ease up on. Killian knew the rules. Didn't mean he didn't try to push them, though. He waved at me as Jake closed the car door and I waved back, crushing down the urge to run to the car and pull him out, stating that I'd changed my mind and wasn't going to Washington after all.

I watched them pull out, waving at Killian the whole time before they left my sight. I took a deep breath, relieved when the dark blue Mercedes pulled in almost immediately afterwards.

She climbed out of the car, looking as stunning as ever. Anya Walker didn't do casual. Even when she did, she looked like she'd stepped out of a magazine. Even in sweats after a workout, she looked stunning.

Long auburn hair that fell to her waist, pale skin and glittering green eyes. Many said that we looked like we could be brother and sister because we were so similar in looks.

We're not.

We checked.

"Hey, Rogers." She grinned as walked up the porch. "Monkey just gone?" She asked, glancing in the direction Jake's car had just driven off in and I nodded. "Aw, honey." She linked an arm through mine, pulling me into the house. "It'll be okay. It's just one night and he's with Jake and Leah. Other than a little sugar overdose – and with Leah around, you know that'll probably not happen – he'll be fine. You can call them when we land to check in and before bed if you need to. Tomorrow night, he be back in your arms, okay?"

Her words were soft and she knew that I knew she was right. Unfortunately, it wasn't as easy to turn the feelings off. I guess what they said about separation anxiety was true. I hadn't spent a night away from him since he was born and I was dreading it now.

"You ready to go?" She asked, standing by the door and I nodded, slipping on my jacket and grabbing my overnight bag, phone, wallet and keys, locking the door behind me as she walked over to the car.

I let out a breath, following her, knowing that I had to do this I was ever going to properly put it all into the past behind me and focus on my future with my son. It didn't help that all I wanted to do was curl up in bed and forget about the whole thing.

"You sure about this?" She asked, looking over at me before she pulled her visor down, blocking out the San Franciscan sun.

"Absolutely." I looked over towards her and she smiled, turning on the ignition before peeling out of the driveway. Sometimes, I swear she thinks she's a boy racer or something.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Being back in Seattle wasn't as hard as I'd thought it was going to be. But then again, it wasn't the city that had hurt me. It was the people inside the city. It was the people here that had broken my heart, turned their backs on me when I needed them the most.

And I didn't even know why.

"Come on, let's get some lunch. I'm starving." Anya demanded, grabbing my arm as she carried her bag in the other, practically dragging me behind her to pick up a rental for while we were here. Well, I say _dragging_ but we both knew that if I didn't want to move, she wasn't going to get me to. I knew that the rental was a must though.

Girl had a thing about public transport.

Can't say I blame her to be honest.

After a quick argument with her about who was going to drive – which I won, thank you very much. Being tall has its advantages – we made our w ay to a small out of the way diner.

"So what are you more scare about over there?" She asked as she started to tuck into her food. Or devour, should I say. Another thing I loved about Anya. She didn't care about things like calorie content and shit like that. She wasn't one of these girls that survived on nothing but lettuce and carrots to stay thin. She had curves and she loved them. So did her husband. Something I'd heard too much about thank you very much.

"Huh?"

"You're afraid." _Duh!_ "And I don't think it's because of tomorrow. Yeah, watching the guy that tried to kill you die has to be nerve wracking but I don't think that's why you're so shaken up, Rogers." She studied me for a moment and I stared straight back knowing that if I let her, she'd snap me in half.

Metaphorically, of course.

She's not big enough to do it literally.

"You're afraid you're going to run into him, aren't you?" She whispered, taking a bite out of her burger as I placed mine down on the plate in front of me.

"I know that I shouldn't be," I sighed, folding my arms in front of me. "I mean, he moved. He disappeared. It's not like he'd come back."

"It's been five years." She pointed out, shrugging and I glared up at her. "What? It has. There's enough reason to believe that he would come back to think that he would stay away."

"You're not helping." I mutter picking up my burger and taking a bite.

"Trying to be realistic sweetie." She smiled and I rolled my eyes, hating that she was right.

"Don't like realism." I muttered again and she laughed, shaking her head. "Can we talk about something else, please?" I plead with her and she nodded with a small smile on her face.

"Actually, I do have something I need to ask you."

"Shoot!"

"What do you think of the name Damien?" She asked and I raised an eyebrow at her, wondering what the hell she was talking about. "I'm serious. I like it. What do you think?"

"What are you-" I could stop the grin that spread across my face as realisation hit me. "Oh my God. Are you?" She nodded and I couldn't help but laugh. "Oh my God!"

"You said that already." She smirked and I rolled my eyes, unable to wipe the smile off my face.

"When did you find out?" I asked and she bit her lip, indicating that she'd known for a little while. "When?"

"You know I was feeling crappy a couple of weeks ago and we all assumed it was that fly bug that was going around?" I nodded, remembering that she had not looked her best for those few days. Even then she was a stubborn bitch about going to see the doctor. It had taken both me and her husband, Masen dragging her out of the house to get her to go. Even then, the only thing that convinced her to go was the pleading look on my son's face, telling her that he didn't want to be sick anymore. "Well, they took some blood," which she complained about, "and I got the results about a week or so later. I had a scan two days ago to confirm."

"Wait, I saw you yesterday! How the hell did you manage to keep your mouth shut?"

She looked at me, trying to appear slightly offended, which I didn't believe for a second. "Because I knew that being here would be hard for you and I wanted to give you something good to think about while you were here." I had to admit, I liked her reasoning.

And it had worked.

It had taken my mind off of all the crap that could happen while I was in Seattle. None of it was pretty to think about.

As a matter of fact, it made me want to rip my heart out of my chest just so that it wouldn't hurt anymore.

"I'm sure your family is still here." She said softly and I shook my head, not entertaining the thoughts that I knew were running through her head.

"No." She raised an eyebrow and I quirked one right back. "They're the ones who followed him in walking out on me and I don't even know why. I don't know why he left or why they decided to follow him but if they wanted to get in contact with me, they could have done. My number and email are exactly the same as they were five years ago. On the other hand, all theirs have changed and they've disappeared as well." I ran my hands through my hair, still not understanding what exactly happened five years ago to make them abandon me when I needed them the most. "And besides, I have to put Killian first. I don't know what could happen if they turned up again but it's too much of a risk to find out." She nodded, getting my reasoning. She loved my son like he was her own and she would do anything to protect him. "Anyway, how did Masen take it?" I asked and she bit her lip again. "You have told him, haven't you?"

"Not yet." She sighed, rolling her eyes at me. "You're one to talk." She instantly paled at her own words, looking like she might throw up. Which was actually a distinct possibility. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean-"

"I know. It's fine." I waved her off, knowing that I've made mistakes all of my own. "So how come you haven't told him yet?"

"I didn't want to jump the gun and have it be nothing after all after the tests results came back and I had the scan two days ago while he's been out of town. It's not really something you can tell someone over the phone, is it?"

She had a point.

We sat and talked for a while longer about the baby and how we reckoned Masen was going to react. She thought that he was going to squeal like a little girl and I thought he was going to do a Ross and go completely dumb. Then we realised that it would probably be a combination of the both. That kept us occupied for a while.

Checking into the hotel had been a bit of an experience. Apparently, the baby didn't like Mommy having burgers because Anya had begun to feel nauseous. Something the girl behind the counter apparently didn't seem to understand. She seemed to be going as slowly as possible checking us in until Anya leaned over and told her that if she didn't give her the room keys now then she would be barfing all over the girls' computer.

Her words, not mine.

Needless to say, the girl sped up a bit after that, practically throwing the key cards at Anya before telling us to enjoy our stay.

Anya practically ran to the elevators, pushing the call button over and over again as though it would speed the machine up.

I laughed as threw herself into the elevator, glaring at me as I strolled in with my bag. She didn't say anything I knew that it was because she was afraid that if she opened her mouth, she really would throw up.

Been there, done that. Had to throw out the puke covered t-shirt.

I barely had time to register that the elevator doors were opening before she was scurrying down the hallway and forcing the key card into the door. I heard the thud of her bag being dropped and the bathroom door slammed as I walked through the main door.

I laughed as I closed the door, grabbing her bag and taking it over to one of the beds. I know she didn't like sleeping next to the door, so I put my stuff on that bed. I swear that girl had watched too many horror films.

I heard her moan as she walked back into the bedroom, her hair now in a low ponytail. It was amazing how she'd managed to do that shit.

"Feel better?" I asked in an annoyingly cheerful tone, knowing that she didn't.

"Shut up." She moaned, sticking her finger up at me. "And no." She flopped down on her bed, resting her arm over her eyes. "How long does this crappy feeling last?"

"Depends."

"On what?"

"On you. Your body. Every pregnancy is different. Some don't get sick at all and the some are sick the whole way through." Apparently, my answer wasn't the right one. At least, judging by the groan that escaped her.

The rest of the day was spent lounging around in the hotel room. Neither of us really wanted to do anything other than watch TV and call room service.

So that's exactly what we did.

"I think it might stay down this time." She grinned at me and I chuckled, shaking my head.

"Don't say that. You'll jinx it." I reminded her and she glared at me. Jeez, what was with her? Yeah, hormones, I get that but she didn't have to be so mean, did she?

Probably.

We ended up watching _Muriel's Wedding_ – she threatened me if she didn't get to watch it – and I fell asleep around twenty minutes in, the exhaustion of the day finally hitting me.

Waking up the next morning, I felt a wave of nausea wash over me and I knew it had nothing to do with the food from last night.

Anya's might have had a little something to do with it.

In three hours' time, the man that had tried to end my life and taken so many before then was going to die.

And I didn't feel a thing.

I had thought that I might have felt something with regards to that man. Some kind of . . . something. But there wasn't anything. I couldn't bring myself to feel anything when it came to him.

Two hours later we were on our way to Washington State Penitentiary and getting checked in. We had to be searched and leave our belongings in a special locker room. The only thing we were allowed to take in were the keys to the lockers.

"You sure about this?" Anya asked one final time before we went into the viewing area and I nodded, taking a deep breath.

We walked into the small room and all eyes turned to us. I felt my face heat up, not wanting the attention. These were the loved ones of the boys that this man had brutally murdered. And I was the only survivor. They were probably wondering what was so special about me to have gotten away from him.

I felt Anya's hand on my arm and I looked down at her. She smiled up at me and I remembered why I had been alright. It was her and her husband that had gotten me through that when my family should have been there for me.

If it hadn't been for the two of them, I would be number nine on his list and who knew how many more would have followed.

Watching the man that had attacked me didn't hold any appeal for me. It was the fact that he could see me standing there, the one that had made it out and caused him to be where he was, facing what he was. It was the knowing that I was the last thing he was going to see was what made it worth it.

. . . . . . . . . .

"I know, I know. I'm sorry, I'm late." I said into the phone trying to stop Anya from screeching at me. Well, threatening to rip my balls off was more like it. Masen was coming back into town tomorrow and she was panicking about how to tell him about the baby. She was considering getting Killian to do it for her and I told her that she would not be using my four year old as her way of telling her husband that she was pregnant.

I tapped my foot, waiting for my order to be called as I waited for her to stop ranting at me. Finally, my number was called and I grabbed my coffee, turning to the door and walking straight into someone that was walking towards me.

"Shit!" I hissed, dropping the cup as the scalding liquid poured on my hand. I shook my hand, trying to get as much of the hot coffee off as possible.

"Oh crap, are you okay?" I froze as I heard the dulcet tones that I'd come to love for such a long time. I looked up, seeing the cerulean blue eyes that had haunted me for the last four years. I felt my throat practically seize up as I saw him.

"Jasper."

. . . . . . . . .

**Chapter 2 coming up.**

**Let me know what you think of it. Love it? Hate it? Not really much of an opinion yet? Let me know.**


	2. Chapter 2

**_Disclaimer: Again I don't own. Stephenie Meyer owns. Well, apart from Anya and Killian, both of whom I think rock!_**

"_Shit!" I hissed, dropping the cup as the scalding liquid poured on my hand. I shook my hand, trying to get as much of the hot coffee off as possible._

"_Oh crap, are you okay?" I froze as I heard the dulcet tones that I'd come to love for such a long time. I looked up, seeing the cerulean blue eyes that had haunted me for the last four years. I felt my throat practically seize up as I saw him._

"_Jasper."_

_. . . . . . . . . _

We stood there staring at each other and I felt like I couldn't breathe. What was he doing here? Why was he here? In San Francisco?

Why? After five years, was he here?

"Are you okay?" He asked, his southern twang washing over me like velvet, the same way it had when we were together. There was nothing in his voice that even hinted that I had meant anything to him.

"Jasper, babe, you okay?" I glanced at the guy standing next to him, to see him looking at me, an eyebrow raised. "Can we help you?" I bristled at his tone, getting ready to put this little punk in his place.

"It's okay, Dem," Jasper smiled at him and I felt my heart seize. That was the same way he used to smile at me. I was the only one that he'd smiled at that way. "Don't worry about it. I know him." He looked at me again. "He's an old friend."

My breath caught in my throat and the cracks in my heart that had been weakly glued together blew open and I felt the same way that I had when I gotten home from the hospital five years ago and finding everything of Jasper's gone.

I didn't think I could ever feel that way again.

This was so much worse.

"Excuse me." I said softly, moving past them, my hand starting to throb slightly from the hot coffee that had spilled on it moments ago. I quickly made my way towards the door, blinking rapidly, not wanting any tears to fall while I was still here. I quickly made my way out of the coffee shop, realising that my phone was still in my hand and knowing Anya, she hadn't hung up.

"Hello?"

"Hello? _Hello?_ Seriously? What the hell happened?" She was not happy and I stopped next to my car, taking a shaky breath. "Edward? Rogers, what's wrong?"

"He's here." I whispered and I heard her inhale. "I . . . I need Killian."

"Alright." She said softly and I heard my little boy in the background. He was asking Anya if she had any cookies and she took a moment to tell him that he couldn't have any until he had finished his sandwich. I smiled, picturing the pout on his face as he stomped back through into her kitchen. "Are you coming over?"

"Yeah." I sighed, running my hand through my hair, hissing as the burn came back to the forefront of my mind. I looked at it, seeing that it was already incredibly red. "I'll be there soon."

"Okay," she whispered and we said our goodbyes.

I quickly walked around the car and pulled out my car keys, unlocking the car and glancing up at the coffee shop, seeing Jasper walking out of the door, storming towards me, a furious look on his face. What the hell was he doing?

"What the hell are you doing here, Edward?" He growled and I blinked at him, wondering what the fuck he was talking about.

"Excuse me?" I glared at him as he stared at me, his eyes dark. "I didn't realise it was a crime to get a cup of coffee."

"I mean what are _you_ doing _here? _In San Francisco." His voice was low, dark and I stood up straighter, wondering what the fuck his problem was.

"Not that it's any of your business but I live here. Have done for years." His eyes narrowed at my words and I found I didn't really care. "Why does it matter to you anyway? I'm sure your _friend_ is missing you." His eyes widened a little at my words before he schooled his expression into one of nonchalance. "I don't owe you anything, Jasper. _You_ left _me_, remember? You have no right to ask anything about me anymore."

I didn't say anything else as I opened my door and got into my car and quickly made my way out of the parking lot, not letting myself look in the mirror, not wanting to break down while driving. What was Jasper doing here? Why did he come here?

I forced myself to remain calm as I drove to Anya's, pulling up to her apartment building. She and Masen had two parking spots, one of which was free considering Masen was out of town until the morning. I parked, turning off the ignition, resting my hands on the steering wheel and resting my forehead on my hands. I felt the first traitor tears slide down my cheeks and that was all I needed. I let them loose.

I sat in my car for about ten minutes, letting myself feel the remnants of the heartbreak that had overtaken me in the weeks and months after Jasper left me, taking everyone I'd ever loved with me. I had thought that I had a handle on it since Killian had come along, that I could push it away and maybe meet someone else. But seeing him again made me extremely aware that that wasn't true.

He still held my heart and no matter how much I wanted to be able to piece it back together, he would always be around to shatter it with a single look or word.

I knew that he had become somewhat successful. I didn't make a habit of seeking him out or anything like that. It hurt too much to do that. But I knew that he had made a name for himself with some kind of medical technology or something like that. I didn't listen to it.

I didn't want to know.

It hurt too much.

I sniffed one last time before wiping my cheeks and taking a few deep breaths. I could imagine how pathetic I looked to the people walking around outside. A grown man, sitting in his car sobbing. If only they knew.

I looked in the mirror, noting that there was redness around my eyes and I knew that Anya would be able to tell straight away that I had been crying. I hoped that she would be able to keep Killian occupied for at least a little while so I could get myself together. I didn't need him knowing that Daddy was upset.

I climbed out of the car and made my way through the parking lot and into Anya's building. I smiled at the security guard, who smiled and nodded at me, knowing me because Killian and I were always in and out of the building. He, like everyone else that came into contact with my little boy, had fallen in love with Killian.

It was just the way he was.

I got into the elevator and hit the button that took the elevator up to Anya's floor.

She had the door open before I'd even knocked which made me believe that she had been waiting for the ding of the elevator. Her expression was worried as she looked at me and I knew that she had figured out that I had been crying. She was the one person I could never hide anything from.

Ever.

Sometimes I hated it but sometimes, like right now, I welcomed it.

"Oh, honey." She whispered, stepping forward and wrapping her arms around me tightly while pulling me into the apartment. She closed the door before holding me even tighter. "What happened?" I sniffed, pulling away from her and she grabbed my hand, leading me towards the couch. I looked around for Killian and she smiled. "He's in the guest bedroom, colouring." She knew I wouldn't want him to see me like this. "What happened?"

I took a deep breath. "I'd just got my order when I turned and he was just . . . there. I spilled my coffee everywhere." I showed her my hand and her eyes went wide. I didn't get a chance to say anything more before she was off the couch and into the kitchen. I pulled off my coat, wincing as the fabric pulled against the tender skin on my hand. She appeared a moment later, a towel in her hand, sitting down next to me. She gently took my hand, placing the towel on it and I hissed slightly at the cold. She must have wrapped some ice in it.

I held the towel wrapped ice to my hand, feeling the relief of the cold against my hot skin. I slowly told her exactly what had happened and her expression went from shocked when I told her how he'd referred to me as an old friend to outraged when I told her about how he'd followed me out and demanded to know why I was in San Francisco.

"How dare he?" She seethed and I sat back, knowing how explosive she could be when she was pissed off. Hell, her brother still carried a scar on his eyebrow from when he decided he was going to decapitate her Barbies when they were six. "He just shows up out of nowhere and demands to know why you're in the city? That fucking prick!" She turned to me, her expression softening as she looked at me. "I'm sorry, honey."

"Why are you apologising to me?" I asked, completely confused.

"Because . . . even though it's been such a long time since everything happened, it's clear you still love him." She said softly and I took a deep breath and nodded. I knew I still loved him. I always had and despite his actions and words today, I always would.

"I'm so pathetic." I moaned and she wrapped an arm around me. I rested my head on her shoulder and she rested her cheek on top of my head.

"No, you're not." She whispered, rubbing my arm gently. "He took your heart and didn't give it back. You can't help the way you feel."

I took a deep breath, sitting up and wiping my eyes gently. "I have to. I can't fall apart again. Not again. I have to push it all aside. For Killian." She nodded, her hand resting on her stomach gently. "He can't see me fall apart. It'll confuse him and it's not fair to him to put him through that."

"What are you going to do?" She asked, glancing towards the room where my son was blissfully ignorant of what was happening out here. And I wanted him to remain that way. I didn't want him to have to deal with what was going on, at least not until he was old enough to understand. He was bright for a four year old, already able to spell his own name and mine and write out the alphabet with practised ease but he wasn't able to understand what was going on. It would only upset and confuse him and I didn't want that to happen.

He was the only thing that mattered.

"Not fall apart." I said softly and she rolled her eyes. "I don't know."

"Are you going to tell him?" She asked and I looked at her sharply. She smiled at me sadly. "He's here, Edward. We don't know if he's living here or is just here for a little while but if he is here indefinitely, there's a chance that he could see Killian. Don't you think he's smart enough to figure it out?"

"Why would he?" I shrugged and she rolled her eyes again. "It's not something that's widely known. A lot of people believe it's bullshit."

"But we know it's not. If it was, Killian wouldn't be here." She was right about that. There were still a lot of people out there that didn't accept what had brought Killian into the world. But he was here and he was mine. That was all that mattered to me. "So, are you going to tell him?"

"I don't know." I sighed, leaning back into the couch, running my free hand through my hair. "I don't want to see him again. I don't know if I can handle seeing him again."

"You might have to." She was right. There was a chance that I could see Jasper again and just as high a chance that I would have Killian with me. I didn't want the two of them to meet any time soon.

I needed to be able to see and think of Jasper without breaking down before I even fathomed introducing him to my son.

No. That would not be happening for a long time.

If ever.

We didn't get a chance to talk any further before my little hurricane came rushing into the room, squealing when he saw me sitting there, jumping on me.

"Daddy, where there towel on your hand?" He asked, touching it gently before looking up at me.

"Daddy had an accident." I gently unwrapped the towel from around my hand and showed him what had happened to my hand. He gasped when he saw how red my hand was. It was starting to swell a little bit and Anya raised an eyebrow at me. I knew she was going to suggest that I go to the hospital to have it checked out. "This is why we're careful around hot liquid, okay?" He nodded, his eyes wide and I rewrapped the towel around my hand.

I pulled him up onto my lap, holding him to my chest and he leaned back into me. I pressed my nose into his hair and closed my eyes. His toddler smell calmed me down, grounding me.

He soon decided that he'd had enough of sitting still and ran back into the guest bedroom, grabbing some of the toys that Anya and Masen had for him before settling in the living room, completely oblivious to everything around him.

"How can I disrupt his life?" I asked Anya softly and she sighed, shaking her head, watching the little boy play. "I can't. I can't do that to him."

"What happens when he asks?" She asked, looking at me and I sighed, closing my eyes. "You know he's going to."

"I'll deal with that when it comes." I answered, meeting her eyes and she nodded, clearly not happy with my answer.

"How are you dealing with today?" She asked and I rolled my eyes, knowing that she wouldn't have let that drop.

"I don't know." I said quietly, toeing my shoes off and tucking my feet up underneath me. "I don't know how to deal with it. I didn't think I'd ever see him again. And I _never_ thought that he'd ever refer to me as an '_old friend_'. It's like . . . it's like what we had meant nothing to him. Like _I_ meant nothing to him."

"I'm sure that's not true." She said softly, resting a hand on my arm.

"You didn't see him. You didn't see the way he looked at me." I shook my head, resting my head on the back of the couch, willing the tears that had begun building again away. "There was nothing there. It was like he was looking at a stranger."

"I'm sorry, Rogers." She whispered and I shook my head, looking down at Killian.

"It doesn't matter." I whispered back, watching as Killian looked up and grinned at me. "It doesn't matter anymore. Because I got something amazing out of that relationship. He might have taken everyone away from me, but he gave me the most amazing little person on the planet."

"You're right about that." She grinned and I stood up, unwrapping the towel from my hand, placing it on the coffee table. I realised that Anya had used those little frozen blocks she had. She said it was better than using actual ice cubes because they didn't melt and get water everywhere. I grabbed my coat and carefully slid it on, calling for Killian to do the same thing. He looked up at me, pouting and I raised an eyebrow at him.

He quickly took off into the guest bedroom to collect his jacket and shoes, leaving me grinning and Anya giggling. "What? It works."

"I swear, one day I'm going to find out why he does whatever you want him to do when you do that." She laughed and I tapped my nose, indicating for her to butt out and she held up her hands in surrender.

"Don't worry, when your little one comes along, you'll learn a trick or two to keep them in line." She shrugged, nodding slightly as she considered my words. I knew she would. Every parent had their little tricks.

"You should go to the hospital about your hand, Rogers." She said softly and I looked down at her. She was serious and I rolled my eyes. "Don't brush it off, Edward." Uh oh, I was in trouble. She used my actual name. "You need to get it checked out. It could get infected or something."

"I'm sure it's fine." I waved her off and she stared at me. "Alright, if there's something wrong in the morning, I'll go and get it checked out, okay?" She wasn't pleased by my answer but she knew that it was all she was going to get out of me. I didn't tell her that my hand was now throbbing and I really wanted to be able to pop a hell of a load of Tylenol and hope it goes away. "Killian, come on."

"Coming!" He ran into the room, shoes and jacket on and I was glad that I'd convinced him to wear his Velcro sneakers today. He didn't like wearing them, claiming that only babies wore Velcro shoes and he wasn't a baby anymore. I'd compromised with him and told him that if he could tie his laces up, then he could wear his lace-ups.

He couldn't do it.

So we were wearing Velcro sneakers.

It didn't take me long to get him out of the apartment and back home. He was more interested in what we were going to have for dinner and he jumped around excitably when I told him that we would be ordering in from a local Italian restaurant down the street. My hand was starting to really throb and I didn't feel like cooking. Thankfully, our favourite little restaurant delivered and it was healthy food as well. I went into the bathroom, reaching up into the medicine cabinet and grabbing the Tylenol and shaking a couple out. I shoved them in my mouth, leaning over the sink and drinking straight from the tap, swallowing the pills. I sure as hell hoped to god that they worked. And soon.

Killian sat happily telling me about his day with Anya, his legs swinging as he sat on his booster seat at the table as we ate our dinner. I couldn't help but smile at my son, brushing some of his hair out of his eyes. Everyone said that he looked exactly like me and I had to admit, there was no mistaking that he was mine. With his unruly copper hair and bright green eyes, he was clearly my little boy but there were things in him that others didn't see.

Getting him into bed was always a struggle and tonight was no different. He tried to run when it was bathtime but the main thing working against him was that he always hid in the same place, meaning that I could just grab him and get him in there once it was full.

I left him, singing in the bath as he played with the bath toys Masen and Anya had gotten him, stating that they were too cute to leave.

Getting him into his pj's was always an interesting time. I had to practically wrestle them onto him as he squirmed and giggled. Thankfully, he'd always been this way and I was very well practised in the art of getting Killian ready for bed. Once they were on, he settled down and I threw the covers back, waiting for him to drop down and turn over onto his back, giggling.

"Baby star!" He laughed as I tucked him in, kneeling down next to the bed.

"Alright." I smiled at him and he giggled again, shuffling down in bed as I started in a soft voice. "_Once there was a baby star,  
He lived up near the sun.  
And every night at bedtime, that baby star just wanted to have some fun.  
He'd shine and shine and fall and shoot and twinkle oh, so bright.  
And he said, 'Mommy, I'll run away if you make me say goodnight'.  
And his mommy kissed him on his sparkly nose and said,  
'No matter where you go, no matter where you are,  
No matter how big you grow or if you stray far.  
I'll love you forever because you'll always be my baby star'."_

He smiled at me sleepily and I smiled down, running my fingers through his hair, leaning forward and kissing him on his nose before he giggled and gave me an Eskimo kiss. I kissed his forehead before standing up, walking around his bed and turning on the small nightlight he had at the foot of his bed. I walked to the door, turning to look at him as he wriggled down into the covers, smiling at me sleepily.

"Night, Daddy." He said softly and I smiled.

"Night, baby." I whispered, turning off the light and closing the door just to so that there was a small strip of light in his room. He wasn't necessarily scared of the dark but it made him nervous.

I quickly made my way downstairs and made sure that everything was locked up and the alarm was set before turning off all the lights and making my way upstairs.

I changed and crawled into bed, leaving my door slightly open in case little four year old feet decided to wander down the hallway. It wasn't unusual for me to wake up and find him in bed with me. In fact, it was more often than not he ended up in my room.

I closed my eyes, trying to get the thoughts that had been flying through my mind out of my head so I could sleep. I couldn't help but wonder why Jasper was in San Francisco. I turned over, closing my eyes and thinking of my baby boy instead. Everything he did made me smile and part of me wanted him to stay that small forever. I wanted him to stay innocent. I never wanted him to know the pain of heartbreak. I didn't want him to go through the hurt that I had.

I must have drifted off to sleep because I was woken sometime later by something. I couldn't figure out what it was. I lay there for a moment, listening. Killian was curled up behind me but that wasn't new. It hadn't woken me up for a while, my body obviously used to the little intruder.

I sat up as I heard someone banging on the front door. I quickly looked down at Killian, seeing that he hadn't moved, not disturbed at all by the noise coming from downstairs.

I grabbed my robe, carefully getting out of bed, not wanting him to wake up as I quickly and quietly made my way out of the room, wanting to find out who the hell was banging on my front door at – I checked the clock in the living room as I walked downstairs – two am.

"Alright, alright, I'm coming." I muttered as I walked over to the door, opening the door, freezing as I saw the person standing on the other side of the door, looking extremely pissed. "What the hell do you want?"

. . . . . . . . . . .


	3. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer: Again, Stephenie Meyer owns the characters other than Anya and Killian.**  
_

**You guys are actually amazing. You're all trying to work everything out and a couple of you are right. The answer to the main question of 'what's the thing with Killian?', will be answered at the end of this chapter. Again, it might not be some of yours cup of tea (or drink of choice (never understood that phrase to be honest but there we go) but the story focuses on the _now_ rather than the _then_. Of course, there are going to be references to the past, but it's not the main focus of the story.**

**I've also noticed how a lot of you guys are more focused on why Anya calls Edward 'Rogers'. I thought that was quite funny myself and definitely not something I was expecting. In answer to that, yes his name is Edward Cullen, which Anya knows but 'Rogers' is just her nickname for him. The answer to why that name will come soon.**

**Update to Cold Comfort is up next.**

_I grabbed my robe, carefully getting out of bed, not wanting him to wake up as I quickly and quietly made my way out of the room, wanting to find out who the hell was banging on my front door at – I checked the clock in the living room as I walked downstairs – two am. _

"_Alright, alright, I'm coming." I muttered as I walked over to the door, opening the door, freezing as I saw the person standing on the other side of the door, looking extremely pissed. "What the hell do you want?"_

_. . . . . . . . . . ._

I glared at him and he stared straight back, his eyes not leaving mine as we stood there. I stepped to the side, blocking any view into the house, closing the door slightly in front of my body.

"Well, that's not really the welcome I was expecting." He scoffed and I snorted, rolling my eyes.

"Really?" I narrowed my eyes as I took in his appearance. He was still wearing the suit he had been wearing when I'd run into him earlier. He had his hands in his pockets, relaxed as he stood there. "What did you expect, huh, Jasper? What did you really expect?"

"We need to talk." He stated, completely ignoring my words and I chuckled, shaking my head, glaring at him.

"No."

Now it was his turn to roll his eyes, his expression becoming frustrated. "Look, we need to talk and I don't really want to do it standing here on your porch."

"So, let me get this straight." I leaned on the doorframe, still keeping the door mostly closed in front of me. "You come to _my_ house at two in the morning, demanding that we need to talk, even though we haven't actually seen each other in five years and you think I'm actually going to let you into my house? You've lost your mind."

"You don't think we need to clear some things up?" He stared at me, his expression set in stone. There was nothing there to indicate that he felt anything at all.

"I think you said everything you needed to say when you disappeared. Goodbye, Jasper." I closed the door, locking it quickly, leaning against it as I let out a shaky breath. I ran a hand through my hair, closing my eyes as I silently cursed myself. I moved off of the door, turning and looking through the peephole, seeing that he was still standing there. He was on his phone and I rolled my eyes, making my way back up the stairs, grateful that I hadn't turned the light on when I came down. At least he wouldn't know that I hadn't gone straight upstairs. I was able to see where I was going from the light from the streetlights outside.

I walked back into my room, smiling when, again from the lights outside I was able to see Killian curled up in the middle of the bed, his arm stretched out, his tiny fist clenching and unclenching as though he was trying to find me. As I walked around the bed, taking off my robe and throwing it over the rocking chair that I'd had in the corner.

I climbed back into bed, chuckling gently as Killian immediately curled up into my side. I pulled him close to me, letting out a sigh as he relaxed into me. I ran my fingers through his hair gently, wondering if Jasper was still standing outside. We lived on a relatively quiet street and I hadn't heard a car pull away. I hadn't seen one behind him but then again, I hadn't been too focused on his method of transportation.

I turned on my side, pulling my baby towards me as I closed my eyes as I pushed Jasper out of my mind again, knowing that I needed to get as much sleep as possible. Especially seeing as Anya had new clients coming in tomorrow and she had strong armed me into helping her prepare. Apparently they were quite high profile. She rarely asked for help with clients but I knew that if she was asking for it, it wasn't a plea made lightly.

. . . . . . . . .

"Daddy! Daddy! Wake up!" I groaned, rolling over onto my front, facing away from where I knew my little nightmare was bouncing on the bed. "Daddy!" He whined, nudging me and I smiled, burying my head in my pillow. "Time to get up, Daddy!" He flopped down on top of me and I moaned, feeling his elbows digging into my back. Who needed an alarm clock with a four year old around? "I know you awake, Daddy!"

"Yeah?" I smirked to myself before quickly turning over and grabbing him, revelling in his squeals as I tickled him, avoiding his kicking feet as he giggled. I pulled him to me, flopping back on the bed as he continued to giggle.

"Silly Daddy." He giggled and I hummed.

"Yes, silly Daddy." I mumbled and he tried squirming away from me. "No." I held him tighter and I knew he'd give up in a minute. This was a regular routine for us. "Stay with Daddy."

"Okay." He burrowed down slightly, covering himself with the comforter again and I smiled. My kid was so laid back. He was awesome.

It must have been about half an hour later when my actual alarm went off. Killian was sound asleep again which was normal.

"Come on, Peanut." I shook him gently, moving him off of my chest. He stirred and rolled over, copying my exact movement from earlier on. "Come on, up we get." I went to pull the comforter off, hissing as my hand throbbed from the coffee burn that happened yesterday.

It was swollen and throbbing and it didn't look good. I knew that I would probably have to go to the hospital to get it sorted out. And I knew that Anya was going to give me her famous 'I told you so' bitch brow.

After I showered, took a Percocet, a prescription I'd needed since an accident when I was seventeen. I didn't take them often, mostly when my back seized up and I couldn't move properly. I'd been taking it on and off since I was seventeen so I knew how much of it I could handle and I hoped that it would knock out some of the pain of my hand and got myself ready, mindful of my hand, I got started on the task of getting Killian ready for day care. I set out some clothes for him to wear, letting him get dressed on his own. He'd started becoming more independent and it hurt a little. He didn't need me to get him dressed anymore and I missed the little bonding we had. Well, I didn't miss chasing him around the house when he decided he didn't want his underwear on that day.

I smiled as I left him in his room, walking down into the kitchen. I made quick work or making some scrambled eggs for him, helping him up onto his booster seat as he rubbed his eyes. He grinned when he saw the plate in front of him. I put a small blob of ketchup off to the side of the eggs and he quickly devoured them, getting most of the food around his mouth.

I wiped his mouth off and told him to get his jacket and backpack while I loaded our plates up into the dishwasher. He ran back into the kitchen, his jacket and shoes on – again, the Velcro shoes – and grinned up at me.

I laughed, shaking my head as I steered him out of the door. He pouted again, like he normally did when I opened up the back door. I raised an eyebrow at him and he quickly complied, scrambling in and I strapped him in. When he was safely in the backseat, I closed the door and made my way back up to the house, making sure that the front door was locked before jogging back to the car and climbing in.

When we were moving, he was perfectly happy, chirping on about what his day care teacher said that they were doing today. All I really got was that there was going to be painting and I was glad that I made sure he always had a change of clothes at daycare.

He sat there, practically buzzing as I walked around the car and unstrapped him. He jumped out of the car and waited as I grabbed his backpack, kneeling down and linking his arms through the straps.

I stood up, holding out my hand and he grabbed it. I could see that he wanted to run off to see his friends but he wouldn't, knowing that he had to stay with me up until we were in his classroom. It was more to set my mind at ease more than anything else. I didn't like the idea that he was wandering around without holding my hand or another adults.

"Alright," I knelt down in front of him., running my fingers through his hair. Unfortunately, he had inherited my fucked up mess of hair. He made it work, though. "Be good for Miss Carson, okay?" He nodded, grinning and wrapping his arms around me.

"Love you, Daddy." He said softly and I smiled, hugging him back.

"Love you, Peanut." I pulled away from him and he giggled. I knew that moments like this wouldn't last much longer, so I would be taking as many of them as I could get. "Alright, go on." As soon as the words were out of my mouth he took off, straight towards his cubby and his friends. I chuckled, shaking my head as I stood up.

I nodded towards the other parents, exchanging greetings with several of them that looked as tired as I felt. I couldn't fault any of them for not being too talkative. Eight thirty on a Monday morning was not the best time of anyone's week, I'd wager.

As I walked out of the building, I pulled out my phone, dialling Anya.

"Rogers!" Uh-oh, someone was not happy this morning. "What's up?"

"How urgently do you need me this morning?" I asked and she sighed. I could practically hear her rolling her eyes at me.

"Clients not in till two and I know you don't have anything else urgent to work on this morning." Who needed a diary when I had Anya to tell me my schedule?

"I'm going to be in a little later today."

"Your hand?" How the fuck did she know this? I shook my head, not even bothering to wonder any more.

"Yeah. I told you if it wasn't better in the morning, then I'd go to the hospital and it's not better so I'm going, so you can wipe that look off your face." I smirked as she made a noise on the other end of the phone.

"How do you know what look I have on my face?" She asked and I laughed. "Wait, don't even bother to answer that. What time will you be in?"

"I don't know. I'm at Killain's day care at the moment and I'm going to head straight there. Depending on how long the wait is, I should be there about ten o'clock or so."

"Alright, well, I'm already in the office, so I'm going to start on the Hale file. I'll catch you up when you come in." Okay. We hung up and I climbed back into the car, avoiding eye contact with some of the mothers of the children here. Apparently, some women didn't really care about the fact that they were married or in long term relationships. Or they didn't care how their behaviour might affect the child that was standing next to them waiting to say goodbye before they spent the day away from their parents.

I couldn't understand those people.

Not that they have a chance anyway, no matter how much they tried.

Missing something vital, they were.

After arriving at the hospital, I had to wait for around forty five minutes before being seen. Filling out the forms had been interesting. I was still able to write but it fucking hurt and I was sure that my handwriting left something to be desired but I didn't care. All I wanted to do was find out if there was anything I could do to ease the throbbing of my hand and get into work. I was in with the doctor for about fifteen minutes before she quickly treated and wrapped it in a bandage, advising me to invest in some more before the end of the day before prescribing some codeine and some burn cream and sending me on my way. I expected as much and can't say that I wasn't too upset about the fact that I was in and out quite quickly.

I hated hospitals so I quickly made my way down to the pharmacy to have my script filled. I texted Anya, letting her know that I would be in shortly while I waited, relieved when it didn't take them long to call my name out.

"Yo, bro!" Anya laughed as I walked into the office fifteen minutes later, pharmacy bag in my hand. "My office, two minutes." I rolled my eyes, nodding at her. I made my way over to my office, greeting my assistant Bella as she relayed any messages I had.

"So, when are you bringing the Monkey round again?" She asked, making me a cup of coffee and I frowned at it before looking back down at my bandaged hand. I sighed, picking up the coffee with my free hand and she frowned at the bandage. I explained what had happened, leaving out the fact that it was my ex that I'd realised I was still in love with I'd run into. She gave me a sympathetic smile and I knew that she knew how I was feeling as she grabbed me a bottle of water from my small fridge and I took a drink, looking at the clock to judge what time I could take some of the painkillers the doctor had prescribed, not wanting to do myself any damage. "So?"

"After the devastation he caused last time, I'm not sure I will." I laughed and she giggled, her eyes glittering. I knew that she loved Killian, wanting to see him as much as possible. "Right, the dictator has called me."

"I heard that!"

I laughed, rolling my eyes. "You were meant to." Bella laughed, shaking her head. "Hold my calls unless it's urgent." She nodded and I grabbed my coffee and walked through to Anya's office.

"And he's finally here." She exaggerated her movements as though she'd been waiting on me for hours. I looked at my watch and saw that I'd only been a minute longer than she'd wanted me to be. I couldn't help but grin at her dramatics. She knew that she was being silly, shaking her head. "And what did the doctor say?"

"Cream, painkillers, bandage." I shrugged showing her my hand and she chuckled, shaking her head as she sat down. "How are you feeling?"

"Whoever called it morning sickness must have never been pregnant. All day sickness is more like it." She moaned and I nodded, knowing what she meant. "How did you cope with it?"

"Crackers and ginger ale." She scrunched up her nose. She hated ginger ale and I laughed, sitting down in the chair she'd pulled around her desk next to hers. "I know you hate it but it works."

"Anyway, enough talking about the icky stuff and let's get to it." She waved off the idea of ginger ale and I rolled my eyes.

We sat there, going over the papers that she'd had drawn up for the clients she had coming in at two o'clock. They were high profile, medical technology experts looking for legal representation and Anya was determined to make sure that she had everything gone over with a fine toothed comb when it came to their contracts.

I couldn't help but smile when I thought of our firm. WCJ Ltd was a combination of me, Anya and another lawyer called Jason Jenks. We each had our own specialities within the firm, though we all had a broad knowledge to help each other out with putting a case together and proof reading over what the others were working on. Anya was our resident corporate lawyer, dealing with businesses large and small, hence the fact that she was dealing with this business client and I was just there to make sure that nothing was missed. She was a perfectionist though, and I had a feeling that nothing I would be doing here would be any consequence at all and she would just wave me off at the end of it anyway. Jenks specialised in divorce. He and I had worked together on a few cases more than we worked with Anya on hers, considering I had specialised in family law. Some of the cases the both of us had had were messy. Not pleasant at all but they were all resolved with very little injury. The messy ones generally revolved around kids. It was never pleasant trying to sort out a custody hearing but you always had to put the welfare of the child first. Of course, the parents don't always agree with your opinions.

But it is what it is and there was no changing that.

It had worked for us for the last three years and we were all living comfortably.

"Hey," we looked up, seeing Jenks standing in the doorway. "Need any help?"

"Nah, Jase, I think we've got it covered. Thanks anyway." Anya smiled up at him. "Don't you have that lunch meeting to get to?"

"Yeah, but I'm trying to put it off for as long as possible." He moaned and we laughed. We knew that he didn't want to deal with the client he had a lunch meeting with. The woman was always trying to get into someone's pants – mostly his since she had discovered I was gay – not caring if her husband was sat there. Even though Jenks was clearly married, referencing his wife and child whenever he could, it didn't seem to put her off. We laughed about it as he sat there pouting, not caring for our jokes.

After making fun of Jenks until he left, grumbling about having no sympathy, we turned back to the files in front of us.

"I think we're all done." I sat back, smiling at Anya and she grinned. "So, when is Hale coming in?" I wondered when the man that we'd been combing through contracts for was arriving.

"Oh, Hale is the name of the company." She opened the file up again. How had that escaped my notice? I nodded, seeing that the name was indeed Hale Medical Services Ltd. "The CEO of said company, who will be arriving in the office in," she checked her watch, "twenty minutes is a Mr J A Whitlock."

My mouth went dry and I froze. "J A Whitlock?" I asked quietly and she nodded, looking confused. "Jasper Andrew Whitlock?" She scanned the pages of information we had on the CEO of the company and nodded again, looking up at me, still clearly confused. "That's Jasper." I whispered, closing my eyes, swallowing. "_The _Jasper."

"You're kidding me?" She snapped the file shut as though it was a poisonous snake that might bite her. "So that's _him_?" I nodded, leaning forward, running my hands through my hair and resting my elbows on the desk in front of me. What the hell was going on? Why was he popping up everywhere now? Why did he have to come to my house at two am and why did he have to choose _my_ law firm to represent him?

What the hell was going on?

"Anya," I looked up at him. "You can't let this blow this. He'll still be a valuable client and you can't let what happened between him and me affect that."

"I can't let it go." I looked at me with a hard glint in her eye.

"You have to. You really want to let it affect something you've worked so hard on? Think of what it could do for the firm." I tried to reason but she laughed, rolling her eyes.

"I care more about you than I do about the firm, Rogers." She shot back and I knew that I wasn't going to get anywhere trying to reason with her. "You really think I want to represent someone that hurt you so badly?"

"It doesn't matter what he did. It happened a long time ago. He's clearly over it and this is business. It shouldn't affect what happens in this office." I turned in my seat, facing her more. "I want you to promise me that you won't say anything or act any different to how you would with any other client." She huffed, crossing her arms across her chest and I sighed. "Promise me."

"Fine," she sighed, "I promise."

"Thank you." I whispered, standing up. "I can't be in here when he gets here. I don't want to see him again. I can't _handle_ seeing him again. Not without some kind of time to prepare."

"See, this is why I don't want to play nice with him." She stood up, gesturing towards me. "Look at how this is making you feel, Edward. He hurt you. He's still hurting you. I can't let that go."

"Well, then maybe you can say something about it in a social setting. But not when it comes to business." I reasoned and she huffed again.

I loved my friend and how loyal she was but she was so stubborn sometimes and I knew that it was going to get her into trouble at some point soon.

I left her office, letting Bella know that I was going to catch up on some paperwork and may need her assistance at some point soon. She nodded, smiling, asking if I wanted any more coffee.

"You had a call from James Harper at Volturi while you were in with Mrs Walker. He insisted you call him back right away." I smiled at the fact that even though she called me Edward, she insisted on calling Anya and Jason Mrs Walker and Mr Jenks.

I let out a silent moan, hating dealing with James Harper. The guy was insufferable, trying to cover for his boss's nephews almost every week. It kept my pockets lined but it was aggravating to say the least. They were always getting themselves into trouble.

At least I knew that it would keep me busy while Jasper and whoever else was with him was here. "Felix and Amun again?" I asked and she grinned at me, knowing that it would be. She hated dealing with James Harper as much as I did. He was one of those guys that thought that he was gods' gift to women, not caring what their relationship status was. He constantly came on to Bella, not caring for the giant diamond that decorated her ring finger on her left hand. She couldn't stand him and I knew that it was only a matter of time before she hit him. And I would be cheering her on from the sidelines. Being the daughter of a police chief, she knew how to handle herself and her fiancé, Alec and I wouldn't interfere if she decided to take James down.

He was a creep. Plain and simple.

I stiffened slightly as I heard the soft southern twang of Jasper's voice filter through the office lobby, floating through into the small office area that led through to my office.

I thanked Bella and quickly made my way into my office, closing the door, hoping that he hadn't seen me. I knew that Anya wouldn't give away the fact that I was here. She wouldn't make any mention of me but I still didn't want to risk being seen.

It only took Bella a few minutes to follow me into the office as I knew she would, a worried look on her face.

"What was that about?" She asked, standing in front of my desk. "Some history with one of the hotties?" She asked, a smirk on her face. The smile quickly vanished when she saw the look on my face. She sat down on the chair on the other side of my desk, reaching towards me. "What's wrong?"

"Well, let's put it this way. The blonde man out there?" She nodded, knowing who I was talking about. "He's the other half of my son's gene pool."

"What?"

Of course, Bella knew about how Killian had come into the world. Not everyone accepted the fact that there were some men out there – a miniscule percentage, mind you – that had the ability to get pregnant but I was one of them. And I had been when Jasper had left.

I even had the stretch marks to prove it.

"What are you going to do?" She asked and I shook my head, looking up at her.

"I don't know."

. . . . . . . . . . .


	4. Chapter 4

_**Disclaimer: Again, Stephenie Meyer owns the characters other than Anya and Killian.**_

_****_**Loving the reaction I'm getting for this story. All of you seem to love Killian and Anya, which _I_ love because the two of them are awesome. Don't you want the two of them to gang up and beat the crap out of Jasper? Well, I do. Might happen. Might not. You'll find out if it does.**

"_What are you going to do?" She asked and I shook my head, looking up at her._

"_I don't know."_

. . . . . . . . . . .

I kept myself busy as the afternoon wore on, packing my things up at just before five so that I could get Killian from the after day programme that his day care provided for parents that worked longer hours.

I smiled at the thought of my little boy, his life was so simple and he had nothing to worry about at the moment. All he had to worry about was what he was going to have for dinner and could he watch TV in the afternoon.

I wish life stayed that simple.

I walked out of the office, saying goodbye to Bella who smiled up at me as she packed up her things. I knew that she was eager to get home. It was her and Alec's date night and she was always eager to leave early on Monday's. Because they both worked a lot, Bella being here whenever I needed her and Alec as a surgeon at the California Pacific Medical Center. The both of them worked lot but made sure to have a date night once a week. The days weren't always the same, depending on Alec's hours but the majority of the time, it was on Monday nights.

I wished her a good night and made my way out to the car.

"Edward!" I stopped, hearing the voice behind me before turning around and seeing Jasper leaning against a black Mercedes. He smirked at me as I stood next to my car.

"What do you want?" I asked, hearing the weariness in my own voice, feeling absolutely exhausted at trying to deal with what he wanted.

"To talk." He walked over to me, stopping in front of me, a smirk on his face. "What excuse are you going to use this time?"

_That_ pissed me off. "Excuse? You turn up at my house at two am and you expect me to sit there and talk to you? You've lost your mind, Jasper." I spat, throwing my briefcase and jacket into the back of my car, making sure to block the view of the booster seat for Killian. I didn't want him to find out about him before I knew what he wanted from me. What he was doing here.

"It was the only time I could guarantee that you would be at home." He shrugged as though it was normal to invade people's sleep like that.

"Where did you get my address from in the first place?" I crossed my arms, leaning against my car, not taking my eyes away from his. They were still the same stormy blue I'd fallen in love with I had to fight to keep myself from giving in to them again.

"I have my ways." Again with the shrug. I chuckled darkly, shaking my head. "I wanted to find you. I hadn't heard from you in five years and then you're just . . . there."

"Well, whose fault is that?" I shot back and he looked taken aback at my tone. Did he think I was just going to roll over and let him try and blame me for the fact that he hadn't been there when I needed him.

"Look, fifteen minutes." His eyes were pleading and I looked at my watch, knowing that I had to pick up Killian.

"Fifteen minutes." I said with finality and he grinned at me, his dimples appearing as his eyes gleamed. There was something in his eyes that I couldn't place and I wasn't sure I liked it. He had to have had a reason for leaving me five years ago and I doubted that those reasons had changed. "Wait here." I pulled out my phone, stepping away from him as I called Jake. He was one of the ones that I had put on the list of people that were able to pick up Killian.

He agreed quickly, saying that he would be there in a couple of minutes. He demanded that he tell me what was going on and I promised him that I would when I saw him later. He reluctantly agreed and I hung up, walking slowly back over to Jasper.

"Coffee?" He asked, an unreadable look on his face and I saw that he was pocketing his phone. He must have been talking with someone else, letting them know that he was going to be late or something like that. Maybe it was the guy from the coffee shop on Saturday. I wasn't even sure why I cared anymore.

"Sure." I muttered, walking around to the driver's side of the car. "Eclipse Café. Separate cars." I didn't give him any choice as I climbed into the car and pulled out of the parking lot. I didn't look back to see if he was following me, knowing that if he really wanted to talk, he would be.

I cursed myself for my stupidity. How could I have agreed to have coffee with him? Part of me knew why. I wanted to know why he'd left me with nothing and no one, when I needed people around me. I needed the people I loved and being turned away without knowing why broke my heart even more than it had already been shattered.

I pulled outside the café and sat in the car for a moment, resting my head on the steering wheel before climbing out. I walked inside, not wanting him to see how much him just being in the same city as me again was rattling me. It wasn't my welfare I was interested in. I wanted to make sure that he didn't affect my son in any way. I knew that if he was here to stay, especially having taken Anya on as his corporate lawyer, I would have to tell him about Killian. I didn't want to risk him affecting my son in a negative way.

But how could any of this be anything positive.

After ordering my drink, I took a seat, pulling out my phone, seeing a text from Anya. She wanted to know what the hell I was thinking and if I was going to tell him about Killian. I bit my lip, replying that I wasn't exactly sure about what I was doing and I didn't know whether or not I was going to tell him about Killian.

I would judge from how he was today about whether he deserved to know about him. I know everyone says that they deserve to know about their children but those people had obviously never been put in the position to have to choose. They would say that I had to tell him but in my mind, I had to weight up the pros and cons of telling him about Killian and vice versa telling Killian about him.

He'd never made any indication that he wanted to know who his other father was. He knew that he didn't have a mommy, that he'd been 'inside my tummy' as I'd told him instead of a mommy's tummy like everyone else. He thought that he was special and I told him that he most definitely was. He hadn't asked about Jasper at all, not seeming interested in wanting to know anything about it.

Not wanting to disrupt his happy little world, I didn't bring him up, telling myself that when he asked about him, then I would tell him about his father.

But up till now there had been nothing.

"Nice little place." I looked up from my phone to see Jasper sitting down, placing his coffee in front of him before sitting back in the overstuffed chair of the café. "You come here often?"

"Sometimes." I replied, not wanting to get into anything too personal or hint at Killian.

"So," he picked up his coffee, sitting back in the chair again, "how have you been?"

I let out a breath, shaking my head. "Seriously?" I glared at him as he sat there, looking at me, confused. "Are we really going to do this? Sit here and act like things aren't completely fucked up between us? You really want to sit there and act like we're _old friends_ catching up?"

He looked down at his lap, clearly not expecting my words and I glared at him. What was he expecting? To sit here, have a coffee and a chat? Not a chance.

"What do you want, Jasper? What are you doing here?" He sighed, putting his cup down again.

"I wanted to see you again. I wanted to see if you'd changed at all." He shrugged and I felt myself getting angry.

"You wanted to see me again?" I spat out and he nodded, clearly not hearing my tone or at least ignoring it. "So, _you_ wanted to do this, not caring how it might affect me. You have no right to demand anything of me Jasper. You left me. You emptied our apartment of everything that was yours and you left. I had no way of contacting you and not only that but you took everyone I loved with you. I was left completely alone and I didn't know why."

"Oh, I'm sure you know why." He chuckled darkly and I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Excuse me?" I growled and he looked up at me, his eyes dark. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means I know, Edward." He sat there and stared at me while I looked at him, completely confused.

"Know what?" What the hell was he supposed to know that I didn't?

"You know, I wasn't planning on seeing you ever again but even after all this time, I thought that you might be able to tell me the truth." What? "And maybe even apologise."

"Apologise for what?" I put my coffee down on the table in front of me. I was starting to get pissed off now. He was hinting at something I was supposed to have done or kept from him and I had no idea what it was. Unless he knew about Killian and had done all this time and wanted me to come out and tell him right here.

"For fu-" He ran a hand through his hair, glaring at me. "I know about him, Edward." He _did_ know about Killian. "I know about that asshole you had going when we were together. I still just can't believe that I'd been stupid enough to believe that you loved me."

"What?" What the hell was he talking about?

"Don't even try to deny it, Edward. I saw you." He laughed, sounding slightly hysterical. "I saw you with him. On my birthday. In that fucking alleyway."

I felt the blood drain from my face and I started to feel sick. He had been there. He thought that I was cheating on him, that something was going with the man in the alley. He had been there the night I had almost died.

And he'd done nothing.

I took a deep breath. "I'm gonna be sick." I threw my hand over my mouth and rushed out of the shop and made my way towards my car. I placed my hands on the roof of my car, leaning over, taking deep breaths.

"What? Can't handle the fact that I've known all along?" He'd followed me outside, sounding really pissed. "Can't handle the fact that there was actually a reason for me to leave? That there was a reason no one wanted anything to do with you? Can't handle the fact that we've known all along that you're not the innocent victim you led everyone around here to believe you are?"

"What do you want, Jasper? Why are you here?"

"Why am I here? You want to know why I'm here? Because you destroyed me that night, Edward. It's because of you that I haven't been able to trust anyone properly in five years. It's because of you that your family is broken. You realise that they've all been worried about you, don't you?"

"If they really wanted to get in contact with me my phone number and email are still the same. They could have done so. They on the other hand, had changed everything. I tried calling them but I got the message that the numbers I was calling were no longer in service and any emails I sent bounced straight back with the message that the email address I was trying to send it to didn't exist." I stood up straight, glaring at him. He thought that he was justified in his actions of leaving me with nothing. He didn't know the half of it. "You're saying that all of this is my fault. Maybe if you hadn't jumped to conclusions then you would have known that I wasn't cheating on you. I didn't know the man in the alley. Yes, there was someone there but if you hadn't just decided that that was what was happening, you would have known that I ended in hospital that night. That I had to rely on a complete stranger to save my life."

"What the hell are you talking about?" He spat out, a flicker of doubt running across his face.

"Google it. It's all there." I spat out before climbing into my car and drying off. I felt myself shaking as I drove, making my way over to Jake's.

I glanced in my rearview mirror, seeing Jasper standing there, watching me drive away. I was glad that he hadn't started to follow me but I couldn't stop the tears from falling as I drove.

Jake answered the door almost immediately, his grin falling as soon as he saw me standing there. He stepped aside, letting me into the house to find my son.

"Daddy!" I knelt down, catching Killian as he launched himself at me, squeezing me tightly. He knew that I always picked him up from day care unless there was a really good reason, so he was probably really confused at the fact that Jake was there instead of me. He might love his Uncle Jake, but we had a routine and he didn't like to be strayed from that.

"Why you sad, Daddy?" He asked, wiping the tears off of my cheek, looking sadly at me.

I shrugged, shaking my head, not wanting to try and explain to him what had happened earlier on in the day. He probably wouldn't understand what was going on anyway. "Sometimes grownups are just sad, Peanut."

"Grownups are silly." He stated, full of conviction and I chuckled.

"Yeah, grownups are silly." I agreed and he leaned against me. I wrapped my arm around the backs of his legs and picked him up, settling him on my hip. He opened his legs, straddling my hip as he rested his head on my chest. I looked at Jake and Leah who were standing there watching the two of us. I tried to put Killian down so I could talk to the two of them alone but he wouldn't let go. He only held on tighter and I could see that he knew something was wrong. "He was there." I whispered and the two of them looked confused. "That night. He was there."

"What?" Jake went from confused to pissed in less than a second and I nodded, looking down at my little boy who now had his thumb in his mouth. He didn't usually suck his thumb, only when he needed some kind of comfort, so I let it go. "He was there?"

"He thought that it was . . . something it wasn't." I hinted and the two of them looked at each other clearly confused. "He thought that I was . . . you know . . . _with_ someone else." I didn't want to actually say it in front of Killian because I knew that he would parrot whatever was said around him in the form of a question. He was curious about anything and everything that was going on around him. Almost to the point where it pissed everyone around him off.

But of course, he was cute enough so that everyone went with it and told him whatever he wanted to know in ways he could understand. Either that or they used the age old sentence of 'you should ask your Dad', and sicking me with the hard questions.

Thankfully he hadn't asked me where babies came from yet. But with Leah getting close and Anya now expecting, I had a feeling that that question was not far off.

"So I'm guessing that Monkey wasn't mentioned?" Jake asked and I shook my head. "Are you going to tell him?"

"I don't know." I sighed, running my fingers through his hair gently. "If he continues to behave the way he did today, not a chance in hell. But Anya's taken him on at the firm," I held up a hand, silencing Jake, "she didn't know it was him until it was too late to back out of having him as a client. There's a chance that he's going to see Killian or someone's going to mention when he's around. I don't know what's better. Letting him find out on his own or actually telling him."

"You need to tell him, Ed." Leah urged and I nodded, knowing that I had to but just not wanting to.

Jasper had changed immensely since I last knew him. And from what I saw and heard earlier, he thought that I had cheated on him, so he blamed me. He said that he hadn't been able to trust anyone in the last five years and that that was my fault.

When essentially, by not trying to find out what was actually happening, he had left me to die.

And that was what wore on me more than anything.

"You're right." I sighed, looking down at Killian who looked up at me, his eyes wide and I couldn't stop the smile appearing on my lips. He was my entire world and I couldn't allow anything to happen to him. "I hate to ask but . . ."

"You don't have to." Leah said softly, smiling and nodding. Jake nodded, wrapping an arm around her as he watched me carefully.

I knelt down again, placing Killian in front of me. He refused to let me go and I had to pry his arms from around my neck. "Hey, Peanut. I need you to stay here for tonight, okay?" I said softly and he shook his head, launching himself at me again. "It's just for a little bit okay? Daddy has some things to do and I need you to stay with Jake and Leah, okay?"

"Why can't I come?" He looked up at me, his eyes wide and I wondered what had happened today to make him like this. Normally, while he was a child who loved contact with those close to him and would get as much of it as he could he was never clingy, understanding that when I had to go out, he had to stay with either Jake and Leah or Anya and Masen. I didn't want him around when I called Jasper. I knew that everyone was right. I had to tell him about Killian before he found out and shit hit the fan.

"Because this is grown up stuff. Don't worry, I'll come and get you later on but Leah and Jake are going to make you dinner, okay?" I asked and he pouted, looking down at the ground. "Hey, don't be sad."

"You leaving me?" He asked and I wondered what was going on. I looked up at Jake and Leah and the two of them nodded, walking out of the room. I sat down in front of him, not caring that I was sitting on the floor.

"What's the matter, Peanut?" I asked, trying to get him to look at me. He wouldn't look at me and I raised his chin up. "Hey, look at me." He reluctantly raised his eyes to meet mine. "What's the matter?"

"You gonna leave me?" He asked again and I felt my heart breaking.

"No, Peanut. Of course not. I just have to go out for a little while. Why do you think I would leave you?" I asked and his lip quivered. I pulled him close to me, trying to think of something that could have happened. "Tell me what happened?" He shook his head and I sighed. I pulled away from him, looking him in the eye. "Alright. I love you, you know that, right?" He sniffed, nodding and I nodded with him. "You . . ." I tapped a finger on his nose and he giggled gently. "Are the best thing in my life. I love you more than anything in the world."

"Love you too, Daddy." He said, wrapping his arms around me.

"I'll never leave you, baby." I whispered and he giggled as my breath hit his neck. I closed my eyes, pulling him tightly to me. Even though I didn't know what was wrong, what had happened, I knew that he would tell me what had happened at some point soon. "Right, I have to go out now. But I'll be back soon, okay, baby?" He nodded and I stood up as Jake and Leah walked into the room.

"You going?" Jake asked and I nodded.

"I'll be back later to pick him up." I assured them and they waved me off.

"Take your time, man." I nodded, leaning down and giving Killian an Eskimo kiss which made him giggle.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and hit Anya's number, hoping that she was still at the office.

"Hey, Rogers. Everything okay?"

"Kind of, um . . . I need a favour." She hummed, waiting for me to ask before she gave an actual answer. "Are you still at the office?" She answered that she was. "I need you to find me Jasper Whitlock's number." I sighed and I could practically hear her freeze. "He was there, An. He was across the street that night. He thought that I was cheating on him that night and . . ."

"You don't need to say anything more." Her voice was deadly and I was glad that I didn't have anything to be afraid of when she used that voice. I never planned on being on the receiving end of that voice. She rattled off his number and I put it into my phone while still on the line. Amazing what technology can do these days, huh?

We hung up and I drove back home, before I called Jasper, sitting in my car while I did it.

I dialled the number that Anya had given me and I let out a breath as the phone started ringing in my ear.

"Whitlock." He didn't sound happy.

"We need to talk." I made sure that my voice was strong, even though I felt anything but inside. I didn't say any kind of greeting which I was sure he'd probably be offended at. Manners were something that had always been important to Jasper. Unless that had changed as well. "My house, fifteen minutes. You don't turn up, don't bother me again."

I didn't give him any chance to answer before I hung up the phone and leaned back in my car. I wondered for a second if I was doing the right thing but I reasoned in my mind that I had to do this. I couldn't risk him finding out about Killian any other way.

I walked into the house, taking off my jacket and shoes, considering putting some of Killian's toys away. I decided against it, thinking about how I was telling Jasper about him anyway. If he saw things that belonged to Killian, then it might make it more real for him. Whether he would believe that Killian was actually his, I didn't know. It was one of the bad things about why Killian looked so much like me. If he looked a bit more like Jasper, it wouldn't be questionable.

There was a heavy knock on the door and I looked at my phone call log, seeing that it had been thirteen minutes since I called Jasper. I glanced through the peephole, seeing Jasper standing there, looking pissed.

I opened the door and his eyes darted up to mine.

"What the hell is all this about, Edward?" He snapped, shoving his hands in his pockets. There was someone else sitting in the car that I noticed, watching the two of us.

"You might want to come inside."

"As long as it's quick." He snarled, practically pushing past me into the house and I chuckled, closing the door. Never one for patience was Jasper.

I walked through into the living room, looking at the pictures of Killian and I that I had scattered around the room. "There's something we need to talk about. Well, actually, there's something I need to _tell_ you and it has nothing to do with what you threw at me earlier." He snorted, crossing his arms. "You left me, Jasper. You left me for no reason. Even though you think that you had a reason, you didn't. And what you don't realise is that at the time you left me . . . I was pregnant."

His eyes widened and I knew that being in the medical field, he knew about the chances of male pregnancy. It was clear that he hadn't actually come across it before but he'd heard of it. His eyes glanced towards the pictures I had on the walls and mantel piece. They were baby pictures of Killian and I smirked, seeing the wheels turning in his mind.

"Yes, Jasper. He's yours."

. . . . . . . . . .


	5. Chapter 5

___**Disclaimer: Again, Stephenie Meyer owns the characters other than Anya and Killian.**_

**Time for Jasper's reaction.**

**What does he have to say for himself?**

_His eyes widened and I knew that being in the medical field, he knew about the chances of male pregnancy. It was clear that he hadn't actually come across it before but he'd heard of it. His eyes glanced towards the pictures I had on the walls and mantel piece. They were baby pictures of Killian and I smirked, seeing the wheels turning in his mind._

"_Yes, Jasper. He's yours."_

_. . . . . . . . . ._

He stood there, staring at me, clearly digesting my words.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" He spat clearly not pleased with the words that had come out of my mouth. He was probably expecting me to come clean about what he thought. There was no way I was going to do that considering what he was accusing me of was complete nonsense.

"I'm talking about the fact that you're a father, Jasper." I replied, standing my ground, crossing my arms across my chest. "You're a father to a little boy."

"Yeah right." He laughed and I raised an eyebrow at him. "What the hell is this, Edward? What? Don't like the fact that I've known what you did for the last five years that you're trying to pull this shit on me? What are you after? My money? Let me guess, you think that because I left you, you want to get your hands on some of my money."

I barked out a laugh. "You're kidding me, right? You think too highly of yourself, Jasper. Let me put it this way: if it was your money I was after, there was nothing that could have stopped me when I found out that I was expecting. If it was just your money I was after, I would have come after you years ago. The reason I am telling you now, is because my friends and people that know about you being his father believed it was the best thing for me to do. But now, I'm wishing that I had just kept it to myself. Because from what I can see, there is nothing that you can give my son but misery."

"I want a DNA." He bit out and I chuckled, shaking my head. "And not a saliva swab, either."

"Not a chance." I shook my head, not backing down on that one. "If you want a DNA, you can do it my way or not at all. I am not subjecting my son to anything that's going to hurt or upset him. You're in no position to demand anything, Jasper. I don't want anything from you, I don't need anything from you. I just thought that you should know about him. Now that that's done, you're free to do whatever you want."

"You think that you can just drop that on me and that's it?" He scoffed, shaking his head. "No, I'm not going anywhere. You had no right to keep him from me, Edward."

"No right? You think I had no right to keep him from you? Well, alright then, tell me this, how the fuck was I supposed to tell you about him when you disappear. You left Jasper and there was no way for me to contact you in any way. You changed your number, you changed your email, your family wouldn't talk to me, hell _my_ family wouldn't talk to me. You left and they followed. I was left completely alone at a time when I needed my family. Because of you."

"No, they left because they didn't understand what you did-"

"What? You told them that I cheated on you?!" I was pissed and I felt my lip curling into a sneer. "That's what you think, isn't it? You think I cheated on you? Jasper, I loved you more than I thought I could ever love anyone. There is no way in hell that I could ever cheat on you and if you hadn't jumped to fucking conclusions that night, you would have known that."

"How could I-"

"I'm not done!" I growled and he stopped, glaring at me. "You want to know what was actually happening when you stood there, watching? Do you?" He glared at me again, nodding once. I laughed, running a hand through my hair. "Well, you remember that there was that guy going around killing men at that point?" It was a rhetorical question so I didn't wait for him to give me an answer. "Well, up till that point, he'd killed nine men. And that night that you _saw_ me in the alleyway with that man, he was trying to make me number ten. What you saw was not me cheating on you. What you saw was someone trying to kill me. And you walked away."

By the time I had finished speaking, Jasper had gone pale. Apparently my words had sunk in and he was actually listening to me now. Maybe it would dawn on him that I had nearly died and he could have stopped it. If he hadn't jumped to conclusions, there was a chance that we could have been together now, rather than standing here, at each other's throats.

"You made a choice that night, Jasper. You made the choice to walk away. A choice that could have gotten me killed. It's only because of two strangers who now happen to be my best friends, that I'm still alive. If it wasn't for them, I would be six feet under right now." I let out a laugh. "And to think, I was actually planning on telling you what the doctor had told me that night. Instead, I end up in the hospital, trying to call you, call my family and finding that no one was picking up. And then when I get home the next day, I find practically all of your stuff gone." I levelled a glare at him and he stared back at me. I knew I was throwing some heavy stuff at him but he needed to understand that I had not done anything wrong. "Now, I'm telling you to walk away. Killian doesn't need any upset in his life and that's all you're going to bring him. Walk away."

"What?" The glare was back and I responded with one of my own. "You think I'm just going to walk away from my son when I've only just found out about him. Not a chance in hell. I'm not letting you take him away from me again."

"Again?" Who the hell was this guy? This was not the man I had fallen in love with. I didn't know this man and I didn't trust him around my little boy. "I didn't take him away from you in the first place! You. Left. Me! You left me with no explanation and no way to contact you. How the hell was I supposed to tell you? National broadcast? You fucking delusional, Jasper and to be honest, the way you're being right now, I don't think I want you anywhere near my son."

"So he's just your son?" He scoffed, shaking his head and I smirked.

"In the eyes of the law, yes, he is." He looked at me, confused and I laughed. "You're not on his birth certificate, Jasper."

"What?"

"You're not on his birth certificate." I shrugged and I could see the tips of his ears turning pink. "You have no claim on him."

"That doesn't matter." He shrugged my words off, smirking and I wondered what was going through his mind. "You think I'm just going to leave? Not a chance in hell. I'm not going to just go away like you want me to. I'm going to make sure that I can see him. I want my son." He turned, starting to walk over to the door.

"What are you going to do, Jasper?" I shook my head as he turned around. "I'm a lawyer. I specialise in family law. I know everything there is to know about this."

"Look, I don't want to go through the courts, Edward." He sighed, looking even more pissed off than before. "But I _will_ be seeing my son."

"Not with that attitude you're not." There was no way I was budging on this. "You really think that you can act like that and that a four year old is not going to be frightened of you? He's a very sensitive child, aware of everything that happens around him and there is no way that I am letting you near him when you're behaving like this. Sort out your attitude and we can discuss it. Not before then."

"You don't have the right to do that." He snarled and I smirked at him. "I told you I don't want to go to court over this but I will if I have-"

"Really? What do you think the courts are going to say when I tell them that you actually _saw_ me being attacked – an attack that, if it hadn't been for two complete strangers, would have left me dead – and walked away, completely disappearing from my life while I was recovering from said attack and pregnant at the same time. What do you think they'll say when I tell them that there was no way I could get in contact with you or anyone in my family for years and then you turn up in my life making demands when I told you about Killian, being aggressive and bordering on abusive? What do you think they're going to say to that?" It was a low blow but if making Jasper out to be the bad guy meant that Killian didn't have to bear the brunt of his anger. If he was going to be this way, I didn't want him anywhere near my son.

"You can't do that?"

"Actually, yes I can, because it's all true." I stepped towards him, not breaking eye contact and keeping my arms crossed. "He is _my_ son and _I_ will be deciding at what pace we will be progressing. We will not be introducing you as his father straight away. It'll be too confusing for him. Apart from the fact that he hasn't asked anything about you at all."

"What do you mean?" He asked, looking slightly shocked.

"He hasn't asked about you. He hasn't mentioned you at all. Absolutely nothing. I've thought about bringing you up to him but then I decided that if he wanted to know about you, he would ask. He knows he doesn't have a mom like everyone else. He knows he has two dads but other than that, he hasn't really indicated that he wants anything to do with you." I shrugged and his jaw dropped open. "Like I said, we will be doing this _my_ way. He doesn't know you. You mean nothing to him."

"Well, maybe you could have made sure that I did."

"Really?" I scoffed, shaking my head. This man really had no idea how to handle a child, did he? "So, you would have disrupted his life for a man there was no guarantee he would ever meet? Because that's the truth Jasper and I'm not ashamed of it. I won't deny that if you hadn't turned up at that coffee shop and practically forced yourself back into my life, you probably wouldn't know about him. And probably wouldn't unless he decided he wanted to know you." The look on his face would have made me laugh if this wasn't so serious. "I have your number and when _I_ feel that you're in the right frame of mind to see Killian, then we can talk about it. But not before."

"You can't jus-"

"Yes, I can." I cut him off and he looked pissed. "I don't you anymore, Jasper. But what I do know is that I don't like who you've become. You might be used to getting your own way now but I can tell you it will not be happening your way in this case. I don't care who you are when you're at work, that doesn't matter to me but if and when I decide to let you around Killian, I need to know that he's safe."

"You really think that I'd hurt him."

"Not physically maybe but there's no telling what he could pick up on. Like I said, he's a sensitive child and he absorbs everything that happens around him." He scowled at me, probably noting from my posture that this was all non-negotiable. "Oh, and I'd wear a cup around your new corporate lawyer."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Confusion flitted over his features and I smirked and I turned, grabbing a picture of Anya and Killian. It happened to be one of my favourite pictures. I held it up for him to see and his eyes flicked to the picture.

"She look familiar?" His eyes hardened and I took that as a yes. "Like I said, don't piss her off. She's pretty attached to my little boy."

"Whatever," he huffed, turning on his heel and yanking the door open. "I'll be in touch."

I didn't doubt that.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

"So, wait? He just stormed out and said 'I'll be in touch'?" Jake laughed and I nodded, smiling as I dug into my pot of ice cream as he devoured his.

"Ooh, sounds dangerous." Anya giggled, sitting there with her own pot.

Jake, Leah, Anya and Masen had decided to invade my home the night after my confrontation with Jasper. Thankfully, he hadn't contacted me today, like I thought he might do but then again, it was still early days yet. I didn't think that he would back down. He'd really changed and I didn't know or like who he had become. If he thought that I had cheated on him and that caused the drastic change in him, then he really only had himself to blame. If he hadn't walked away. If he hadn't left, he would have found out what was actually going on.

I pushed thoughts of him out of my mind, not wanting to bring down the tone of the evening. Masen and Anya had told Jake and Leah that they were expecting and the two women had squealed an ear-splitting squeal that even made Killian cover his ears. We all laughed at his reaction.

He had his own small bowl of ice cream taken from my pot. It seems he took after me in his favourite being cookie dough ice cream. We didn't have it often and it was a treat he was not going to pass up on. Although he did end up getting more of it _around_ his mouth rather than _in_ his mouth.

But then again, he wouldn't be as adorable as he was if he was neat and tidy.

I knew that when he crawled up onto the sofa and curled up into my side, his eyes drooping that I knew it was time to put him down. "Alright," I leaned forward, placing my ice cream on the coffee table and pulling him onto my lap, holding him around his back and under his legs as I stood up. "It's someone's bedtime." He protested weakly and I chuckled, walking out of the room as the others called goodnight to him.

I knew that he was tired because he didn't put up the fight that he normally did when I was trying to get him into bed. He was sat there, blinking at me sleepily, holding up his arms as I put his pyjama top on. I picked him up, pulling his comforter down and settling him under the covers, tucking him in. He curled up on his side, smiling at me as I knelt down next to him.

"Baby star." He mumbled sleepily, his eyes already closed.

"Okay," I whispered, softly saying the poem. He was asleep before I'd finished and I smiled to myself, watching him. I leaned forward, kissing his forehead gently. "Love you, Peanut." I whispered, walking around his bed, turning on his nightlight and leaving the door slightly open, just as I always did.

There was a knock on the door and I called down for one of the others to answer it as I made my way into my bedroom, getting ready for bed. I knew that they wouldn't be here for much longer and I figured that while I was up here, I might as well get changed.

I frowned as I heard raised voices from downstairs, one of them extremely familiar and I took a deep breath as I pulled on my pants before walking downstairs. I checked in on Killian, seeing that the argument that I could hear rising in volume hadn't disturbed him. I had to end this before it did.

I walked down the stairs to see Anya standing there, looking extremely pissed before she looked up at me. She glanced to the door and I saw Masen standing in front of it, the same way that I had been standing when Jasper came to the house. The voice I heard from the other side was female, so I knew it wasn't Jasper but I had heard that voice nearly every day for twenty four years before she disappeared so I knew exactly who it was.

"Masen," I called and he turned to look at me, his expression the same as his wife. I pulled on my slippers, which yes, were fluffy slippers that probably didn't fit the tone of the moment but I really didn't care. They were comfortable and that's what I was going for when I bought them.

He turned to Anya, leaving the door unblocked. Jake was standing behind it so it didn't open any further should someone push it from the outside.

I walked over to the door, placing the lock on the catch so I could open it again before looking at the person on the other side of the door. She looked the same as she always had. Tall, her blonde hair in loose curled, ice blue eyes that she got from our father, glaring at me as I stepped outside and stood in front of her, closing the door.

"What do you want, Rosalie?" I asked, crossing my arms across my chest, staring back at her. My sister knew and hated the fact that she couldn't intimidate me. Everyone else she came into contact with – apart from my friends, apparently – was intimidated by her beauty. She was a beautiful woman and she knew it. It was something she'd played on all her life. But it didn't work with me.

And she knew it.

"I heard I have a nephew." She stated, mimicking my stance.

"And let me guess where you heard that." I smirked, rolling my eyes. "Jasper." I let out a laugh, shaking my head. "I don't care what you've heard Rosalie. What do you want?"

"To find out if it's true."

"What does it matter if it is?" I shrugged, staring at her. "Even if it is, you're not getting anywhere near him." Her expression turned to a sneer and I internally smirked again but kept my expression schooled. "I'm going to tell you exactly what I told Jasper when he turned up at my door in the middle of the night, which, is _not_ appreciated by the way. "You all said everything you needed to say when you disappeared. You made yourselves clear when you all deserted me when I needed you the most. Now, I am not talking about this with you. You want to know what actually happened the night Jasper claimed to have seen me cheating on him – yes, he mentioned that and it's bullshit and if you actually really knew me like I thought you did, you would know that. You want to find out what really happened, you can ask Jasper, because he now knows exactly what happened. Now, if you don't mind, get off my property."

I turned and pushed the door open, closing it behind me, locking the door as I leaned my head back onto it.

I opened my eyes to see the four of them watching me.

"Who was that?" Anya asked, her eyes narrowed as she watched door as though my sister was going to somehow force her way through it. Though to be fair, it wouldn't surprise me.

"My sister, who apparently, still talks to Jasper." I sighed, walking back through to the living room and grabbing what was left of my ice cream. I found that it had melted slightly but it didn't seem to have been attacked by any of the others.

"What the hell was she doing here?" Jake asked, sitting down on the other sofa next to Leah, wrapping an arm around her. Masen sat down in the chair that Anya had been sitting on while she sat down next to me, rubbing my arm gently.

"She said that she heard she had a nephew." I shrugged and they raised their eyebrows at me. It was actually a funny sight, seeing all of them sitting there with the same expression on their faces. "I told her that she wasn't getting anywhere near him. Don't worry, I will be having words with Jasper about this. He had to have known that she was going to come here. He's not stupid."

"Don't worry." Anya sighed, resting her head on the back of the sofa. "It'll be okay, Rogers."

"Okay," we all looked at Jake who was sitting there looking confused. "Off topic but something I want to know. I know I've known you, what? Three years?" I nodded, wondering what he was talking about. "Why is it I've never found out why she calls you Rogers?"

I looked at Anya, who looked right back and we both laughed. Masen was grinning as well as the other two were looking at the three of us like we'd lost our minds. We probably had.

"Someone going to explain?" He asked and we all laughed again.

"Alright," I chuckled, shaking my head. "It was about a month after the three of us had moved here from Seattle and Anya and I were, doing what we're doing now, sitting around eating ice cream."

"To be fair, you weren't up for anything more active." She giggled and I glared at her before nodding along. I wasn't really in a position to be out and about at that point in time. She looked at Jake, grinning. "He was _huge_." My mouth dropped open and she rolled her eyes. "You can't argue. You were about to pop."

"As I recall, I _did_ two days later." I laughed and she nodded, giggling.

_Four Years, Eight Months Earlier_

_Anya's eyes were wide as the baby pushed against her hand. She loved to sit there, her hand on my belly, waiting for the baby to move. I didn't mind when she did it because I knew that she had fallen in love with the baby before he'd even been born._

_It was when strangers did it that it pissed me off._

_It's like your belly suddenly became public property._

_I shifted, pushing on the top of my belly slightly trying to get him to move to no avail. He was in a comfortable position and wasn't going to move._

"_You okay?" Anya asked, pulling two tubs of ice cream out of the shopping bag before disappearing and getting some spoons for the both of us._

"_Yeah," I shifted again, seeing if it would help. "He's just got his foot wedged under my ribs again."_

"_Aw," she pouted, rubbing the spot she knew he was._

"_It's alright, he'll shift again soon enough."_

"_Yeah, but he'll make you miserable in the meantime."_

"_We'll there's not much I can do about that now is there. It's like when he decides to take a drop kick to one of my kidneys. He does what he wants to in there." I gently scraped my nails over my bump, wincing as he moved again. It seemed like he was stretching out, his foot pushing up even more. "I think he's trying to break my rib." I chuckled and she laughed again, settling next to me, rubbing her hand over the point where he was._

"_He still moving a lot?" She asked and I nodded, smiling at her as I dug into my ice cream._

"_Yup. According to my doctor that's a good thing. The fact that he's still moving so much means that he's okay." She hummed, nodding as she ate a spoonful of her own ice cream._

"_Just think, in a couple of weeks, you're gonna have a baby!" She grinned, almost squealing and I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face as I rested my hand on my belly. "You scared?"_

"_Fucking terrified." I laughed, looking over at her. She raised an eyebrow at me and I shrugged. "Yeah, even though he's taken to kicking me to pieces from the inside out and I'm pretty sure that my kidneys won't function properly from the beating, while he's in there . . . I know that he's safe. I know that nothing can hurt him in there."_

_She hummed again, resting her hand above mine. "He'll be fine." I nodded, knowing that he would. "Okay, let's bring some life back into this night." She grinned, pushing herself off of the sofa and moving over to the DVD player._

_I laughed when the title screen for 'The Gay Divorce' appeared on the screen and knew that only Anya would think that, ice cream, Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers was a good way to spend a Friday evening._

_We spent the next hour and a half singing along to the songs we both knew the lyrics to, laughing at each other when they messed up. The slightly embarrassing thing was that I knew more of Ginger Rogers' lines than I did Fred Astaire's._

"_Oh my God, you're the guy Ginger." She giggled and I wondered if she'd had liqueur ice cream rather than the normal kind. "Wanna dance, Rogers?"_

"_I don't think I could get up right now, let alone dance." I laughed and she giggled, leaning against me._

"_Alright, Rogers," she winked and I rolled my eyes at her. "I guess I'll let you off until the little ones' here."_

"_Thank you." I rolled my eyes again and she ended up giggling again. I swear she was drunk. Maybe she'd switched her soda with something harder. Well, it wasn't like I could lean forward on my own to check._

_I sat there, running my fingers over my bump, Anya sitting next to me, doing the same thing, our hands sometimes brushing against each other and I knew in that moment that I'd be okay._

We'd _be okay._

_. . . . . . . . . . . ._

**So now you know where 'Rogers' came from. Was it what you thought it was going to be? Let me know what you think?**


	6. Chapter 6

___**Disclaimer: Again, Stephenie Meyer owns the characters other than Anya and Killian**_

**Just to clear a few things up, in case any of you were a little confused - cause I know, I've been confusing myself with timings and all of that stuff (not so good with dates) here's a little timeline for you.**

**September 2007 - Edward finds out he's pregnant/gets attacked/Jasper leaves**

**December 2007 - Edward, Anya and Masen move to San Francisco.**

**January 2008 - Killian born**

**September 2012 - Jasper arrives in San Francisco.**

**I know that the dates are vague but they'll be expanded upon as the story progresses. Just wanted an basic outline for you guys.**

**Now, I'm going to warn you right now, this one is a tearjerker. You might want to grab some tissues. There are a few answers in here but also, unfortunately, more questions. Sorry bout that but it is what it is.**

**So, you might want to grab your tissues now. I know I needed some while I was writing it but that might be the hormones making themselves known. Probably. Maybe. I'm not quite sure. Just go grab some.**

"So the name came from the fact that you were singing along to Ginger Rogers' lyrics in a nineteen thirties film?" Leah asked, laughing and the two of us nodded. She grinned at me and I rolled my eyes.

"I still blame you for the fact that Killian was born three weeks early." I shrugged and she glared at me. I smirked at her and she rolled her eyes at me. "What? It was your idea that we have curry and go out for a walk."

"Okay, there is no proven fact that those actually work." She pointed her spoon at me and I rolled my eyes.

"Well, they obviously did for me."

"Maybe he was just ready to come out."

"He wasn't due for another three weeks!"

"Babies will come when they want to."

"Whatever, it's still your fault."

"Is not!"

"Yes, it is!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Alright!" We both looked over at Masen who was trying not to laugh at us. "Let's just say that Killian was ready to come out but Anya's little plan made it happen sooner, okay?"

"No!"

"What, are you stupid?"

He looked at the two of us with a look that told us he was not amused and to cut it out. We both stuck our tongues out at him and he rolled his eyes muttering something about Killian being more grown up than the two of us.

He might have a point.

I smiled at the thought of when Killian was born. Not that the pain and fear of being in labour was the funnest thing in the world but that was beside the point.

"Is it just me or is this really entertaining?" We both glared at Jake and he held his hands up, sitting back on the sofa. "Alright, I take it back."

"Good." We both nodded before laughing and I let out a sigh, glancing up the stairs towards where I knew Killian was sound asleep.

It wasn't long before they all left. Leah was going into her seventh month and was wearing out pretty quickly so Jake didn't want to keep her up too long. I could see that she was getting tired. Anya was tired as well, suffering from the fatigue that often came with the first trimester. I could see that Masen was overjoyed at the thought of being a father. He sat with his hand on her stomach lightly, kissing her gently whenever he could.

I felt my smile drop slightly as I thought about how I hadn't been able to have that when I was expecting Killian. I wouldn't change anything about expecting and having Killian but it would have been nice to share it with someone like Leah and Anya were able to.

That was the only thing I felt like I'd missed out on.

I closed the door after them, quickly setting the alarm and making sure everything was locked up before making my way upstairs. He opened the door to Killian's room, peeking in a little, smiling when I saw him curled up with Rabbit, a green stuffed rabbit that Anya had bought for him when he was a baby.

I left him, walking down to hallway to my room, quickly changing before climbing into bed. I let out a sigh as I closed my eyes, pushing the thoughts of Jasper and what we could have had out of my head so that I could try and get some sleep.

Not sure it would work but I had to try, right?

. . . . . . . . . .

"Okay, Mr Molina, I'll try and get that sorted as soon as possible." I sighed, running a hand through my hair as there was a knock on my door. Bella stuck her head around the door and I waved her in. She gave me a grin, winking at me and I glared at her, trying to get the pissed off father off the phone.

His ex-wife was a 'reformed' junkie and she was trying to gain visiting rights to their daughters even though she'd had absolutely nothing to do with them for the last three years. He didn't feel that she was being honest and feared for the safety of his daughters. I didn't know what to do to assuage his fears until the court date.

I hung up with him, sighing as Bella sat down in front of me. "Everything alright?" I asked and she nodded.

"Yeah, I just wanted to let you know that Anya left to get Killian," she grinned and I rolled my eyes knowing that I was going to have to deal with a grumpy little boy in the morning. Heading round to Anya and Masen's house always meant that he got whatever he wanted and generally that meant sugar. He'd have an enormous sugar rush and then crash before waking up grumpy and extremely hard work the next morning.

And it was me that had to deal with that.

"Head home, there's nothing more that you can do right now and you're just going to stress yourself out." She had a point but the concept of leaving work at the office still wasn't something that I hadn't mastered yet. Especially when I didn't have Killian.

I nodded and she raised an eyebrow, sitting there until I had packed up all of my stuff. I chuckled as she followed me out of the room, closing the door behind me. Tonight, Anya and Masen were keeping Killian overnight and I wasn't looking forward to not having him there will me. It would only be the second night in his entire life that we had been apart and it wasn't something I wanted to get into a routine with.

Masen had noticed that I was more keyed up than usual when it came to a case being close to a resolution. He was right.

It had been three weeks since I'd heard from Jasper and part of me couldn't help but wonder what he was up to. He had been so adamant about seeing Killian when I'd seen him last and then there was nothing after Rosalie had shown up at my doorstep.

Maybe he knew that I would be pissed and was avoiding another showdown.

I was stressing myself out thinking about it and everyone was noticing. Even Killian. I didn't want any of this to affect him and yet I couldn't hide it from him no matter how hard I tried.

Damn the perceptions of a child.

They're too smart for their own good.

Sitting at home with a glass of wine, flicking through the TV channels I couldn't help but long for the noise that Killian made as he went about his nightly routine. Of course, much of that revolved around me chasing him but that was half the fun of it. I wasn't looking forward to the day that he stopped doing that and insisted on doing things for himself.

Unfortunately, I knew it would come all too soon.

A knock on the door drew me out of my thoughts and I put my glass of wine and the remote down on the coffee table before heading over to answer it. I stepped back slightly, surprised when I saw Jasper standing on the other side of the door. He looked up at me and I had to admit, he looked like shit.

What the hell?

"I, um, I know you said you needed time but-"

"What are you doing here, Jasper?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"I need to talk to you." His voice was so soft, it was barely above a whisper as he looked up at me. "I know that you said you wanted to wait before anything happened and that's why I came over when I knew that Killian wasn't here-"

"How did you know that Killian wasn't here?" I asked, standing up straighter.

"I was in the office and had to drop some papers off to Mrs Walker," it was strange hearing someone call her that. Even her clients generally called her Anya but I quickly realised that she must have told him to call her Mrs Walker, "and I overheard her talking to your assistant about taking him for the night. I . . . I knew that I had to talk to you. It wasn't something I could come into the office and talk to you about and I don't want to upset Killian, so . . ."

"Alright." I sighed, stepping back and opening the door slightly. He looked at me, surprised and I chuckled, shaking my head. "You think I'm going to make you stand outside all night?"

"I'd deserve it." He whispered and I don't think I was supposed to hear it. If that was the case, I didn't comment on it.

I led him through to the living room and he stopped by the sofa. "You want anything to drink? Wine, maybe?" I let out a nervous chuckle and he gave me a small smile.

"Please." He whispered and I nodded walking into the kitchen and grabbing another glass and the wine out of the fridge. I took both into the living room, filling up his glass and topping up mine, handing him the glass while sitting back on the sofa while he took the chair. The whole time I couldn't help but think '_what the hell am I doing?'_

"So . . . why are you here, Jasper?"

He took a large gulp of his wine before sitting back in the chair. I noticed that he'd taken his jacket off, hanging it over the back of the chair. "I just . . ." he took a deep breath before looking up at me, tears shining in his eyes. "I'm so sorry."

"For what?"

"Everything." He took a shaky breath, running a hand through his hair. "I'm so sorry for everything, Edward. I. . ." I didn't say anything, watching him closely. "I . . . when you told me that had happened . . . that night . . . part of me didn't believe it was true."

"You thought I was making it up?" I took a gulp of my wine, shaking my head.

"No," he looked up at me, panic on his face. "No, that didn't come out right. I just . . . it didn't sink in, you know? Until the next day. I woke up and thought about what you'd said . . . and then . . . I looked it up and even though you weren't mentioned by name . . . God."

"I didn't want my name mentioned." I said softly, looking away from him.

"When I read the articles they had on the internet . . . I just knew and . . . I felt . . ." he looked up at me, anguish on his face and I sighed, drinking the rest of my wine. I knew I should keep a clear head for this but this talk called for alcohol. "I threw up." He let out a nervous chuckle, running a hand through his hair again. "And then I thought about what you told me." He looked up at me again, tears running down his face. "About Killian." His voice had dropped again, a mere whisper but there was nothing but silence allowing me to hear him. "And I got to thinking about how I could have lost the both of you and . . ."

"You threw up again?" I asked, trying to make a smile and he nodded.

"I'm so sorry I left, Edward. I just . . . when I saw you that night, I . . . you were right. I jumped to conclusions and because of that I'll never be able to make it up to you. But I'm going to try. When I saw you that night it was like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. I wasn't planning on moving out, I swear I wasn't. I just needed to calm down and I know now that I should have spoken to you about it. I turned my phone off, not wanting to talk to anyone and . . . it was Rose that found me in the hotel room that night. I told her what I'd seen . . . or what I thought I saw and she . . ."

"Persuaded you not to go home." I said softly and he nodded.

I downed the rest of my wine placing my glass on the table.

He sniffed, downing the rest of his glass and placing it on the table in front of him. "At first I was kind of grateful that she let me stay at her place. Every time I thought about you it felt like my heart was being ripped to pieces and my chest was about to explode so I didn't think I could be . . ."

"Didn't think you could be around me?" He nodded, not looking at me.

"It hurt too much. And then . . . your parents . . ." Now _that_ got my attention.

"My parents?" He looked at me, a look of confusion on his face. "What about my parents?"

"What?"

"Jasper," I took a deep breath, not looking away from him, not breaking eye contact with him, "what happened to my parents?"

"I thought . . . you don't know?" His voice trembled as fresh tears ran down his face. I felt my eyes welling up as I looked at him.

"Jasper." My voice was sharp and he sniffed, shaking his head.

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I . . . there was an accident." My hands moved to my mouth as he spoke.

"What happened?"

"It was when they were on their way back from that cruise we sent them on for their anniversary. You remember?" I nodded. It was my parents thirtieth anniversary and Jasper and I had sent them on a month long cruise that would take them up around Alaska and up to Canada. "They um . . . they were on their way back when they were hit by another car. They'd taken some back roads rather than using the main highway and um . . . there were some kids that had gotten their hands on their parents cars. They were racing and one of them lost control of the car at a cross section."

"Oh god," the whimper left me before I could stop it and it was like someone was sitting on my chest. "Jasper, what happened? Please, what happened?"

He looked up at me, his face streaked with tears, devastation in his eyes. "I'm so sorry." I knew with those words and his expression that it wasn't a good outcome. "They didn't make."

I didn't even try and stop the sob that flew from me. I buried my head in my hands, letting the sobs wrack through me as the weight of his words settled on my shoulders. I felt his arm wrap around my shoulders and allowed myself to be pulled to him as his arms wrapped themselves around me. He was whispering in my ear. He kept saying that he was sorry over and over again.

"Why?" I looked up at him. "Why wasn't I told?" My eyes met his and all I saw was pain. "Why did no one tell me?"

"Rose told me that she'd told you." He said softly, sniffing. "She told me that she'd called you and told you."

"Well, she lied." I snapped, pulling my sweater sleeves down and wiping my eyes. It didn't stem the flow of tears that were running down my cheeks. "I haven't spoken to Rose since the day my parents left."

"God," he whispered, running his hand through his hair again. He rested his cheek on top of my head. I could feel his tears dampening my hair as they fell. "Well, she's out of a job."

"What?" I sniffed, looked up at him.

"She's my PA. Well, she _was_." He looked down at me, his lip quivering and I sniffed again, taking a deep breath. "I'm so sorry, Edward. I thought you knew."

I sighed, closing my eyes. "I know." I whispered, looking up at him again. "I know you did." I sighed, looking down at my hands. "Was it quick?"

"What?"

"My parents." I clarified and he sighed. "Was it quick?"

He nodded, blowing out a puff of air. "They said that . . . that they were killed on impact."

I closed my eyes again, more tears falling from my eyes. "At least they didn't suffer." I whispered and he nodded, his cheek brushing my hair. "Rosalie said that she'd told me?" He nodded again, looking pained. "Why the hell didn't she tell me? It shouldn't matter what she'd thought of me at the time, they were _my _parents too. She had no right to keep that from me. I had a right to know."

"I know. I know, baby, I know." He pulled me closer to him as the sobs started again and in that moment it didn't matter what had happened between the two of us. He was there now that I needed him and that was all that mattered to me at the moment.

And it stopped me from want to go out and find my sister before hanging her off of the Golden Gate Bridge by her hair.

He didn't do anything, say anything while I sat there and cried. It was like he still knew me as he had before.

When I had control of myself, I pulled away slightly, looking up at him. "Thank you." I whispered and he looked down at me, confused.

"For what?"

"For just . . . being here." I shrugged, sniffing again. I knew I had to look a wreck but in that moment I didn't care. "For not lying to me. For just . . ."

"It's okay." He whispered and I gave him a small smile, letting out a breath.

I took a breath, looking at the pictures on the mantel. Pictures of Killian growing up. From his little chubby cheeks to him becoming a little person, all in those few frames.

I looked up at him and he gave me a watery smile. I closed my eyes, tipping my chin so that my lips met his briefly. He froze, his eyes wide as I opened my eyes again, looking at him.

When his lips met mine I didn't think about everything that we'd gone through all those years ago. I didn't think about the fact that I had given birth to and raised Killian on my own. I didn't think about the fact that the night the two of us had almost died, Jasper had seen what had happened and walked away.

All I could think about was how right it felt to be in his arms again.

And how I never wanted to leave them.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

**Don't hate me. Haven't you ever done something stupid while you were emotional after a glass and a half of wine?**

**Yeah, I thought so.**


	7. Chapter 7

******_Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of Twilight unfortunately. They belong to Stephenie Meyer. I just like to manipulate them into doing what I want them to do._**

**Wow, there's a lot of hate for Rosalie. Her issues will be addressed soon. Though some of you want me to kill her off, which seems a bit extreme.**

**A few of you seem to believe that Jasper has been forgiven. He hasn't. Not by a long shot. Emotion and alcohol often make us do stupid things which I can admit that I've done. These boys still have a lot to deal with and talk about and it will be addressed in up coming chapters. Remember, not all is as it seems.**

Being pulled back into consciousness, I was aware of a dip in the bed and little giggles in my ear. I smirked to myself before rolling over onto my front, squishing Killian underneath me.

He squealed, kicking out at me and giggling.

"Hmm . . ." I pretended to moan, moving around as he giggled even more. "My bed's kinda lumpy. I don't remember it being this lumpy before."

"Daddy, it's me!" He giggled and I pushed myself up, pretending to be surprised to see him there. I think he knew it was just a game but if it got me those giggles as a reward, I'd play it forever.

"Wha-" I pulled the covers back from where they had fallen over him. "What are you doing in there?"

"I home, Daddy!" He grinned, holding his arms up for a hug. I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him to me and sitting back. He clung to me, giggling in my ear and I couldn't help but smile.

"Okay, why don't you go and unpack your bag while you let your Daddy get dressed." I looked up to see Anya standing in the doorway, smiling down at the two of us. He jumped off the bed and I sat back letting out a breath. "So, how was your night?" She asked and I looked over at her, wishing she hadn't asked that question. "Missed him that much, huh?"

I shook my head, running my hands through my hair as the memories of the night before flashed through my head. There was talking and wine and kissing and touching, feeling full and complete as we came together in a way I'd thought I'd never be with him again.

But I guessed that the fact that Jasper wasn't here now meant that it didn't mean as much to him as it did to me.

"What happened?" She asked, sitting down on the end of the bed, her no nonsense 'you're going to tell me what happened and you're going to tell me right the fuck now' look. That look scared me.

"Jasper came over." I whispered and her eyebrows shot up. "He came to talk to me. He . . . completely broke down."

"Don't tell me you forgave him?" She asked, serious and I shook my head.

"No. I haven't. We still have a lot to talk about but . . . talking about _us_ and what happened between us kind of got pushed aside by something else." She tilted her head, clearly wondering what I was going to tell her. She had probably come to the conclusion of what had happened but that wasn't what I wanted to tell her about yet. "He . . . um . . . he told me that . . ."

"What?"

"My parents are dead." I whispered and her hand flew to her mouth.

"What?" I nodded, looking down at my hands, blinking to try and get rid of the tears that were building up. Now that Killian was home, I didn't want to break down.

"It happened about three weeks after everything with Jasper happened. He told me last night. He thought I knew. When I asked him what had happened, he seemed shocked that I didn't know. He said that Rosalie had told him that she told me."

"What?" I looked up at her, seeing her expression full of venom and ice. "She said that she'd told you? Why the hell didn't she?"

"I don't know." I shrugged, sighing. "I don't know why she didn't. I had a right to know."

"Uh, yeah you did."

"Well, Jasper says she's out of a job." I shrugged and she looked at me, confused. "He said that she was his PA. _Was_ being the appropriate word here."

"You think he'll get rid of her?" She asked and I sighed again, leaning back against my pillows.

"I don't know. He seemed upset about it so," I shrugged and she raised an eyebrow at me, "I guess so. Just have to wait and see, huh?"

"But how will you know?"

"Well, if he does fire her, there's no doubt that there will be a pissed five foot ten blonde arriving on my doorstep within the next couple of days." I smirked and she chuckled, shaking her head. "Rosalie flies off the deep end about the littlest of things. There was some major rivalry when we were growing up. Whenever mom would pay me any attention, something always happened. Eventually, she got wise to her game and told her to knock it off."

"Bet that went down well." She chuckled and I nodded, rolling my eyes.

"Like a tonne of bricks."

We both stopped as my alarm went off and I looked at Anya, raising an eyebrow. "Why did you set an alarm on a Saturday?"

"I didn't." I murmured, turning off my alarm, noticing a piece of paper underneath it. That definitely wasn't there before.

I unfolded it, noticing Jasper's handwriting on the other side. I glanced up at Anya and saw that she was giving me a curious look. She waved at me a small smirk on her face, telling me to read it.

_Mi Petardo,_

I closed my eyes, the name Jasper used to whisper in my ear bringing up old memories that I wasn't ready to face yet. Did he know what hearing the name would mean for me and do to me?

_I know that after last night, my leaving wasn't the greatest thing I could have done but unfortunately, I had an eight thirty conference call I couldn't get out of. I would have woken you but you were so peaceful that I couldn't bear to disturb you. I hope that you won't hold it against me that I didn't. I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye._

_Last night meant so much to me, though I know we still have a lot to talk about. I can only hope that we can progress and get to know each other again. Waking up with you next to me was always my favourite part of the day and being back there again this morning made me wish I could erase the last five years and rewrite them._

_I don't regret anything that happened last night, Petardo and I want to have the opportunity to get to know you again and, if you'll let me, be a part of Killian's life._

_I know that we need to talk about everything, not just what happened last night._

_I've left my personal cell number on here, if it's okay for me to call you, please let me know._

_Please._

_Jazz._

He'd left his cell number at the bottom and I let my hand drop, letting out a sigh.

"What happened last night?" Anya asked, making me look up at her. I had completely forgotten that she was there. I looked down at the paper in my hand and she let out a snort. "Come on, it can't be that bad." I didn't look at her, feeling my cheeks heat up. I heard her gasp and I closed my eyes, knowing that she'd figured it out. "You didn't?"

I bit my lip, looking down at the letter again. "I did. _We _did."

"You little slut." I looked up at her sharply and she waved me off, smirking. "Seriously, Edward?" Uh-oh, proper name. "Why? Why would you do that?"

"I don't know, okay?" I moaned, burying my face in my hands, running my hands through my hair. "I don't know. There was talking and emotions and wine." I let out a groan, fisting my hands in my hair. "And he was just _there_ and . . ."

"He was familiar and comforting, I get it but . . . did you have to sleep with him?" I gave her a glare and she held her arms up. "Hey, don't give me the daddy glare. You know where I'm coming from."

"Yeah, I do." I knew that she was right. "Look, I know that I can't really explain it and I know that it won't make sense to you but . . . it just happened and . . . it felt . . . _right_. I know that it shouldn't and I know that it can't happen again. It _won't _happen again but," I let out another sigh, looking up at her, hoping for some kind of understanding.

"He was there when you needed him." She said softly and I nodded, slowly. "You need to make sure that Killian comes first."

"I know that." I replied quickly, shooting her another glare. "He comes first. He will _always_ come first. But last night wasn't about Killian. Not directly anyway. Jasper didn't come over last night to talk about Killian. He was at my door, looking like complete shit and the first thing he actually said was 'I'm sorry'. He apologised for everything." I told her what he'd told me about that night and she nodded along with me.

"So . . . how come he didn't come back?"

I let out a scoff, shaking my head. "Because my sister," she made a face, "got her way inside his head and convinced him not to come home." She raised an eyebrow. "I'm not defending him or his actions but Rosalie has a way of manipulating people into doing what she wants them to do. Jasper thought that he'd seen me cheating on him so . . ."

"He was hurting and vulnerable." She guessed and I shrugged.

"I guess so." I whispered and she leaned forward, placing her hand on mine.

"Look, I know that you're confused as hell right now but I also know that that little boy down the hall is the most important thing to you and you'll do the right the thing by him." She looked down, squeezing my hand gently. "If you think that he can be good for Killian, that he'll benefit from Jasper's presence in his life, then you'll do the right thing."

"Yeah," I nodded, biting my lip again. "I need to get to know Jasper as the person he is now before I let him anywhere near Killian. I think he understands that. I need to keep my distance from him but get to know him again to judge whether he's . . . okay to be around my son. God, I fucked things up, didn't I?"

"Not necessarily." She gave me a small smile. "You're not ready to get into this with him again, are you?" I shook my head.

"I don't know if I ever will be." I said honestly and she nodded.

"Then you need to let him know that. You need to let him know that while you want him around as Killian's father, you're not ready for him to be anything more."

"You make it sound so easy." I chuckled and she shrugged, a smug smile on her face.

"It's a gift."

I shooed her out of my room as I got showered and dressed, knowing that she would keep Killian occupied until I was downstairs. I smiled as I walked down the stairs and heard him giggling again. I had to remind myself to record that sound and make sure that it was saved. I didn't want to lose that.

Killian was facing away from me as I walked into the room and I glanced at Anya, indicating for her to be quiet as I walked up behind him.

"Gotcha!" I grabbed him from behind, revelling in the squeal that erupted from him as I held him to me under his shoulders and legs, blowing raspberry's on his stomach. He squirmed in my grip and I shifted him in my arms, his arms coming to grip around my neck. I settled him on my hip as I stood there, watching Anya laughing at us.

I looked down at him and he rested his head on my shoulder, suddenly sombre.

"I'm gonna head home." Anya said softly, standing up and grabbing her bag. I nodded, walking to the door with her, Killian still hanging on with a death grip, like I was going to disappear if he let me go. "Bye, Monkey." He gave her a small wave before she walked out of the door. I locked it before looking down at him and walking back into the living room.

I sat down on the sofa, shifting him so that he was on my lap. "Hey," I ran my fingers through his hair gently. He didn't move and I wondered what was up with him. He'd been acting a little off for the last couple of days. One moment, he'd be happy and giggly and the next, it was like he was expecting me to disappear. "What's the matter, Peanut?" He shook his head, burying his face in my neck. "Hey," I reached up, grasping his wrists gently in my hands and loosening his grip on my neck. "Is something wrong? Has something happened?" He didn't look at me, but his lip started quivering. "What's wrong, Peanut? What's the matter?"

He looked at me, his lip trembling and I felt my heart breaking as I took in his expression. "Why don't I gots a Mommy like ever-body else?"

"Oh," I breathed, pulling him to me. I had been wondering when this was going to come up again. Of course, he was going to notice that the other children at his day care had their moms and dads coming to pick them up and drop them off. "Well," I moved him back again and he looked up at me again. "You know how most kids, the live in their mommies' tummies before they're born?" He nodded and I took a breath, wondering how to explain this to a four year old. "Well, you didn't live in a _mommies' _tummy. You lived in mine." He pointed and my stomach and I nodded, smiling down at him. "So, you're special because you don't have a mommy like everyone else. You have two daddy's instead."

"But I just gots you." Why the hell did I have to have such an observant kid? "If I haves 'nover daddy, where is he?"

"He had to go away, Peanut."

"He not wants me?" His eyes were welling up and I pulled him to me, holding him close.

"Oh, baby, of course he does." He better do. "Why would you think that he didn't? Who told you that?" He rubbed his eyes as I watched him. "Was it someone at school?" He nodded, gripping my shirt. "Who was it?"

"Jamie." He whispered and I nodded, holding him close to me.

"Well, Jamie is wrong." I said sternly. "You have two daddies that love you, understand?" He nodded. "Right, what do you say we get some popcorn and watch Finding Nemo?" He grinned and I grinned back at him. "Wanna go get your Nemo?" He nodded, jumping off my lap and running upstairs.

I quickly followed him, grabbing the note that Jasper had left for me and making a quick decision. I hadn't wanted them to meet until I'd had a chance to feel Jasper out a bit more. But unfortunately, a child at day care had pushed up my plans by quite a bit.

Killian was feeling insecure and if having Jasper in his life would get rid of that, I would do it. I would make sure that Jasper knew that this was an all or nothing scenario. If he couldn't be there, then I didn't want him making promises that he couldn't keep.

Being a four year old, Killian retained the knowledge of every promise that was made.

I quickly typed in the number, hitting dial, glancing down at Killian's doorway. He would be in there for a few minutes, searching for his stuffed clownfish toy.

"_Hello_?"

"Jasper?" I breathed, straightening up. "It's Edward."

"_Hey,"_ He breathed and I thought I heard what sounded like relief in his voice. "_Are you okay?_"

"Yeah, I'm good." I bit my lip, running a hand through my hair as I started pacing. "Jasper, this isn't about last night. I need to know _now_ if you're serious about knowing Killian. If you can promise me that you'll be there when he needs you. If you can honestly say that you will be there, through everything, through his temper tantrums and grumpy sick days and everything else that comes with being a father. Can you honestly say that you're serious about this?"

"_One hundred per cent._" He replied with absolutely no hesitation whatsoever. I relaxed a little at his tone. It was the determined tone I'd heard from him so many times when it came to him getting what he wanted. "_I want nothing more than to be part of his life, Edward. I want to get to know him. I want to be there when he goes into his first day of school, I want to be there when he's not feeling well. I want to be there when he gets a gold star or when things aren't so good. I want to be there for every part of his life. If you'll let me." _The last part was said with such uncertainty and I stopped pacing, closing my eyes and letting a breath out through my nose.

"I want to trust you, Jasper, I do." I sighed, thankful when he seemed to sense that I wasn't done. "I um . . . Killian and I go to Golden Gate Park every Sunday. Ten am."

"_Are . . . are you saying what I think you're saying, Edward?"_ The hope in his voice was heart-breaking but I had to think about how all of this would affect Killian.

"Yes, Jasper, I am."

There was a breath on the other end of the line, followed by a small sniff. "_Thank you_." He whispered and I nodded, even though he couldn't see me. "_How . . . how come-"_

"I'll explain in the morning." I said softly and he hummed an agreement. "We always go to the carousel."

"_I'll be there."_ He whispered and we said our goodbyes. I held my phone to my lips, wondering if I'd made the right decision in introducing Killian and Jasper so soon. I had wanted to get a better grip on who Jasper was now. But with Killian not feeling secure in the fact that he was loved by not just me but Jasper as well.

All I could do right now was hope for the best.

. . . . . . . . . . .

I felt my heart rate speed up as we approached the carousel. It was five to ten and Jasper would be here soon, if he wasn't here already.

I knelt down in front of Killian, making sure that his coat was buttoned up securely. It was starting to get a bit chillier over the last few days and I didn't want him getting sick.

"Now, remember what I told you?" He nodded, his eyes flicking to the playground just across from the carousel. "There's someone special coming to see us while we're here today, so when I call you over, you have to come back, okay?" He nodded, vibrating with excitement just as he always did when he got here. "What did I just say?"

"When you calls me, I gots to come back." He recited and I smiled at him, nodding. I stood up, watching him run towards where the other children were playing up ahead. I could still see him from where I was, so I was okay with him being with the other kids.

"Edward?" I turned to see Jasper walking towards me, a nervous look on his face. He gave me a small smile as he stopped next to me. He looked over towards where the children were before looking back towards me. "Where?"

I smiled, knowing that to the untrained eye, children could easily mix together. "You see the little boy climbing up the frame towards the slide?" I asked and he nodded, watching as Killian, quickly made his way towards the slide, squealing as he went down it faster than I was happy with.

"That's him?" He glanced at me before his eyes fixed back onto Killian. It was as though he didn't want to take his eyes off him for a moment.

I knew the feeling.

"He looks just like you." He said softly, looking at me and smiling.

"From a distance, yeah, he's all me but when he gets up close, you're definitely in there." I return his smile before turning back to where Killian has obviously made some new friends. "It's amazing how little ones can make new friends so quickly."

"They don't judge like adults or even older children do. All they see is the fact that there's someone else there that wants to play and that's it, they're friends." I nodded my agreement, watching him as he ran around with the other children.

"Jasper, I want to introduce you to him as his father. I know that others might say that we're friends or something else but . . . with Killian, he'll pick up on the truth quickly."

"That perceptive, huh?" He let out a breathy laugh and I chuckled.

"You have no idea." I looked over at him again. "You ready to become a daddy?" I asked and he bit his lip, clearly nervous. His eyes were determined and I hoped that he was really in this for the long haul. From his expression, I could see that he was. He nodded and I let out a breath of relief. "Ready to meet him?" I asked and he looked at me, slightly panicked before he took a deep breath and nodded. "Killian!" He turned to look at me and I waved him over. He turned to face his new friends, probably telling them that he had to go, before running over to the two of us. "Don't worry. You'll be fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." I looked down at Killian as he stopped in front of us, looking up at Jasper. He moved around to my side, grasping hold of my hand as he watched the unknown man in front of him. I knelt down next to him and he looked at me. "You remember I told that someone special was coming to see us today?" He nodded and I looked up at Jasper to see him watching Killian, tears welling up in his eyes. "Well, this is Jasper."

He let go of my hand and I stood up, watching the two of them. "Hi." My son was completely fearless as he stood there in front of Jasper. "I'm Killian."

"Hi Killian," Jasper grinned down at him before kneeling down so that he was on the same level as him. "I'm Jasper."

"Are you my other daddy?" He asked and I chuckled as Jasper's eyes shot up to meet mine. I gave him a look that clearly said 'told you so'. I nodded, letting him know that it was okay to tell him that he was.

"Yeah." He whispered, nodding at Killian. "Yeah, I am."

"Why you not here before?" He asked and I saw Jasper starting to panic a little. I gave him another reassuring nod as he looked at me for approval.

"Well, I had to go away for a while." He told him softly and Killian looked up at me and I nodded down at him.

"You not wants me?" His voice sounded so small and I wanted to wrap him up in my arms. I saw nothing but pain in Jasper's eyes and I resolved to let him answer Killian's questions.

"Of course I do, little man. I had to go away for a while but I'm here now. I have to travel some places sometimes but I will _always_ come back. I'm not going anywhere again, okay?"

"You stayin' here?" He asked and I saw nothing but adoration in Jasper's eyes.

"Yes," it was a simple word but one that held a lot of weight, especially with the little boy standing in front of him. "I'm staying here. I'm not going _anywhere."_ Killian looked up at me and I gave him a smile.

With that Killian stepped towards Jasper, wrapping his arms around him in a hug. I couldn't help but grin at the sight. Jasper froze for a second before he wrapped his arms around Killian, holding him to him.

"Okay, Daddy." He said softly before pulling away and running back over to me, hugging me. I knelt down, picking him up. He wrapped his arms around my neck, leaning into me.

"What do you think?" I stage-whispered to Killian, knowing that Jasper could hear me. "Shall we keep him?" Killian looked between the two of us, biting his lip before nodding. "Good. I think so too. But . . . we got to find something else to call him. Or else if we're both 'Daddy' then it's gonna get confusing."

I glanced up at Jasper, who was watching the two of us closely. "Ummm . . ." Killian put a finger to his chin, something he did when he was thinking hard about something. "How 'bout 'Papa'?" He looked up at me, seeking approval. I heard Jasper let out a small gasp at the name and I knew that it was what he called his father. He wanted to be a Papa just like his.

"How about you ask Jasper, yeah?" I asked and he nodded, pushing away from me. I put him down and he ran towards Jasper. Not that there was much space between us.

"You wanna be my Papa?" He asked, his voice clear with innocence, not really understanding what the name meant to Jasper.

"Killian, I would love to be your Papa." He replied, his voice sounding choked and Killian hugged him fiercely again before turning back to me asking if he could go back and play. I nodded and he ran off back to the new friends he'd made. "Wow." Jasper breathed and I nodded. "You weren't kidding."

"Told you he's perceptive." I said softly and he stood up.

"Edward . . ." I turned to look at him, seeing his eyes filled with tears, a small smile on his face. "He's amazing. Thank you."

"You're welcome." I breathed, turning back to watch him, smiling as I saw Killian pointing towards the two of us. "Someone's proud."

"Did I . . . did I do okay?" He sounded so nervous, so scared and I couldn't help but feel slightly sorry for him.

"You did great." He visibly relaxed.

"I didn't overstep-" I shook my head and he looked at me, still slightly worried. "When he asked me if I didn't want him . . . God . . . I . . ."

"I know," I looked down before looking back up at him. "He asked me the same thing last night." He looked slightly worried. "You did fine. You answered in the exact same way I did."

"I didn't go too far, did I?" He asked, looking over at him. "When he asked if I was staying, I just . . ."

"You did fine." I assured him. "You told him that you have to go away sometimes but you'll come back. He doesn't need anything more. All he needs to know is that you're there. He's four, it's not like he needs a comprehensive answer. All he needs to know is that you're there when he needs you . . . Papa." He looked at me and I smirked at him.

"Thank you." He whispered and I nodded, looking back at him.

I just hoped that it would all work out the way I hoped it would.

Looking at the way Jasper was watching Killian as he played, I could see he wanted to prove himself to both Killian and myself.

I hoped he could do that.

We needed to talk about everything that had happened between us before we could really go ahead and make any arrangements when it came to Killian and him seeing him. We needed to get everything cleared between us. We needed to make sure that there weren't any bad feelings between us that would affect Killian. We had to settle on an even ground.

We would get there.

We had to.

For the innocent little boy that wanted nothing more than to be loved.

We would give him that.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

**What do we think?**


	8. Chapter 8

___**Disclaimer: Again, Stephenie Meyer owns the characters other than Anya and Killian**_

**Yup, another chapter. **

**Thankfully, no one has bitten my head off, which is good because I kind of like it where it is.**

**Things are moving along for our three boys but it's not going to be smooth sailing, but I think you guys knew that.**

**Anyway, if I say anything more, I'm going to give something away.**

We stayed at the park for another hour or so before Killian got bored of playing and ran back over to us. He asked if Jasper was coming back to our house and he looked at me, clearly asking permission. I gave him a small nod and he grinned down at Killian, saying that he would love to.

The squeal that accompanied that was the only answer we needed.

Following tradition, Killian turned to me, arms in the air and I picked him up, settling him on my hip as Jasper fell into step beside us. He gave me a smile, seeing how Killian automatically relaxed into me as we walked.

Killian chatted about nothing really but we both listened with smiles on our faces. I thought that he was going to throw a tantrum when we said that Jasper had to drive his own car to our house. He pouted and stomped his foot when we told him that but I raised an eyebrow at him, giving him what Anya called my 'daddy-bitch-brow' and he scrambled into the back of the car. I strapped him into his seat, closing the door and turning to face Jasper.

He gave me a watery smile as he waved at Killian before giving me a small smile, his fingers brushing my own gently as he turned, walking to his car which was parked a couple of cars down from mine.

I took a deep breath, climbing into the car and pulling out of the parking space I'd taken.

"Is Papa coming to our house for lunch?" Killian asked and I could see him trying to turn to see if Jasper was following us.

"Sit down in your seat, Killian." He sat down immediately, knowing that I was serious if I used his proper name rather than either a shortened version or his nickname. He knew that sitting still in the car was a must but obviously the excitement of meeting Jasper had made him forget that. "And yes, Papa is coming to lunch at our house for lunch."

"Yay!" He clapped, his feet wiggling as he sat there. I couldn't help but smile at his reaction, happy that he wasn't reacting adversely to the news that he'd been given today.

"So . . . are you happy that he's here?" I asked, hoping to get an honest answer from him.

"Yeah." He grinned at me again, knowing that I could see him in the rear-view mirror when I glanced up. "Now I has two daddies. No one else does."

"That's right. You're really special." I smiled at him as he giggled. "So, do you like him?"

"He's alright. I don' really know him." He shrugged and I laughed. "Does he like me?" He sounded very small with those four words. He looked unsure, sitting there in his car seat and I felt my heart breaking.

"Of course he does, Peanut. You know what?" He shook his head, biting his lip. "I'd bet that by the time he goes home today, he'll love you."

"Really?"

"Really really." I smiled as he sat back in his seat, looking happily out of the window at the passing buildings. I was happy that he wasn't upset about what had happened today and I hoped that he would remain as calm and happy as he was now.

We pulled up to the house and I parked in the driveway, making sure that there was room for Jasper to park comfortably before I climbed out of the car and unstrapped Killian. He hopped out of the car and we made our way up the steps to the front door. Just as I unlocked the front door, Jasper pulled into the driveway, swiftly parking and climbing out of the car.

"In you go." I eased Killian inside, waiting for Jasper as he walked up the steps. I held up a finger, nodding for him to come inside. "Right, why don't you go and get that coat and shoes off and go wash up for lunch, okay?" I said to Killian and he nodded, looking up at Jasper. "Papa and I are going to have a quick chat in the kitchen while you wash up, okay?" He nodded before running upstairs. "Hold the hand rail!" I called and his steps immediately slowed as I knew he'd reached out for it. I nodded once before walking into the kitchen, taking off my jacket and hanging it up on the coat rack. "You can take your jacket off."

He seemed to startle out of his little trance before blushing and unzipping his jacket and hanging it up.

"Sandwiches okay with you?"

"Sure," he gestured with his hands that he would be happy with whatever he was given and I smiled, turning to the fridge and taking out some chicken I'd cooked the previous night and some mayonnaise, salt, pepper and some lemon. "Chicken mayonnaise?" He asked with a grin and I nodded. "Anything I can do to help?" He asked and I gestured towards the breadbin, telling him he could butter the bread while I made the filling.

"Jasper," I sighed, dumping the chicken I'd cut up into a bowl. He hummed, turning to look at me. "I um . . . I uh . . . I need you to be careful around Killian." He looked confused as he stopped what he was doing. "This isn't coming out right." I chuckled. "I don't want anyone brought around Killian that . . . I don't want . . . your boyfriend . . ."

"What boyfriend?" He asked, looking confused.

"The guy from the coffee shop?" I raised an eyebrow and he laughed, shaking his head.

"He's not my boyfriend. He's one of my assistants . . . well, as of Monday, my only assistant. Not my boyfriend." He smiled, his eyes full of laughter.

"Your assistants make a habit of calling you babe?" I asked, raising an eyebrow questioningly and he chuckled again, shaking his head.

"This is going to sound really conceited but . . . I have a lot of people that know who I am." I nodded, understanding that because of the publicity of his company, he would be well known. I just stayed away from everything that pertained to Jasper because it hurt too much to think of him. "I have people after me because of my money. Demetri is there to kind of . . ."

"Act as a deterrent?" I offered and he nodded.

"He's generally there to make sure that people don't get too close and try to get their hands on my money." He shrugged and I nodded, understanding how that could be a necessity. "He's nothing more than my assistant, Edward. He's never been anything more and he never will be. Well, other than a friend but you get the idea." He looked at me, his eyes never wavering. "I promise."

"Okay." I nodded, continuing to cut up the chicken and put it in the bowl.

"I wouldn't do anything to hurt him. Especially bring someone else around him. I know I've only known him an hour or so but . . ."

"You love him already." I smiled and he nodded, turning back to the bread he was buttering.

"I done!" We both looked around to see Killian standing there, waving his hands at us, clearly looking for approval.

"Can you get onto his stool?" I asked Jasper and he looked at me, clearly nervous but I nodded towards Killian, encouraging him. Now that the two of them had been introduced, I wanted Jasper to know what it was like being involved with a four year old. He gave me a small smile before turning and addressing Killian.

I mixed up the rest of the chicken mayonnaise as Jasper lifted Killian onto his stool, strapping him onto the booster. I had made sure to get him a booster seat with a strap because the child could not sit still and would no doubt slide off at a moment's notice.

The two of us worked alongside each other to finish the sandwiches and I pulled out some juice, setting it and two glasses on the table. I grabbed a plastic cup and set it on the table for Killian, filling it half way with apple juice before setting it in front of him and placing his sandwich down in front of him.

He quickly dug in and I chuckled as he practically devoured the sandwich. "Killian, chew." He looked up at me, his cheeks puffed out like a hamster. H nodded, chewing slowly and swallowing. I nodded, placing a plate in front of Jasper as well. He grinned at me and I remembered how much he loved my chicken mayo sandwiches. He'd beg me for them until it bugged me so much that I'd give up and make him one. He could always tell if it was store bought mix or mine and sometimes, it was just annoying.

And from the look on his face, he liked them as much now as he did then.

"Mmm . . . amazing." He moaned, looking sheepish as he realised Killian was at the table. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head, silently letting him know not to worry about it. "Still incredible."

"I try." I shrugged, smiling to myself.

The rest of lunch was eaten in silence and Killian was the first to disappear after he finished. No doubt he was running upstairs to find some of his toys and drawings to show Jasper.

Jasper let out a breath as he placed his plate next to me, leaning on the counter. "Am I . . . am I doing okay?" He whispered and I looked up at him, wiping the plates off in the sink.

"You're doing fine." I assured him and he looked at me, relieved. "It's going to take time for the both of you to get to know each other. It's not going to happen in a couple of hours but you'll get there."

"You've done an amazing job with him, Edward. I don't know how you did it."

"I've made mistakes." I shrugged, taking another plate and washing it off. "Every parent does and I can guarantee that the both of us will make more. There'll be tantrums and arguments and there's nothing we can do to stop that. There'll be times when he's screaming that he hates us and calling us everything under the sun, though I hope that doesn't come for a while. No parents are perfect but we learn as we go. Some things are more of a struggle than others. You have no idea how long it took me to convince him that boys' pee standing up."

"You're kidding me?" He chuckled, shaking his head and I held my hands up, covering him with water and bubbles. I laughed as he blew bubbles off his nose, raising an eyebrow at me.

"Sorry." I chuckled and he shook his head, grabbing a towel and wiping his face with it. "But yes, he fought me on it, saying that he wanted to sit down."

"How did you convince him?" He asked, moving back towards the island.

"I told him that only girls pee sitting down. Of course, that started him off on the fact that he wasn't a girl," he looked towards him and he grinned.

"And so you told him that if he wasn't a girl then she shouldn't pee sitting down."

"Uh-huh." I grinned, placing the last dish on the rack as a sharp sting hit my ass and I jumped away from it. I turned around to see Jasper standing there an innocent grin on his face. Yeah fucking right. That boys' never been innocent. "What the fuck was that?"

"That was payback for the bubbles." He smirked and I spied the towel in his hand. Bastard.

"That," I pointed at him, the gesture losing its effect as my hand was still covered in bubbles, "was an accident."

I rolled my eyes, turning back to the washing up, making quick work of the glasses and things I'd used to make lunch. "Better not bruise."

"I remember, you bruise like a peach." He chuckled and I sucked in a breath. Was I ready to go there with him? I wasn't sure about that. "I have a question while the munchkin is still hunting for . . . whatever it is he's hunting for up there." I glanced at him as I wiped my hands on the towel I'd managed to grab back from him. I gave him a look that said 'shoot'. "Why the tattoo?"

"What?" Why did he have to ask about that? Out of all the questions he could have asked, why did he have to ask about the tattoo I had done. Why did he even have to notice it?

"Why the tattoo?" He walked over to me slowly and I pressed myself back into the counter. He stopped in front of me, bringing his finger up to push aside the collar of my shirt, exposing the tattoo I had over my heart. "Why '_broken'_?" He asked, his voice soft.

"Once it's been broken by everyone you loved and trusted, you need a little reminder to keep it protected." I whispered softly and he closed his eyes, his head bowing slightly before he looked back at me, his eyes full of what looked like pain.

"I will never begin to show how sorry I am, Edward." I placed a finger over his lips, silencing him.

"Don't." I shook my head, looking away from him. "Not now. I know we need to talk but . . . not now." He nodded. His lips pressed against my finger for a moment before he moved away from me. I let out a breath, running my hand through my hair.

"Edward?" I turned to look at him to see that he was unbuttoning the top buttons of his shirt. I felt my eyes widen as I glanced at the doorway, just waiting for my boisterous four year old to run into the room with whatever he'd found and see his Daddy and Papa in the kitchen, his Papa with his shirt open. He was at the stage where he was repeating everything he saw and heard which did not bode well for this situation.

"Jasper, what are you doing?" I whispered harshly, glancing at the doorway again.

"Showing you something." He stated solemnly, pulling down the left side of his shirt, exposing a tattoo above his heart. My breathing stuttered as I saw what was written there.

'_Mi Petardo'_

I walked over to him, running my finger over the lettering.

"My firecracker." He whispered and I looked up at him, unable to form words. I think he knew what I was trying to say because he gave me a small smile. "When someone works their way into your heart and won't leave, you need something to remind you not to let them go."

I blinked, trying to get rid of the tears that were starting to build. I moved away from him as I heard little footsteps making their way down the stairs. I turned to face the doorway and saw a load of papers fluttering around followed by a small 'oops'. I couldn't help but laugh as I moved away from Jasper and towards the doorway, looking up to see Killian standing there, staring at the papers on the floor.

I saw that they were the drawings that Killian had done at day care over the last few weeks. The way he was staring at the papers made me think that he believed that he could make them appear back in his hand with only the power of his mind.

"You okay, Peanut?" I asked and he looked at me. I chuckled at his expression as I walked over to him as he stood on the stairs. I held out my arms for him and he practically jumped at me. Thankfully, I was used to this so I was able to catch him with ease. I turned to see Jasper standing there, shirt buttoned, thank god, watching with amusement and something else.

"That was impressive." He chuckled and I shrugged as I settled Killian on my hip.

"You get used to it." I laughed, brushing his hair out of his eyes. "I think someone needs a haircut soon." He looked up at me, his eyes wide as he shook his head. I nodded, raising an eyebrow and he pouted at me. I knew that he would put up more of a fight when it came to it but I was relieved he didn't whine right now.

Maybe I would let Jasper deal with that.

That could be interesting.

Jasper bent over, picking up the papers that had fluttered everywhere. "And what are _these_?" He asked, looking at Killian who burrowed his head into my chest, apparently embarrassed now that Jasper had the papers in front of him. "Well, whoever did these is _really_ good." That got his attention and he looked up at him. "Did you do these?" He nodded, his head resting on my shoulder again. "Well, I'm jealous."

"Why?" His eyebrows furrowed as he watched his newly acquired Papa look through his pictures.

"Because I would love to be able to draw this good." He held up a picture that he'd done of the two of us in front of the house. I smiled, knowing that Jasper was making sure that Killian didn't get embarrassed about his pictures as he normally did.

Jasper himself was an incredible artist. The drawings he had done in the past were so lifelike it was unbelievable.

"Really?"

"Yeah." He grinned at him, looking through the pictures. "These are so good."

Killian grinned up at me and I couldn't help but return it as we walked through into the living room. I placed Killian down on the sofa before I made my way over to the bookcase, pulling out one of the photo albums and handing it to Jasper. I nodded towards it when he looked at me with a curious expression on his face.

He opened it, a small gasp escaping his lips. The first few pages were dedicated to scan photos, showing Killian as he developed inside me. There were also pictures that Anya insisted on documenting as my stomach swelled, proof of the little boy that was in there.

"Wow," he looked up at me as he turned the page. "I hate to say it but you were huge." He laughed and I chuckled, nodding along.

"I know." I ran my fingers through Killian's hair and he looked up at me. "Which one is that?"

"Um . . ." he looked for the date on the picture, "January 5th 2008." I nodded, knowing that that was two days before I'd had Killian, the day Anya had come up with her infamous 'Rogers' nickname. "That can't have been comfy."

"No, it most certainly was not. I had indigestion, heartburn, constantly needed to pee, was nauseous ninety per cent of the time and this one," I tugged his hair gently and he scowled up at me, "was constantly either kicking the heck out of my kidneys – so much so I thought they'd never work properly again – or wedging his foot underneath my ribs and stretching."

"Ouch." He cringed and I nodded, smiling down at Killian as he looked between the two of us, clearly confused.

He spent the next few minutes flipping through the album. That particular one only spanned the first six months of Killian's life as there were so many people taking so many pictures.

"He was so tiny." He whispered, running a finger down one of the pictures.

"He sure didn't feel it." I chuckled and he followed suit.

"From the first pictures, he didn't look it." He chuckled and I nodded along.

"I thought for sure he was gonna be like nine, ten pounds at least. He was only five fifteen and nineteen inches." I rested my head on my hand as my little man clambered onto my lap. He looked over at Jasper and whacked the seat next to me on the sofa. He looked at me, questioning and I nodded, letting him know that it was okay.

He stood up, making sure that he had the paintings Killian had brought down the stairs to show him.

"Tha's me." He grinned at the two of us and we smiled down at him.

We sat there for a while looking through the pictures and I told Jasper the stories behind them. I could hear the stuttered breathing as we looked through the pages and I could see the tears welling up in his eyes. Whether they were of happiness at seeing the pictures or regret at missing out on actually being there, I wasn't sure.

As we sat there, I was aware how familiar and easy this was. Sitting there, laughing at baby Killian and four year old Killian pouting at the many pictures he didn't like was so easy it was as though it had always been this way. It was like we were a family reminiscing at past times.

And that thought made my chest tight.

Could I risk opening myself up to Jasper again?

Could I risk the heartbreak that could come with it?

I wasn't sure.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

**_Mi Petardo - My firecracker._**

**I used Google translate for that so if it's wrong then I'm sorry. Not fluent in Spanish so if I offend anyone with the bad translation . . . blame Google.**

**Let me know what you think.**


	9. Chapter 9

******_Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of Twilight unfortunately. They belong to Stephenie Meyer. I just like to manipulate them into doing what I want them to do._**

**Another chappie for you. You guys are only getting these while I'm stuck at home with sickness by the way. I'm nauseous and sore and achy and being pregnant is not fun.**

**A few of you think that the boys are moving fast but remember, they were together for years before everything happened. Even with five years separating then and now, feelings like that don't really go away if you haven't had a chance to deal with them.**

Sitting at my desk on Monday morning, I couldn't get my mind off the weekend with Jasper. It had gone better than I had ever thought it would.

He and Killian had gotten along as though they had known each other all along, as though Jasper hadn't ever not been in our lives. He just seemed to fit into our lives like a missing jigsaw piece.

And I wasn't exactly sure how I felt about that.

I didn't know if I was ready to let him in so fully just yet. Obviously, he was now known to Killian, so I couldn't keep him away from him. It would hurt my little boy too much if I suddenly decided to pull Jasper out of his life again. I couldn't do that to him.

But I had to work out a system with Jasper.

I ran my hand through my hair, sitting back in my chair as I stared at the screen in front of me. I couldn't concentrate on the work I was supposed to be doing, rather my mind flicking back to the tattoo Jasper had on his chest.

How had I not noticed it before when we were . . .

Never mind. If I thought about that now, I'd never get any work done.

He had a tattoo with the name he'd always called me ever since I'd called him out on his crap when I first talked to him. He had walked up to me, smirking and I hadn't held back the eye roll at his behaviour. He was just like every other jock I'd met. Thinking that he could get anything he wanted with a smile.

I smiled to myself as I thought about how I'd made him work for it.

He was a frat boy, a year older than I was and I'd heard things about him. I knew before I even talked to him that he was gay and apparently, he got around.

I remember the first thing I'd ever said to him was '_sorry, I don't do leftovers'_ before walking away. He hadn't left me alone after that, even though I'd made it clear that I wasn't interested. Even though I did. Every part of me wanted him.

Not that I let him know that.

I told him, under no uncertain terms, did I want to be one of many. I told him that if he wanted me, then he couldn't have anyone else. And to my surprise, he did it. He made sure that all of his usual hook-ups knew that he wasn't available anymore, for which I was hated in general by the majority of the gay population of the University of Washington.

He went out of his way to prove himself to me and I could only hope that once we did sleep together – because, please, it's gonna happen – that he wouldn't leave. That this wasn't just a way to get into my bed.

Imagine my surprise when I woke up the next morning, his arm wrapped around me, his breath tickling the back of my neck.

"Hey," I looked up to see Anya leaning in the doorway, a smirk on her face. "So, how did it go yesterday?" She asked, sauntering into the room as she always did. She sat down, making herself at home on the chair across from my desk, watching me closely.

"It went really well." Her eyebrow lifted and I rolled my eyes, shaking my head. "It was incredible, okay?" She smirked at me, smug and I couldn't understand why. "The two of them get on so well. I thought that it would take a little time for Killian to warm up to Jasper but he just ran over to us and looked up at him, obviously judging him." She grinned, proud of my little man and I had to say, I was too. "You know what the first thing he said to him was. After introducing himself, that is?" She shook her head, grinning. "Are you my other daddy?"

"You're kidding me?" She laughed and I chuckled, shaking my head. "He actually just came out and said that?" I nodded, unable to stop laughing. "You know what? Somehow that doesn't actually surprise me."

"What can I say? My boy calls it as he sees it." I shrugged and she nodded.

"That he does. Do remember last year when Jake's hair was getting long and he told him he looked like a girl?" I barked out a laugh, nodding as I remembered Jake's shocked look at my innocent three year old pointed out that boys don't have long hair.

The next time we saw Jake, unsurprisingly, he'd had a haircut.

And Leah had thanked me profusely, saying that she'd been on at him to get his hair cut for weeks and one small sentence from Killian and it's all gone.

Out of the mouths of babes, huh?

"So . . . how are _you_ doing with all of this?" She asked, her expression turning serious. It always amazed me how she could be in the middle of a giggle fit and then seem as though she was talking about ending world hunger or some kind of war. It was kind of creepy actually.

I let out a breath. "I honestly don't know. I think it's great that Killian is so accepting of him and even though Jasper's nervous around him at the moment, I can't see it lasting long. He needs to learn Killian's tricks and routines and stuff but he's been quick at picking stuff up." She raised an eyebrow at me and I knew that wasn't what she was asking. "I know, I know. I don't know what I'm going to do about it. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it all day. I mean, I've hardly gotten any work done because of it." I chuckled, shaking my head. "I need to start out slow. I know that Killian's probably going to worry sometimes that Jasper won't be coming back, even though he promised him that even though he had to go away sometimes," the eyebrow again, "work," I supplied and she nodded, "that he would always come back."

"Wow." She nodded slowly and I nodded. "That's some promise to make to a four year old."

"I know. I made sure to tell him that Killian would always remember that." She nodded again and I smiled. "You know what he said to that?" She tilted her head, clearly interested. "'He'll never have a reason to'."

"He's in it for the long haul." She said softly and I nodded.

"I think he is." I chuckled again. "No, I _know_ he is."

"So, back to my original question: how are _you_ doing with all of this? Not Killian. You." I should have known that she wasn't going to let this go.

"I'm dealing with it. I have to." I leaned forward, resting my arms on my desk. "I know that Jasper's going to be there as Killian's father, or his _Papa_," she raised an eyebrow and I laughed. "Killian gave him the name which made him nearly burst into tears. He loved his Papa and I knew he wanted to be one. I think it meant a lot to him that Killian came up with the name on his own."

"I can imagine."

"I know that he's going to be around but . . . I know that I have to set some boundaries. I don't think that I can go back to how it used to be with Jasper. I mean, it was so easy yesterday, much more so than I thought it was going to be but I don't think I can go there with him again."

"No matter how much you want to." She muttered and I looked up at her sharply. "Come on, it's obvious that you still want him, Rogers. You can't deny the look you get in your eyes when you talk about him."

I sighed, hoping that I had been better at hiding it. "He has the nickname he always called me tattooed above his heart." I whispered and I thought that her eyebrows were going to disappear into her hair, they moved so high up her forehead. "I know." I laughed. "You're right. I want him. I do but . . . it's not a good idea. I can't risk it happening again. If something were to happen again, I don't know."

"You'd be okay." She said softly, reaching across the desk, placing her hand on mine. "You'd be okay because you have that little boy to think of. Let him know that _you're_ setting the pace."

I nodded, knowing that she was right. "I think . . . I think that I need to set some boundaries." She nodded, sitting back in the chair. "I don't want Killian to think that he's going to be around in the house all the time. I think maybe it would best if it was just weekends for now. And see where it goes from there. Killian has his routine during the week and I don't want that being disrupted. Not now that Jasper is suddenly in his life. I need to know that he's as stable as possible at the moment."

"You need to do what you think is right." I nodded, leaning back in my chair as the intercom buzzed.

"Yeah." I held down the button, looking up at Anya who shrugged. I didn't have any meetings scheduled for today and wasn't expecting anyone.

"There's a woman here to see you, Mr Cullen." I felt my brow furrow as Anya raised an eyebrow at me. I waved her off as her lips pursed with laughter. I rolled my eyes at her and she let a giggle slip out.

"Who is it?"

"Mr and Mrs McCarty, Mr Cullen." Who the hell are Mr and Mrs McCarty?

"Okay, send them through." I shrugged, knowing that she couldn't see me. Anya stood up, picking up her bag.

"Who?"

"No idea."

"Alright then, I'll leave you to it." She laughed as the door opened and I felt my smile drop as I took in my sister in the door. There was a large man standing just behind her, looking slightly confused at her pissed off demeanour.

"What do you want, Rosalie?" Anya looked at me, her eyes wide before she regarded my sister, her eyes narrowing. I knew that look and I knew that Anya would do some damage if she wanted to. She looked up at me, silently asking me if I wanted her to stay. She knew that I did.

"You. Got. Me Fired." She hissed, stepping into the room, the man following her. I guessed that he was the unlucky bastard was her husband.

"And how did I do that?" I challenged, crossing my arms. Anya placed her bag down on the desk behind her, standing next to me, drawing up to her full height. Standing there in her suit, her dark green eyes glittering with anger as she regarded my sister in front of her. Anya was the only woman I knew of – other than Bella, who had to have held her off outside my office or she would have stormed her way through into the room – that wouldn't be intimidated by Rosalie. The only one I knew of that could probably best Rosalie in a fight was the woman standing next to me.

She could be fucking scary.

"Whatever you said, whatever you did, it cost me my job!" She was seething and I really didn't care. "What the fuck is your problem? You haven't fucked everyone lives up enough to begin with?"

"Excuse me!" I glared at her, stepping forward towards her. I saw her husband draw himself up as he saw me approach, I levelled him with a glare, warning him not to get involved. This was nothing to do with him. "_I_ fucked everyone's lives up? So you've never done anything wrong? You've been the saint in the family, huh?"

"At least I haven't fucked around on anybody." She gritted out and I let out a laugh.

"You have absolutely no idea what you're fucking talking about Rosalie. How dare you come in here, my own sister," her husband's eyes widened as he glanced at her. Huh. Apparently she wasn't as honest with him and he'd obviously hoped she was. "How dare you come in here, my place of work, spouting off about shit that you have absolutely no idea about? I've talked to Jasper, he knows exactly what happened that night and you know what? So do I. I know _exactly_ why he didn't come home. But you know what I don't know? You what I would really like to know?" She stood there, her eyes narrowed as she crossed her arms over her chest. "I want to know why I had to wait five years to find out that my parents are dead."

Her eyes widened slightly as she stiffened infinitesimally at my words. "You didn't deserve to know."

"I . . . I didn't -" I sputtered slightly, not believing this. "I didn't deserve to know that my parents are dead? You're fucked up."

"Hey!" Oh, so he speaks. "Don't talk to her like that."

"Do I know you?" I shot back, staring at him. "Who are you? Do I know you? No. I don't. So I really couldn't give a fuck about you at the moment." Yeah I know I was being what Anya would call a 'grade-A bitch' to him but he was guilty by association by being married to my sister. That much was obvious. "So shut up. This doesn't concern you."

He opened his mouth, looking angry, about to say something else before Anya cleared her throat. I glanced at her to see her staring at him, shaking her head, a silent warning for him to stay quiet. She knew that I was right. It didn't concern either of them. He apparently heeded her warning, not saying anything but glaring at me.

"You had no right to keep their death from me. Absolutely no right. I had a fucking _right_ to know, Rosalie and you're not the one who gets to decide that. They were _my_ parents too!"

"Yeah, well they were mine first." Was she serious?

"What, are you five? Seriously? 'They were mine first'? Are you kidding me with this shit?"

"You have no idea, do you?" She chuckled, shaking her head before staring at me again. "Did you know that Mom and Dad were told they couldn't have children? You didn't know that, did you? Well, they were told that so they went for adoption. Enter me. And you know what? For the first six years of my life I had everything that I wanted. I didn't have to share their attention or space or anything. Everything I wanted, I got. And then guess what?" Her expression darkened and I didn't break eye contact with her as she stared at me. "Mom finds out she's pregnant. And suddenly, there's a screaming baby that takes everything away. That takes up all Mom and Dad's attention. You were theirs. They made _you_. They didn't care about me anymore. So you know what? Yeah, I could have called you or whatever when they died but I thought 'why should I'? You took everything from me when you came along. Why should you take this from me as well?"

"I take it back. You're not just fucked up, you need to be fucking sectioned." I spat, my hands shaking as I restrained myself from launching myself at my sister. "Let me get this straight. You withheld the death of my parents from me because you were jealous? Do you not see how screwed up that is? You had absolutely no right to withhold that information from me Rosalie. No right at all. I don't care how you rationalise it in your own head, what you did was fucked up. You want to know what actually happened the night you convinced Jasper not to go home? Oh, yeah, I know about that as well. You want to know what actually happened." I stepped closer, my voice low as I spoke. "Some psycho was trying to kill me, Rosalie. I wasn't cheating on Jasper. If it wasn't for this nice lady," I gestured to Anya and she gave my sister an evil smirk, wiggling her fingers at her, "and her husband, I would be dead. And so would my son. Now, I know that in your screwed up little head, what you did might make sense but to the rest of us here in the sane world, you're an evil bitch and I hope you rot in hell. And any children that are . . . _unfortunate_ enough to have you as a mother . . . well, I pity them and just so you know, there will come a day when they find out who their mommy really is. That she's not who they thought she was. That she's nothing more than a sick, manipulative, underhanded bitch." I stepped back, letting my words sink in as she stood there glaring at me. "Now get out of my office."

She turned to walk away from me before I stopped her. "Rosalie, if you come near my son, I will call the cops. They don't tend to like it when children are threatened. If you know what's good for you, you'll stay away from him. Get out."

She glared at me before storming out of my office. Her husband stood there, staring at me. "What? Realised you didn't know your wife as well as you thought you did?" I nodded towards the door. "You better go. I remember what she's like when she's pissed."

He walked out of the room, following the pissed off blonde to see Anya giggling as she picked up her bag. "You didn't need me at all."

"It's nice to know that you're there if I need you." I shrugged and she laughed, placing her bag on her shoulder. She tapped my on the shoulder as she walked out of the room and I knew that she had a lunch date with Masen.

I let out a breath, sitting down behind my desk, feeling oddly proud of myself.

. . . . . . . . . .

**Anya**

I walked quickly out of the office, following blondie and the big guy out of the door.

"Hey, Blondie!" I spat and she turned around, glaring at me as I stopped in front of her. "Just because Jasper's finally figured you out doesn't mean you can come down here thinking you own the place."

"Who the hell are you?" She seethed, standing up straight. She might have been the same height as me flat foot but my heels were higher than hers meaning that I stood about an inch taller than she did.

"I'm the person that helped your brother piece his life back together after the love of his life and his family left him after he'd been attacked, nearly killed and was expecting a baby. You're not just sick, you're despicable." I smirked, crossing my arms across my chest, which had become quite impressive since I'd gotten pregnant thank you very much. "If you hurt him again, in _any_ way, his little threat in there won't be so scary. You hurt him again and you will regret it. And trust me, you'll never forget it.

"Stay away from Edward and his son." I growled and she stepped back, her eyes widening. "If you don't you will regret it."

I let my threat sink in as I walked away towards my car, a smirk on my face.

Nobody hurts my Rogers and gets away with it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

**Like I said, achy and sore and being pregnant sucks. Apparently it gets better. Hopefully that'll happen soon.**

**Wanna help me feel better with some reviews? I know there are some lurkers out there that haven't reviewed yet. Wanna let me know what you think.**

**On another note, I think that 35nanou's reviews are helping me learn French haha.**

**Anyways, let me know.**


	10. Chapter 10

_**Disclaimer: Again, Stephenie Meyer owns the characters other than Anya and Killian.**_

__**I want to say thank you for all of you wishing me to feel better soon. I guess some of you have been through this as well. I hope it gets better soon. But I did find out today that I am one of nineteen women that are expecting in my building. Six of those (including me) are in my department. That's a lot of hormones, wouldn't you say?**

**On another note: BROKE 100 REVIEWS! Whoop! I love you guys.**

"_So she just turned up at your office?_" He sounded stunned and I laughed, sitting back in my chair.

"Yup," I grinned, popping the 'p'.

"_Girls' got balls._" He laughed and I shrugged, even though he couldn't see me.

"It's Rosalie, should we really expect anything different?" I asked and he chuckled.

Jasper had called me not long after Rosalie had stormed out of my office. I had thought that he was warning me about the outraged blonde that would be storming into my office but he was just letting me know that he'd done it and was wondering if it would be alright if the three of us could get together at the weekend.

It was then that I told him that Rosalie had been into the office and he'd laughed, asking what happened, so I'd told him.

"_What did she say to all that_?" He asked, unable to keep the humour in his voice.

"She didn't have a chance to get anything out after I said what I had to say. I told her to get out and what would happen if she showed her face around me or Killian again." I replied simply, shrugging again, even though he still couldn't hear me. "I have a feeling Anya might have had words with her, though."

"_Why do you say that_?"

"Because it's Anya. You hurt someone she cares about and you pay the price."

"_I guess I'm in a world of pain if she gets her hands on me then, huh_?" He sounded slightly nervous and I didn't blame him. Anya would make him work to prove himself to her. She wasn't going to let it go quickly. I think he knew that.

What he didn't know though was that Anya knew that I knew what I was doing. She trusted my judgement but was able to put me in my place if she felt I needed it. She didn't pull punches and I knew that what with her expecting, her hormones were going to be going haywire. I kind of felt sorry for Jasper when he met her.

She was going to make him work for it.

I took a breath, knowing that what I had decided on Saturday was what I needed to do. I had to set some boundaries with regards to my relationship to Jasper. I wasn't going to stop him from seeing Killian but I didn't want to risk the hurt that it could potentially cause him if Jasper and I were to get involved again and it didn't work out.

Anya was right. I still loved him and I didn't think I would ever stop but this might be one of those times when love might not be enough. I was going to have to learn to trust him with Killian somewhat but I didn't know whether I could trust him with my heart again.

They always say that your heart and your head hardly ever agree with each other on things of this matter and I had to admit that this was one of those times.

My heart was trying to convince me to give Jasper another shot. That I needed him around and not just for Killian. That I _wanted_ him around, which I did.

My head on the other hand. It had a very simple opinion on the matter.

My head was telling me _'hahahahahahaha (serious face) you're fucked'._

Yeah, not so much of the agreement thing going on here.

"Hey, um . . . are you free for lunch?" I asked, glancing at the clock, seeing that it was almost a quarter past eleven.

"_Sure_," I could hear his voice lighten slightly at my words and I clenched my eyes clothes, gripping my hair harshly. "_Where did you want to meet_?"

"Um . . . how about Pincrest Diner at twelve?" I asked, letting out a breath. It was around twenty minutes from my office but it was neutral ground and I had to admit, it did damn good food.

We agreed that we would meet there and I hung up, running a hand through my hair. "Hey," I looked up seeing Anya standing in front of me, a grin on her face.

"Hey," I couldn't help but grin back. She'd had another scan this morning. Something she'd organised for Masen, so that he could see the baby and not have to wait until the twenty week scan she would have at the hospital. This one had been done at a private facility so that she could have it done. I wasn't sure how much it cost but I knew that it wouldn't matter to Anya. Seeing her husband happy was the only thing that mattered to her.

Of course, having him treat her to lunch afterwards didn't hurt.

"How did it go?" I asked and she grinned, showing me a scan photo. I couldn't help but grin seeing the little peanut shape on the paper in my hand. It was because of those scans I'd had that I'd called Killian Peanut. I had started when I'd had my first scan and it had just stuck. Of course I knew that it probably wasn't going to last much longer. He would soon be getting too old to have a nickname like Peanut.

I was going to make the most of it while I could.

"It went great. He had tears in his eyes. I didn't mean to make him cry."

"It wasn't your fault. It's overwhelming, knowing you're going to be a parent. I mean, you starting crying at your first scan, didn't you?" She glared at me before blushing and smiling as she nodded. "It makes you emotional."

"It's getting kind of annoying though. He's treating me like I'm made of porcelain and it's starting to bug me." She moaned, sitting down in the chair across from my desk. I often wondered whether I should just stamp her name on the back of the chair like they did on movie sets.

She was the one who used it the most.

"It's the only way that he can get involved." She scowled at me and I held my hands up. I knew it from her side of the story, which meant that I understood how she was feeling. Of course, I had been in kind of a fragile state of mind when I was pregnant with Killian. The two of them had taken care of me when I needed them the most and I would be forever grateful for the two of them coming along when they did.

If anything happened to me, I had made arrangements for Killian to be put into their care. That would stand unless Jasper could prove to me that he would be there no matter what. I hadn't been around him long enough to see if Killian really did come before everything else. While I understood that sometimes there were things at work that you just can't get out of. That there are clients that won't back down no matter how important something at home was, they had to be seen _right now_ but Killian didn't. Killian was four. All he would know was that there was something out there more important to his newly acquired Papa than he was.

I had to know where Jasper stood on everything.

If Killian knew that he was not going to be around at a certain time, then he would be okay but if he was expecting him to be there and then he just wasn't then it would confuse him.

I needed to know what was going to happen with him.

At ten to twelve I walked through the doors to Pinecrest diner, quickly being approached by a young hostess. She smiled at me, batting her eyelashes as she led me to a table. I let her know that I was meeting someone here and to show him to the table I was at when he arrived.

It was an excruciating ten minute wait as I had the hostess hanging around, asking if I needed or wanted anything and had a waitress eyeing me from where she was wrapping cutlery. I wasn't sure that I was comfortable with that.

"Hey, I'm not late, am I?" I looked up at him and smiling at his windblown hair. He took off his jacket, hanging it over the back of the chair on the other side of the table before sitting down, his eyes bright as he looked at me.

"No, I just got here a little early, that's all." I chuckled, glancing at the scary women that were hanging around. "I'm kind of glad you're here now though. I think the hostess might want to eat me and not in a good way."

He laughed, reaching across and taking my hand in his, winking at me. I glanced up at the hostess to see her face fall slightly as she stalked away. I smirked at him, silently telling him that it had worked. He looked down as he let go of my hand.

The waitress came over and handed us some menus, giving the both of us a smile as we ordered some drinks. Both of us were strictly on soft drinks, not wanting to go back into work under the influence.

"So," he sighed, handing his menu over to the waitress after we ordered our meals. "What did you want to talk about?" I raised an eyebrow at him and he chuckled. "It's obvious you didn't ask to meet me just because. There's something you want to talk about. There's nothing wrong with Killian, is there?"

He sat up straight, a mild panic appearing in his eyes. "No," I shook my head, waving him off. "Killian's fine. Probably covering some poor unsuspecting child in fingerpaints as we speak." He chuckled, looking slightly nervous and I gave him a smile. "He's fine."

"So . . ." He leaned forward, clearly wondering what I had asked him to meet me about.

"I do want to talk to you about Killian." I sighed, taking a sip of my coke. "He has a routine during the week and that's not something I want to break." He nodded, understanding, taking a gulp of his own drink. "I think . . . if we kept it to weekends for the time being. You know, days out, things like that. Or even just lunch at the house, maybe dinner. Keep things simple." I had this rehearsed so much better in my head.

"I agree." He nodded, giving me a small smile. "Don't want to overwhelm him. I meant what I said when you called me on Saturday, Edward. I want to be there for him. I've missed enough through my own stupidity," I sat up straighter but he held up a hand, "don't say anything. I know that Rosalie had some part to play in it but I was the one that made the decision not to go home that night. If I had, I wouldn't have missed out on the first four years of Killian's life. I've missed so much so far. I don't want to miss anything else." I gave him a small smile at his words, hearing the honesty behind them.

"Well, in that case, maybe someday soon you can experience the fun that is bedtime." I smirked as the waitress came back over placing our food in front of us and asking if we needed anything else. We both declined and she nodded before walking away.

"Sounds like it's interesting." He grinned and I chuckled, shaking my head. He had no idea. "Do you have to go back to the office today?" He asked and I thought about what I had on my schedule for the day. I shook my head, making a mental note to make sure that I could catch up with the work I hadn't been able to get done today. "Will you come somewhere with me?" I raised an eyebrow at him and he chuckled. "I have something I want to show you."

"Okay." I nodded, holding up a finger as I pulled out my phone. I quickly called Bella, letting her know that I wouldn't be back in the office today and she told me that James Harper had called again. I told her that I'd deal with it in the morning, not wanting to deal with him right now. Not that I would when I was outside the office but he was like a terrier that wouldn't let go. I told her to relay the message to Anya and Jason and she told me she would.

I smiled at Jasper as I hung up the phone, putting it back in my pocket.

We ate our lunch, talking about nothing of any real consequence. He groaned as his phone rang from his jacket pocket, looking at me apologetically. I nodded, letting him know that it was alright for him to answer it.

"I'll make it quick." He grinned and I chuckled, finishing off my hamburger. "Yeah?" It was obviously someone he knew well otherwise I doubt he would have answered the phone that way. "I told you it could wait until I got back into the office in the morning." He sighed, his posture stiffening slightly. "I don't care what the man says, if he wants the products and the endorsements, he'll wait another twenty hours. Look, I'm having lunch with Edward right now and I won't be back in the office until the morning." His features darkened slightly at whatever the person on the other end of the phone had said. Apparently it wasn't something Jasper wanted to hear because he snapped that he was busy and hung up.

"Everything okay?" I asked and he sighed, pushing his food around his plate before looking up at me.

"Yeah, it's just Demetri's been acting weird over the last couple of weeks." He sighed, sitting back in his seat. "It's like he wants me to do nothing but work."

"He's probably just making sure you're not slacking." I smirked and he rolled his eyes at my words. "Wanna get out of here?" I asked and he nodded, calling the waitress for the check.

We argued about who was paying and I was in the middle of stating the fact that I was the one that had invited him out to lunch, so I should pay that he called the waitress over to the table, slipping his credit card into the booklet and telling her to hurry. I glared at him and he chuckled saying that I could pay next time. I wasn't sure that I wanted there to be a 'next time'. At least not any time soon.

We walked out of the diner and he nodded towards his car, saying, quite rightly that I had no idea where I was going. I rolled my eyes as I rolled him over to where he had parked his car. I looked longingly at my Volvo, not wanting to leave it where it was and he laughed.

"Never pictured you driving a Volvo." He chuckled as he pulled out into the street.

"The safety on them is highly recommended, especially with little ones." I pointed out and he nodded.

"Maybe I should invest in one." I could hear the hope in his voice so I didn't say anything against his words.

He was trying and that was what mattered.

I was slightly surprised when we turned into a residential area, rows on brownstones either side of us. Jasper pulled up to the curb, parking the car and smirking at me. I followed him out of the car and walked up the steps, curious as he unlocked a door to one of the houses.

I followed him into the house, awed at the size of the house. It was so much bigger inside than it looked from the sidewalk.

The foyer was huge, opening out into the expanse of the kitchen, doors leading off into what I guessed was to be the living room. There was a staircase in front of us and I looked up, seeing that there were at least three floors to this place.

"What is this, Jasper?" I asked and he chuckled.

"Well, I thought it was a house but I might be mistaken."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Ha ha." I turned back to look around at what I could see.

"To be more specific, it's _my_ house." I turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow. "Closed it on Friday."

"How come you didn't say anything about it?" Yeah, I guessed that on Friday, we'd been concerned with other things that took precedence and something else I knew that we had to deal with, but maybe being alone with him in an empty house wasn't the best time to get into that. But we'd been together all day on Sunday. Why didn't he say anything about it then?

"I wanted you to see it before I said anything." He shrugged, looking slightly sheepish.

"You wanted to show me an enormous house that you'd bought to live in?" I was extremely confused and part of me knew that he knew that. "Why do you need all this space?"

"I didn't just buy it for me, Edward." He sighed, looking down at his feet. "I wanted somewhere that Killian would have space to play. I realised that a penthouse probably wasn't the best place for the little guy, so I looked around a bit. This place has its own neighbourhood watch, there's little traffic, not that I'd let him out there on his own anyway," I nodded, having been on the scary end of Killian seeing something shiny and taking off after it once or twice before, "it has a yard as well." He gestured towards the back of the house and I followed him round to look out the large windows out the back of the kitchen. It was slightly overgrown but it wouldn't take long to sort out. "I'm going to get someone in to clean it up, you know make it suitable for him but it also means that I can keep an eye on him if I'm or we're inside. And having the space means that if he's here and it's not so good outside, he can play in here without getting bored." He looked at me, biting down on his lip. "I bought this so that I had a decent place to bring Killian. If it's alright with you."

"Jasper, this place is incredible." I chuckled, looking around at the enormous house we were standing in. "Wait? Friday. That was before you'd even met him." He shrugged, nodding silently and I knew then that he was committed to being in Killian's life before he'd even known how long it would take me to make the decision to let him into his life.

He nodded for me to follow him and we walked up the stairs. "I was going to get some stair gates, to make sure that he's safe and everything." He looked worried and I snorted, laughing as I followed him up the stairs. "What?"

"There won't be any need for those. Not that they'd do much good anyway." He raised an eyebrow and I shrugged. "He knows how to get through them. They never worked. Ever since he was three, he's been able to open them. The sneaky little shit." He laughed and I couldn't fight the grin.

He showed me around the house, showing me the elevator that was in there because of the fact that the previous owner had been in a wheelchair before he died. He was going to work out a way to block it off before long, not wanting Killian to get in there and get stuck. I agreed with his reasoning. Killian had a penchant for getting into places he wasn't supposed to go and it had a tendency to piss me off sometimes. I didn't let it show, just letting him know that he wasn't supposed to do that and not to do it again.

Surprisingly, he didn't.

"And this . . . will be my room." He grinned and I chuckled, walking into the room, my footsteps echoing in here as they had everywhere else in the house. There wasn't any furniture in the house and I had to admit, the place had great acoustics.

I looked around the room, noting the walk in wardrobe and en suite. I felt my brow furrow as I looked around the room. "Is it smaller than it should be?" I asked and he grinned at me, walking over towards the mirror that was next to the window.

"You know, I didn't even notice." He chuckled, pressing on the mirror. It opened, revealing a concealed room behind it. "It has a panic room." He nodded and I stuck my head inside the concrete outlined room. There were monitors along one wall and a phone next to them. "I didn't even realise until I bought the place and leaned against the mirror."

"How did you not know?" I asked, looking at him and he shrugged.

"No one at the real estate office knew." He pointed towards the top hand corner of the bedroom and I noticed that there was a camera there. "They cover every corner of the house."

"Safety first, huh?" I asked and he nodded, chuckling. "This place is amazing."

"Would it be okay . . . if I gave Killian a room here?" He asked and I sucked in a breath.

"Let's see if he likes the house, first." I hedged and he nodded.

Who was I kidding? Killian was going to love this place.

I think Jasper knew that I wasn't anywhere close to letting him keep Killian for the night and might not be ready to for a while yet. I didn't like spending the night away from my baby when it was with people I trusted with my life. He was more than my life. I was everything that I am and I had to make Jasper realise that.

And looking around this house and what he had told me he was going to do with the place to make it safe for Killian, I didn't think it would take much convincing. I just had to get him to the same level of love for my . . . no . . . _our_ little boy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

**If you think of the house from Panic Room (in which, when I started watching it for the first time, I did think Kristen Stewart was a boy. Don't judge, I'm not the only one) that's the house I'm going for with Jasper's new house.**

**What do you think?**

**Is he proving himself little by little when it comes to Killian? Edward's starting to trust him a little more when he says he wants to be there for him but not when it comes to his own heart.**

**Let me know what you think.**


	11. Chapter 11

___**Disclaimer: Again, Stephenie Meyer owns the characters other than Anya and Killian**_

__**You guys are absolutely awesome. I'm thrilled with the reception this story has gotten. I was really nervous about posting this story but I had nothing to worry about as it seems.**

**Loads of you have given me some really good tips about how to keep the nausea away and they're working! So thank you all for that!**

**A lot of you are curious about the panic room in Jasper's house and I promise, you'll understand soon. I'm not spilling about anything that'll happen in the story but don't worry, it'll all become clear before long. Now I will let you know that there won't be an update until at least Tuesday, maybe Wednesday as I'm going away for a long weekend.**

**Well, on with the chapter.**

**Enjoy!**

Over the next month or so, the three of us fell into a routine with our time. I had told Jasper that I didn't want to disrupt Killian's routine too much, wanting to make sure that he knew that Jasper would be around on the weekends but during the week it would just be him and me.

During the first week, he would ask me periodically about where Jasper was and on the Wednesday when I told him that Jasper wouldn't be coming round until the weekend I got the front row seat to one of Killian's tantrum. Thankfully, he didn't throw them very often but when they appeared, they were epic.

I amused myself by wondering how Jasper would react when he had his first one to deal with.

That could be interesting because I would be making him fly solo with that one. It would test him about what kind of parent he was going to be. Would he give in and give Killian what he wanted to stop the screaming – because that boy could sure as hell scream – or would he stick to his guns and make sure that Killian knew who was boss when it came to the parent/child relationship.

I always made sure that Killian knew that there were rules for grown-ups and rules for children. He knew what his rules were and he also knew that they would change as he got older. He understood that there were times when Daddy or another grown up would say a bad word but he also knew that he was not allowed to use them himself. He was allowed to ask me or another grown-up what it meant but if he was told it was a bad word then it meant he couldn't use it. One of the other mothers had heard Killian ask me what the word 'shit' meant when we were walking into day care one day. I had just told him that it was a bad word and we don't say it.

She had asked me how I let him get away with that kind of language. I had replied swiftly and smoothly with the fact that he had obviously heard it from one of the other adults around – because I limited my language around him and made sure I censored my words around him – and that he was only asking what it meant. She huffed at me, clearly not happy with my answer.

How the hell he is supposed to know what the 'bad words' were if he had never heard them before and wasn't told as such.

He knew not to push me when he made me angry. He knew when he was taking it too far when I told him to go into the second study the house had. He hated it in there and normally did everything to avoid going in there.

From the moment that he had starting pushing the boundaries, I'd had that in place. I wasn't stupid enough to send him to his room. That's where all his toys were. There wasn't anything in the second study other than a desk and a couch. He didn't like it in there because there was nothing for him to do.

And of course that was the whole point.

I placed him in there on Wednesday after his tantrum and left him in there for ten minutes. Normally, it was a minute for every age, just like my parents had done with me and my sister. He knew that when I didn't come back after a long time, he was really in trouble and had upset me.

When I went back into the room after ten minutes, he was sitting on the couch, looking down at his hands, a frown on his face. When he heard the door open, he looked up at me before launching himself off the couch and clinging to my legs, saying that he was sorry. I had knelt down and wrapped my arms around him as he clung to me.

I had made sure that he knew that his tantrum had upset me and he nodded saying he wouldn't do it again. He would at some point and I knew it but I hoped it wouldn't be for a long time. After a hug and a kiss, I let him out, closing the door after me and he ran off into the kitchen, all thoughts of his tantrum and subsequent punishment forgotten.

It was when I had been flicking through TV channels after Killian's first epic tantrum and after the first time I'd used the room, I'd come across the British show Supernanny. It turned out that she used the same thing that I'd had used on me when I was little and was going to be using with my own child.

Must be doing something right if her techniques were working.

I had let Jasper know about how Killian was to be handled when he threw a temper tantrum and he had looked sufficiently terrified. I smirked, shaking my head and letting him know that he would have to deal with it sooner or later.

He didn't look too pleased with me.

Meh, he's a father to a toddler now. He's gonna have to learn sometime.

Killian had learned pretty quickly that at the weekend, Jasper would join us. In just a few short weeks, we'd come into a routine where Jasper would arrive at our house on Saturday morning just before breakfast and stay with us during the day. We would fill the day with inane little tasks that kept him amused and allowed the two of them to bond. Jasper would stay for dinner and the first weekend that happened he had his first taste of Killian at bath and bedtime.

To be honest, I wasn't sure he knew what to make of the four year old streaking through the room. I had to laugh at his expression as he sat there, clearly in shock.

_I sighed as Killian's naked little butt once again flew out of the bathroom at a speed that shouldn't be possible for someone so small. Why couldn't he just cooperate for once?_

_I followed him down the stairs, knowing that he would be hiding in the little spot he liked to occupy down in the utility room. It didn't escape my notice or amusement that he chose what was naturally the coldest room in the house to hide in when he wasn't wearing anything._

_I stopped at the bottom of the stairs, laughing as I saw Jasper sitting there, eyes wide, a look of shock in his face as he stared straight ahead of him._

"_You okay?" I asked and he looked at me, his eyes still wide. "What's the matter?"_

"_Killian." He stuttered, shaking his head. "Naked. No clothes."_

_I laughed, shaking my head. Of course he was shocked at seeing him run through here without a stitch on. "Don't worry, this is normal. He hides in the same place every time so he's pretty easy to find."_

"_This is normal?" He asked looking shocked and I nodded. "How often does he do this?"_

"_Oh, just about every time he has to take a bath." I shrugged, laughing. "His state of undress depends on when he can slip away. Ever since he could walk there has been a grand total of four times when I've managed to get him into the bath without him pulling a disappearing act."_

"_Four times?" He asked and I nodded, laughing._

"_It's something you get used to." I chuckled before I walked off towards the utility room to try and get my dirty four year old into his bath before the water went cold._

The weekends generally followed the same pattern and Killian was getting used to the fact that his Papa was around on the weekends and not during the week. Apart from this weekend. I could curse some parents that decided that their careers were more important than their kid not feeling well.

Half of Killian's day care was out with a stomach flu which my little one had decided to bring home.

I pulled myself back into my bedroom, seeing Killian curled up in my covers, feeling as crappy as I was but at the moment he was sleeping soundly. I crawled back into bed, pulling him to me as I grabbed my phone calling Jasper. I held the phone to my ear.

"Morning!" He sang and I grumbled in return. I sat up slightly, earning myself a disgruntled little moan from Killian. He had it as bad as I did. Neither of us were going to be fun to be around any time soon. "Everything okay?"

"Define okay." I sighed, running my fingers through Killian's hair gently being careful not to wake him. My poor little guy had been up since two o'clock this morning throwing up and sleeping on and off. And I hated to say that I wasn't that far behind him.

"What's the matter?" He sounded worried and cursed myself.

"Killian and I aren't going to be much fun to be around today. In all honesty, I'm going to warn you to keep your distance." He asked me what happened and I dropped my head back onto my pillows. "One of the smarty pants parents at Killian's day care sent their kid in with a stomach virus on Thursday. Half the kids are out, including our lovely little boy and guess who he's given it to." I chuckled, immediately regretting it. "I'd stay away if I were you."

"Nuh-uh." I glanced at the phone, wondering what that meant. "If you guys are sick, you shouldn't be alone."

"Jasper, I don't want you getting sick as well."

"If I get sick, then I get sick. The two of you mean more to me than that." It didn't escape my notice that he'd said 'the two of you' and not just Killian. What did he mean by that?

"You're not going to be much help to anyone if you're praying to the porcelain gods like the two of us are."

"I'll pick up some crackers and ginger ale and some other things that won't be too hard on your stomachs on my way. I'll see you in a bit." I didn't get a chance to argue before he hung up and I sighed, closing my eyes and dropping my phone on the bedside table.

"Well, looks like Papa's on his way round." I muttered, sliding down the bed and wrapping myself around my little boy, hoping to get a little bit of sleep before either one of our stomachs decided it had been too long for between rebellions.

I was woken a little while later to my phone ringing. I sleepily glanced around before picking it up, knowing that it was Jasper. He told me that he was at the front door so I slowly got out of bed, standing up straight, waiting for the cue from my stomach to tell me if I could head downstairs to let him in. When it didn't churn and make me run for the bathroom, I grabbed my robe and slowly made my way downstairs. I unlocked the door, seeing Jasper standing there, bags in hand.

"Wow, no offense, but you look like shit." He chuckled and I rolled my eyes.

"Thanks," I shot back, my tone full of sarcasm. "Can't say I feel much better either."

"Where's the little man?" He asked, following me into the house and closing the door behind him.

"Sleeping in my bed at the moment." I sighed, flopping down onto the sofa and resting my head on the back on the sofa, watching him in the kitchen from where I was sat.

"Well, here's what's going to happen." He turned and looked at me, giving me a no-nonsense, no arguments expression. Even if I had the energy to fight back at the moment, that expression told me I shouldn't. "You're going to go upstairs and get Killian, I'm going make the two of you some soup, something light so it won't upset your stomachs, which means no bread with it," he gave me a small smile as my face fell. He knew how much I loved bread and butter with my soup. It wouldn't be the same otherwise. "I'm going to upstairs and air out your room, just open a couple of windows and leave the door open, try and air it out. I'm guessing that's where the two of you have been the majority of the time, right?" He asked and I nodded. Since he'd been sick, Killian had joined me in my bed, not wanting to be alone. "Right, where do you keep your spare sheets?"

"Huh?"

"Your bed is going to be full of germs at the moment. I'm going to strip the bed, put all your sheets in the wash and re-make your bed." I gave him a small smile. While I'd thought about the fact that the two of us were ill, I hadn't had the energy to do much of anything over the last day and a half after Killian had brought the bug home. "I might need some guidance with the washing machine though because I've seen that thing and it looks complicated as hell."

I chuckled, shaking my head. "All the settings are already set all you need to do is push the big on/off button until the lights flash and the little red one keeps flashing. Put the detergent in and close the door, you have to slam it though until the red light stays on and then you push the big button again and voila. Wash is on."

"Right. I think I got that." He muttered, motioning for me stay there apparently, rethinking the part of the plan where I get Killian. "Mind if I get him?" I shook my head, closing my eyes, kind of thankful I didn't have to get up.

He made his way up the stairs and I was glad that I always put dirty clothes in the hamper. At least with a little one around I knew to keep everything embarrassing out of sight and reach. Otherwise, there was a chance he could get his hands on it and decide to show everyone that happened to be in the house at that point what it was. Cue most embarrassing moment of your life. Ever since that happened to a friend of mine with her little girl and some . . . . um . . . . unmentionables, I'd made sure that everything Killian shouldn't be getting his hands on was out of reach.

I heard Jasper's footsteps coming down the stairs slowly. I glanced up to see him carefully carrying Killian down the stairs. He was still zonked out in his arms and he passed him over to me as if he was made of glass. He immediately curled into me and I rested my cheek on top of his head.

I closed my eyes for a moment, lifting my head as I felt jasper laying a blanket over the top of us.

"Thank you." I said softly and he gave me a small smile. I pulled the blanket around the two of us, my stomach rolling with all the movement as Killian shifted against me.

I let myself drift off as Jasper made himself busy in the kitchen. I heard him head upstairs again and I guessed that he was stripping the bed and airing out the room like he said he would. I couldn't help but smile as I thought about how he didn't care whether he got sick, which he probably would do now.

"Daddy." I opened my eyes to see Killian looking up at me, his eyes tired and weary as he looked up me. "I don't feel well."

"It's alright." I said softly not really caring if I felt like shit but hating the fact that he was feeling the same way. I silently cursed the parent that had sent their sick child into day care. Who does that?! They had told me when I'd called in for Killian that they had half of the class out with it.

I wondered what Jasper was doing in the kitchen as I heard him puttering around, opening cabinets and turning the cooker on. I couldn't place what he was doing but if I had to guess, I'd say he was making the soup from scratch. Wouldn't surprise me. Jasper was funny about his food. He didn't like to eat something that was out of a can or box when he could make it himself.

It wasn't long before Jasper was walking back into the living room. I opened my eyes to see him setting a tray with two small bowls of soup on the coffee table.

"Hey," he gave me a smile which I couldn't stop myself from returning. "You feeling any better?"

"Not really." I replied, judging the nausea that was still rolling round my stomach. I sat up slowly, being careful to try to not jostle Killian as I moved.

"Here." He handed me one of the bowls which already had a spoon in it. "Eat it slowly." He warned and I rolled my eyes at him. He chuckled and I sat up a little more, stirring the soup slowly. "Leek and potato. Your favourite. Both the potato and leeks finely chopped, just how you like it."

"Thank you." I whispered and he raised an eyebrow at me.

"For what?"

"This," I gestured towards the soup and looked back at the kitchen and down at Killian. "For all of this. You didn't have to come over here and do this."

"Of course I did." He said softly, running his fingers across the tips of Killian's hair. "You guys need looking after so that's what I'm going to do." I had a couple of spoonfuls of the soup he'd made, which I had to admit, was delicious but I couldn't get anymore down. My stomach started to rebel and I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath, willing the sick feeling down. "You okay?" He asked and I shook my head, keeping my eyes closed. I felt him take the bowl from me and I was kind of grateful for that.

I felt Killian being lifted off of me and my eyes flew open as my head flew up, an action which did not bode well for my stomach and I saw the reason Jasper had taken him off of my lap as I bolted off the sofa and into the downstairs bathroom.

I let out a few breaths as I rested my head on my arm, my stomach still rolling. I heard Jasper behind me and I moaned quietly, not wanting him to see me like this.

"Hey," I felt his hand on my back gently, rubbing soft circles on my back. I let out a breath leaning against the wall next to the toilet, pulling the flush. "Better?" He smirked and I flipped him off which only made him laugh. He moved and sat next to me, putting an arm around me. "How can I help? You know I hate seeing you sick."

"You already are helping. Just by being here." I said softly, looking up at him.

"Anything I can get you?" He asked, playing with the hair at the base of my neck, something he always used to do when I was sick when we were together. It was slightly unsettling and made me wonder how he felt about the situation between the two of us. He hadn't mentioned anything about the two of us. When we talked, it generally centred around Killian. I didn't know anything that was going through his mind.

"No, I'm good here at the moment. But I do have the strangest craving for crackerjacks." He snorted and I chuckled gently, moaning as my stomach rolled again.

"Crackerjacks?" He asked and I nodded, feeling slightly confused.

"Yeah, which is weird." He raised an eyebrow at me and I shrugged. "I don't know. It _is_ weird. I haven't wanted crackerjacks since . . ."

_. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ._


	12. Chapter 12

___**Disclaimer: Again, Stephenie Meyer owns the characters other than Anya and Killian who in my opinion rock!**_

__**I want to say a HUGE thank you to all of you for all your support with this story! It's reception has been amazing and I can't help but smile whenever I see a review come in.**

I paced back and forth across my living room, running my hands through my hair, tugging at the ends.

How could this happen again?

Yes, I might have made the mistake of sleeping with Jasper again. Yes, even though I didn't regret it at all, it was a mistake. Even though it had happened, we had been careful. We'd used a condom. How the fuck could this have happened.

I stopped, letting out a breath, trying to calm down. I wasn't even one hundred per cent sure that I was expecting again. It had been an hour or so since I'd seen the doctor and had a blood test. Thankfully, Dr Banner, the doctor I'd had when I'd moved to California and seen when I was expecting Killian was available. He knew what he was looking for and apparently had had two more male patients since I'd had Killian. I had to calm down. I might not even be.

Seriously? What are the chances?

I couldn't help my hand moving to my stomach as I stood there.

What would happen if I was?

I knew that I couldn't wave it off as a mistake like I had last time. When they told me that I was pregnant with Killian, I laughed it off, thinking that they were stupid. I couldn't be pregnant. I was a man after all. Men don't get pregnant. At least, that's what I used to think.

This time, I knew that it was a possibility so I wasn't taking any chances.

Hence the fact that I was now pacing around my living room, waiting for Jasper to arrive. I had to tell him as soon as possible, even if it turned out that it was a false alarm, he needed to know.

There was a knock at the door and my breath caught in my throat. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down as I walked towards the door, opening it and giving Jasper a small smile.

"Hey," he looked concerned and I stepped back, letting him into the house. "Is everything okay?"

"I need to talk to you." I sighed and he froze, stopping and turning to look at me.

"Uh oh."

"Uh oh? What uh oh?"

"That one sentence has the power to make you remember every single bad thing you did in your whole life." He chuckled and I ran my hand through my hair, shaking my head. "Not really the most inspiring way to start a conversation."

I sighed, shaking my head. "You didn't Jasper but . . . there is something I need to talk to you about?"

"What is it?" The concerned look was back. "Is there something wrong with Killian?" He asked, glancing upstairs and I shook my head, slightly liking the fact that his first thoughts were about his child.

"Killian's fine. Probably tormenting all of the children at day care now he's back to full health." I chuckled and Jasper rolled his eyes, smirking alongside me. Thankfully, come Monday Killian had been feeling better and after a quick check up that morning was fine to go back to day care on Tuesday morning. Unfortunately, I wasn't feeling so much better. After the possibility had hit me straight in the face, I hadn't been able to focus on much else. Getting Killian ready for day care was like second nature, so it was automatic movements.

Unfortunately, waiting for the results of the blood test I'd had done on Tuesday morning was not something I could get used to.

"So, what's going on?" He asked, stepping towards me and I shook my head, taking a deep breath, motioning towards the living room. I think he got the idea that it would be best for us to sit down and even though he wanted to know what was going on, getting settled was important.

He sat down on the sofa and I took a seat on the chair next to it, letting out a breath.

"I um . . . need to talk to you about something." I said softly and he nodded.

"You said that already." I nodded, letting out a breathy chuckle. "Edward, what's going on?"

"You remember when you came round and we talked?" He nodded, looking even more confused and I ran my hands up and down my thighs, cursing the fact that they were now sweaty and clammy. Why was this so hard? "And you remember that we uh . . .?" He nodded, smiling at me. "Okay," I whispered, looking down at my hands, "you remember when I was sick and wanted crackerjacks?" He nodded, his eyebrows rising and I chuckled, running a hand through my hair. "Well, the last time I wanted crackerjacks was . . ."

"Was?" He urged, starting to look worried and I couldn't blame him. He shifted so that he was sitting right on the edge of the sofa.

"Was when I was pregnant with Killian." I whispered and he froze, his eyes widening. He didn't respond and I bit my lip, wondering if he was freaking out or not.

"I'm sorry," he chuckled, shaking his head. "What?"

"There's a chance I'm pregnant." I clarified and he let out a breath, running a hand through his hair before looking up at me.

"Are you sure?"

I shrugged, shaking my head. "I don't know." I replied honestly. "The only other time I wanted them was when I was expecting Killian and that . . . kind of got me thinking . . . what if? I went and got a blood test yesterday so we should know in soon." I looked down at my hands, not wanting to look at Jasper. I didn't want to know what his reaction was in case it wasn't a good one.

His hands came into my line of sight as they gripped mine. I closed my eyes as a finger was hooked under my chin. He moved my head up, trying to make me look at him.

"Hey, open your eyes." He whispered and I slowly looked at him. "You're scared." He said softly and I nodded, feeling my eyes well up. "Don't worry. If you're not, that's fine, it's better to be sure and if you are, we'll work it out."

"Are you sure?" I asked, my voice breaking slightly as I sniffed and he nodded giving me a small smile.

"Of course." He whispered, pulling me close to him, wrapping his arms around me. "I'm kind of confused how it happened though. I mean, we used-"

"I know!" I pulled away from him, wiping my eyes. "I don't know how it happened. You must have like. . . I don't know . . . super-sperm or something." I let out a breath as he chuckled. "I don't know."

"Whatever the result is, we'll deal with it, okay?" I nodded and he gave me a small smile. "I gotta say though, if you are . . . I'm not upset."

"Really?"

"Really." He smiled, running his thumb over my knuckles gently. "I can understand why you think I would be but . . . I'm really not. Actually, I'm kind of hoping that you are." He said softly, one of his hands moving to rest on my stomach gently. He looked up at me, his eyes shining gently and I couldn't help but smile. "How long do test results take to come back?" He asked and I thought for a moment.

"I can't remember. I think it can take anywhere from an hour onwards." I shrugged, being honest with him. I didn't really know the procedure when it came to blood tests. Not my thing.

Jasper stood up, pulling me up before he sat down on the sofa, pulling me with him. He wrapped an arm around me, pulling me to him. I rested my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat under my ear. He rested his hand against my stomach and I closed my eyes. It didn't escape my notice that we were extremely close. I tried to think about what had happened this afternoon. I had called Anya, letting her know that I wouldn't be in today and she had pestered me, trying to figure out why. I had let her know that she would find out but I had some things to figure out first. She wasn't happy with my answer but let it go and I knew she wasn't going to let it go. I was prepared for her but I hadn't been prepared for Jasper.

In all honesty, I hadn't known what to expect when it came to Jasper. I never did nowadays.

There had been a time when I could read him like a book but as time had passed, he had become closed off and hardened. It was hard for me to reconcile this Jasper with the Jasper I'd known from college and our relationship. He was completely different to how he had been back then.

I heard something buzzing and Jasper moved slightly, pulling his phone out of his pocket. I looked up to see him looking at his phone, rolling his eyes before rejecting the call. I raised an eyebrow at him and he shook his head, letting out a breath.

"Demetri." He sighed and I sat up.

"What is it?" I asked as he ran a hand through his hair. "What's going on?"

"I don't know. I think that something's going on with him. He's been arguing with his father about something and it's making him stressed out at work. But unfortunately, it's affecting his word, especially now that Rosalie is gone. He's got twice as much to do and it means that he's getting strung out about everything. And it's wearing on me a little. I just . . . I just want to be able to go an hour or so away from the office without my cell going off. With this going on," his hand came to rest on my stomach again, "I don't really want to talk to Demetri."

"I can understand that." I sighed, looking at the pictures on the mantel. "But you can't just ignore your work. I mean, you're the CEO. It's _your_ company. You need to be there when they need you."

"Yeah, I know but they can deal without me for a couple of hours."

I snorted as his phone started to ring again and he rolled his eyes again. "Apparently they can't." He sighed, looking at the display. "Answer it. If you don't, he's just going to keep calling."

He gave me an expression that told me he was sorry and I waved him off. He pressed against my stomach lightly before standing up and answering the phone, walking into the kitchen.

I rested my arm on the back of the sofa, resting my head on my hand as I closed my eyes, trying to block out Jasper's conversation. I heard him getting aggravated with Demetri and I sighed gently.

My head shot up as my phone started vibrating across the table. I picked it up seeing that it was an unknown number filling the screen. I let out a breath, answering the call.

"Hello?" My voice was shaky and I silently cursed myself.

"_Good afternoon, is this Edward Cullen I'm speaking to?"_

"Yes," I cleared my throat, "yes, it is."

"_Good afternoon, Mr Cullen, this is Heidi calling from Dr Banner's office._" I smiled, remembering Heidi from when I'd gone in for appointments.

"Hi," I gripped the material of my sweats , wondering what she would tell me.

"_I have the results of the blood test you had done yesterday morning._" I nodded, knowing that she couldn't see my but not really caring. "_Mr Cullen, I can confirm that you are pregnant. We would like to schedule an appointment for a scan as soon as possible. Now, I know you're probably processing so if you could give us a call back as soon as possible that would be great."_

"Yeah, of course. Thank you, Heidi." I said goodbye to her, hanging up and flopping back on the sofa. I rested a hand on my stomach, letting out a choked breath. There was a life growing inside me again. Well, I doubted it looked anything like a human being right now. It was more like a bunch of cells at the moment, if I remembered correctly from the baby books I'd been bombarded with when I was expecting Killian.

Jasper was still on the phone, looking at me curiously as I placed my phone back on the coffee table. He furrowed his brows at me and I bit my lip.

"Alright!" He sighed, frustrated, running a hand through his hair. "Look, I'll be in in a little while. I'll get there when I get there, alright." He hung up the phone, rushing over to me, sitting down next to me, an expectant look on his face. I couldn't help but laugh at his look. "What?"

"I'm sorry," I chuckled, shaking my head. "You just look like a puppy looking for his next meal."

"Come on," apparently, he wasn't impressed with that. "What did they say?"

I inhaled a large breath, letting it out slowly. "You have any names you prefer?" I asked, shrugging and he blinked a couple of times before a huge grin spread across his face.

He launched himself at me, wrapping his arms around me and crushing me to him as he laughed. "Seriously?" He asked and I nodded, smiling. He grinned down at me and I couldn't help but grin back. His eyes flicked down to my lips and I pushed away from him, sitting up. I stood up, letting out a breath and making my way into the kitchen.

"You want anything to drink?" I asked and he looked at me confused. I heard him get up and follow me through to the kitchen.

"Everything okay?" He asked, stepping up to the island as I filled the kettle. "Edward? What's the matter?"

"Nothing." I glanced at him, turning and grabbing a mug out of the cabinet, grabbing a tea bag and putting it in.

"Hey," I closed my eyes as he appeared right behind me. "What's the matter? You freaking out about this?"

"No." I shook my head, moving away from him.

"Then what is it?"

"It's this." I gestured between the two of us. He looked at me, confused and I ran my hands through my hair, letting out a frustrated breath. "I can't do this, Jasper. I mean . . . the way you are with Killian is . . . great. It's unbelievable how good you are with him. I hadn't even imagined that it would go so well but . . . I can't do . . . _us_ again. It hurt too much, Jasper. I can't do it."

"Edward," he said softly, stepping towards me slowly. There was something in his eyes that I couldn't read and that made me worried. "I know you're afraid." He stopped in front of me, looking down a sadness in his eyes that I couldn't understand. "I am too." He cupped my chin gently in his hands and I couldn't tear my eyes away from him. "Edward, I . . ."

"What?"

"I'm still in love with you." He whispered and I felt my chest constrict. "I never stopped loving you. That was the one thing that made me angrier than anything else. The fact that you'd cheated on me – that's what I thought," he spoke up before I could say anything, "and I couldn't hate you. I couldn't be angry at you and that made me even madder. It was a cycle I couldn't stop. And I know why I couldn't hate you. Because I still love you. And I don't think I'll ever stop."

"Jasper . . ." My voice was nothing more than a whisper as I looked up at him.

"I know you're scared but I just wanted you to know." He looked down at the ground for a second before looking back at me. He leaned forward, his lips pressing against my forehead gently before stepping away. "When . . . when are you picking up Killian?" He asked and I blinked a couple of times, trying to process.

"Um . . ." I shook my head, trying to clear it. "Sorry, um . . . three."

"Are we going to tell him about the baby?" He asked and I took another deep breath.

"We have to." I sighed, biting down on my bottom lip. "He's going to notice when this little one makes itself known." He reached out, placing a hand on my stomach again, letting out a soft sigh. He had a small smile on his face and I knew I'd made the right decision in telling him as soon as possible. Of course, there wouldn't be any way I would be able to hide it even if I wanted to but sooner was better.

"Should we do it together?" He asked, looking nervous. I knew how he was feeling. Killian had taken Jasper's appearance in his life with ease but with knowledge of having to share the both of us with a sibling might not go so smoothly. I nodded slowly, running a hand through my hair. I had a feeling that it was going to start falling out soon. "I, um, I have to go into work for about an hour or so this afternoon." I noticed that it was half one already and I wondered where the day had gone. "Um, I kind of, I want to be there when you pick him up, if that's okay." I nodded, understanding why he wanted to be there. "Would you . . . you want to come into the office with me?"

"Huh?" Why the hell did he want me to come in with him?

"I, um . . ." He scratched the back of his head, looking slightly nervous and I grew more confused. "I don't know. I guess . . . if . . . it's like if I . . . if I can't see you, it's like it's not . . . real, you know?" I guess I could understand where he was coming from. Kind of. "I know it sounds weird but . . . part of me would just feel better knowing that you're not on your own."

"I'm not on my own." I chuckled and he rolled his eyes.

"You know what I mean." I nodded, understanding where he was coming from. He was afraid that something could happen in the little while that we were apart. He wanted to be there for everything. "I mean . . . I didn't get to . . ."

"I know." I couldn't look at him, knowing that he was referring to the fact that he hadn't been there for my pregnancy with Killian. He didn't want to miss out on anything. "Although for the next few months all you're going to get is me plus nausea, aching and hormones. It's not much fun."

"Yeah?" I shrugged, shaking my head and he laughed. "I wanna be there anyway."

"Alright," I nodded, giving him a small smile. "Let me get dressed first." He grinned, nodding and I ran upstairs.

I quickly threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, throwing on a button up over it. I glanced in the mirror, placing a hand over my stomach, taking a breath. I couldn't help but smile to myself.

I made my way downstairs, slipping on a jacket and my shoes, grabbing my phone, jacket and keys, meeting Jasper in front of the door. He gave me a smile, opening the door and gesturing for me to go ahead of him. I waited for him to step outside before locking the deadbolt and following him down to his car.

I hadn't been in it before. We tended to use my car seeing as it had a car seat in it but as I slipped into the passenger seat, I noticed the brand new car seat that had been secured into the back. I raised an eyebrow at Jasper as he started the car, pulling out of the driveway.

"What?"

"Car seat?"

He shrugged, glancing at me as he drove. "I figured that there would be some times when Killian would be riding with me. I know he's not allowed in the front seat and until he's a little bigger he needs a car seat. Cause you gotta admit, he's a little small."

I laughed, shaking my head as I looked out of the window. "Yeah, I know he is. Nothing we can do about that unfortunately. I make him eat all his veggies, he gets the right amount of sleep and all of that but I guess that some kids are just small. He's one of them."

"You know you can't pick him up anymore." He smirked and I scowled at him. "What? I've heard that lifting heavy objects, such as small children, isn't good when you're pregnant."

"I know." I sighed. That was one of the things that was not going to sit well with Killian. He sought comfort from being picked up and he wouldn't like that I couldn't do that anymore. "He's not going to like it though."

"I noticed that. He always asks to be picked up when he's upset." I nodded, pleased that Jasper had noticed that. "It's something he's going to have to deal with though."

"I know. It's just going to be hard, that's all. But then again, he's getting heavy, so I wouldn't have been able to carry him around for much longer anyway." He chuckled and I smiled, watching the streets go past.

"You'll let me know if you need anything, right?" He glanced at me, trying to keep his eyes on the road as he drove but apparently wanting to look at me as well. "Anything."

"Of course." He wanted to be involved and I wasn't going to get in the way of that. He'd missed out with Killian and he was really trying now.

I just had to try and get past the bombshell he'd dropped on me earlier. I didn't know how to deal with the knowledge that he was still in love with me. I knew that I was still in love with him but I wasn't ready for the words to come out yet. I didn't know if I would ever be.

Time will tell on that front I guessed.

We pulled up outside a large building, I guessed was Jasper's building. He smirked at me as he parked in a space that was directly in front of the doors. I noticed that his name was on a plaque in front of the space and I rolled my eyes, chuckling.

We climbed out of the car and I followed him into the lobby, our footsteps echoing across the marble lobby. I couldn't help but chuckle as we stepped into the elevator.

"What?" He asked, looking confused.

"Nothing." I shook my head but he nudged me, clearly wanting me to explain. "Sorry, I've just had a Devil Wears Prada flashback. Don't judge." I held up a hand as he chuckled. "Anya made me watch it."

"Made you?"

"Yes." He gave me a disbelieving look. "I was pregnant, wanting ice cream and Anya wouldn't give it to me unless I watched it with her. At that point, I wasn't able to get around as easily as I wanted to so I didn't really have a choice. Oh God."

"What?" He looked worried and I chuckled, shaking my head.

"I've just realised I'm gonna be a beached whale again." I moaned and he chuckled.

"You'd never look like a beached whale."

"Alright, try telling yourself that in a few months' time." I shot back and he grinned. "I need to make an appointment with the doctor, so I'm going to do that while we're here." He nodded and we exited the elevator.

As soon as we walked to the floor, Demetri appeared, looking relieved at seeing Jasper but scowling when he saw me standing there behind him. What the hell was his problem? Scratch that. I didn't really care.

Jasper motioned for me to follow the two of them to his office and I did, settling on the couch as they sat at the desk.

"Alright, Demetri, make this quick. We've got an hour before we have to pick up our son." Jasper smirked at me and I couldn't help but smile at the words he'd used.

I pulled up the number I had for Dr Banner's office, quickly making an appointment with them for a scan. I had managed to get one for the next day at five o'clock which meant that I would have to leave work early. I knew that once I explained why, Anya would understand. Actually, I think that she would start making plans for the two of us to go through this together and that the two babies would grow up together. Of course, hers would be a couple of months older, but that wouldn't matter to her.

I'd have to buy some earplugs before I told her.

All through their meeting, I could feel Demetri's gaze on me and I didn't like it. It made me uncomfortable and I think he knew that. Jasper had to get his attention a couple of times and I could tell that he was getting frustrated with him.

Not that I blamed him.

About half an hour later, Demetri left and Jasper sat down next to me, an expectant look on his face. "Tomorrow at five." He nodded, looking thoughtful. "Can you make it?"

"I think so. I'm sure the boss would give me some leeway." I rolled my eyes and he chuckled. "What about Killian? Doesn't the aftercare thing at the day care close at five?"

I nodded. "I'm sure Anya would be fine with picking him up." I shrugged and he nodded, smiling. "That reminds me, I need to have you put on the list to pick him up."

"Really?" He sat up, a grin spreading across his face.

"Yes, of course." I chuckled and he rolled his eyes at me, playing it off even though I could see that it was a big deal to him. "If I don't and you want to pick him up from school, you won't be able to. Makes sense."

It wasn't too much later that we left the office and Jasper drove us over to the school.

We made our way into the school entrance and I walked up to the reception letting them know that I wanted them to add Jasper onto the list of people that could pick up Killian. I saw eyebrows go up as they asked who he was to Killian and I said that he was his father. I kept my face serious and they added him to it with little fuss.

"Daddy!" We both turned to see Killian running towards us. "Papa!" He launched himself into Jasper's arms and he laughed. I was glad that he had headed for Jasper rather than me. That could have been awkward.

I got confirmation that Jasper had been added to the list and we made our way out towards the car. "We in Papa's car?" He asked, looking between us, excited and we nodded. He cheered in Jasper's ear and he flinched at the sound. I chuckled and he glared at me for a moment before laughing as Killian wriggled to get down.

He ran towards the car, stopping at the front passenger door and I raised an eyebrow, opening the backseat door. He climbed in and settled into the car seat, looking around the car as I strapped him in.

"You gotta teach me how to do that." Jasper chuckled and I grinned, climbing into the car.

It didn't take long for us to get home, Killian chattering the whole way. Apparently, the little boy Jamie had been trying to upset Killian again so he just told him that he was jealous because he had two daddies to do fun stuff with when he only had one. Which I thought was pretty grown up of him.

Of course, then he had 'accidentally' spilled his yoghurt on Jamie afterwards. He was a sneaky little shit to play it off as an accident to the teacher though.

Not that he cared when he was at home.

Jasper reprimanded him for spilling the yoghurt, telling him that retaliating that way wasn't the way we deal with bullies. I was proud that he had been able to tell him that he was in the wrong just as he should have. Of course I didn't miss the concealed 'well done' in his statement. I don't think Killian caught on but I raised an eyebrow, letting him know that I did. He just gave me a small shrug as he pulled into the driveway.

Killian was itching to get out and I laughed as I grabbed his bag, waving it at him as he stood in front of the door waiting to be let in. I handed him his bag and he grinned up at me.

He ran into the house and we called for him to stop. I lead him into the living room and sit him down on the sofa.

"We need to talk to you for a moment, kiddo." Jasper said softly sitting on one side of him, while I sat down on the other side.

"I in trouble?" He asked looked at the two of us.

"No, of course not, Peanut." I brushed his hair out of his eyes. "Though you do need a haircut." Apparently, he was not impressed by that news as he pouted up at me.

"We do have something to tell you though." He looked between us and we both smiled at him. "How would you like a little brother or sister to look after?"

"What you mean?" He looked confused as he looked up at me.

"Well, you know how before you were born you lived inside my stomach?" I asked and he nodded, patting my stomach. "Well, right now, there's a baby brother or sister in there for you."

"In there?" He asked, pointing to my stomach and I nodded. "Now?"

"Yeah."

"When will it be here?"

"Got a little while yet, buddy." Jasper chuckled and he looked down at him.

"When?"

"Not sure. We've got to see the doctor first, Peanut."

"Why, you sick?"

"No, kiddo." Jasper brushed his fingers through his hair. "But when you're having a baby, like your Daddy, you have to see the doctor to make sure the baby is okay."

"He is okay?" He asked, placing his hand on my stomach.

"Yeah, he is, Peanut." I said softly and he nodded.

"I want a brother." He said before sliding off the sofa and turning towards us. "And tell him to hurry up." With that he ran out of the room and I turned to Jasper, laughing.

"Well, that's that then."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

**This is actually how my brother's little boy responded to them telling him that he was going to have a little brother or sister. It was classic. They were expecting a huge blowout from him and all they got was 'I want a brother and tell him to hurry up'.**

**It was classic.**

**Let me know what you think.**


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